Random Thought: 29

Hello all,

Tonight I finally realized just how amazing this all really is. Yeah, I know, now that I only have a week left in this country, I realize how amazing it is. Like, I just realized that 10 years from now I will look back on this month in India and just shit. Like, I will never have an experience like this ever again. It’s so weird how I just go back and forth here. I’m constantly racing back and forth between ‘OHMANICANTWAITTOGOHOME’ and ‘UGGHIWANTTOSTAYHEREFOREVER’ in my head. It’s really a combination of things, I guess. Like, I’m so lucky to have met the people that I’ve gotten to know. Because really, I could totally be friends with all of these people back home. It’s not like ‘Oh, we’re both white, so…I guess we’ll hang out. I mean, you’re kind of funny sometimes…?’ It’s like, the friends I have made are all really awesome people, whom I have a blast with, and whom I would absolutely be friends with in the states, without hesitation. Furthermore, they make me look like an amateur (traveler! Ha). Like, they have all been, well, everywhere. I’m not even kidding. They’re all so much more continental than I, it makes me sad to just think about it. Devi? My friend from France? She speaks FIVE languages. And not like, ‘oh I kind of speak some chinese, because I took a class in it 7 years ago.’ Like, she can converse and laugh and relate to people in FIVE languages. I hate America! I just want to live in Europe. I mean, fuckin right when it comes to India, but seriously. Europe is homeboy.

OH! This is hilarious. For like the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going home and NOT obsessing about traveling. Because like, for the last two years really, travel has literally been all I ever thought about. I was preparing for Eurotrip I, then I wanted to go back to Europe, then I decided I also wanted to go to India and SE Asia, and then I had to actually plan it all, and seriously, I was just constantly buying travel books and skimming Amazon for backpacks and asking people for advice and joining sites like TravBuddy and Lonelyplanet.com and all this exhausting shit, and I realized that once I’m home, I’m not gonna be obsessed anymore! Ya know? Like, I should feel pretty fulfilled by October 23rd, and I should be able to wait at least like, a few months before I even think about planning something else….or so you’d think. The other night I got an email from the poli sci department and apparently the Department of State sends students overseas every summer to become fluent in a critical language….for free. Like, literally, they will pay for your airfare and room and board and everything, for 8 weeks in the summer. I skimmed thru the programs, and I was disappointed at first because for the Russian program, you need two years already (I only have 1), and for Chinese and Japanese you also need at least 2 (I have…zero lol). But then I went to Turkish…and you don’t need any. But I’ve already got a whole fuckin year. And I got an A in it! So, I’m totally looking into it.

I mean, right now, I don’t have any desire to plan a trip abroad in the near future, but I don’t want to miss out on anything because I’m tired lol. This isn’t until June, and like I said, COMPLETELY FREE. How is that even possible? I don’t know, but I honestly can’t think of a more exciting or strategically located place to live for 8 weeks than Istanbul…except maybe Paris. Or Azerbaijan. Should I go to Baku? You don’t need any experience in the language.

PS, why is it that all the international students at Iowa are from east Asia? You never meet Australians or South Asians or anything! And the only European international students I’ve met are grad students.

Anyway, I just got done playing Uno with a bunch of Indian kids, and let me tell you, even Uno is different here. Humanity is a messed up thing. It’s corny, and so obvious, but it’s just ridiculous how truly different things are in India. It’s just so messed up to even walk down the street. Like, on any given street, you will see a chic European café, beggars, homeless people asleep, stray dogs who probably have rabies, a Dominos pizza, a cell phone shop, an Indian restaurant I wouldn’t eat from for $1000, and then a cow. Then you’ll probably get hit by a car. Fucking crazy.

In other news, my placement has turned into such a joke. It’s like, this organization totally does a lot of great stuff. I realize this. There are so many success stories, it’s true. And I am totally satisfied with how much I have learned about, well, the real world problems of marginalized communities while here. Like in the human trafficking project, I learned about this girl who was lured into the world of prostitution by being offered an awesome job in Mumbai or something (the two ways that are the most common to lure someone into being trafficked are to either feign a love affair or promise a wonderful job opportunity), and then she was abducted and forced into a brothel. She lived there for two years before escaping. She met someone whom she thought could offer help, but was abducted AGAIN. Then like 5 years later, the cops raided the place and she was taken to MCCSS. From here, she was reunited with her family after like 6 months. Two months later her mother died.

I know. It’s so heartbreaking that shit like this even happens. And it happens everyday. And I’m so glad that I’m here to meet people who have had to deal with these actual problems, but I could have learned about these same things from watching a documentary. I really have done, like, nothing while here. On the one hand, I’ve realized that it’s stupid to try to volunteer in a program like this for only four weeks. You need to spend the entire first week just adjusting and there’s sightseeing and orientation and stuff. Then you need like a week just to become familiar with the ins and outs of the organization. Then, maybe you can make a difference. So, I definitely wouldn’t give MCCSS high marks in their utilizations of volunteers. But my friends, who are here to do other, completely different assignments, like working with disabled children in a craft center, or interning at a Law firm, have told me that they all are having very similar experiences. It’s like, in the Indian psyche to treat you as a guest, and not work you too hard.

Furthermore, there isn’t the infrastructure or codes of conduct that we’re used to in the west, with strict guidelines of what volunteers can and can’t do, confidentiality clauses, and widespread educational tools to weed out those who aren’t qualified to help out. Add to that the perpetual Indian attitudes of untimeliness, the language barrier and the exhausting heat, and it’s just like…the perfect recipe to not get anything done. It’s frustrating, because obviously everyone is here to help and get involved and be busy, but it seems like such an endemic problem that there’s nothing I can do about it.

Like, take for instance my Aussies. Joel and Viv are SO READY to work. They are constantly brain-storming, and are super experienced and qualified and they’re confident and motivated and they need to be here to graduate, so they need good experiences to reflect and report on. Like, as soon as they got here, they started planning this self-esteem workshop to teach the women in the short-stay home about self-esteem (I actually don’t know if the same concept exists in India). Three weeks later (today), they actually got to present it. It was REALLY awesome, and I got to help some children make a collage and it was a great experience, even for me. Imagine what the place could be like if my friends’ talents were actually put to use??

However, I will say that even though MCCSS is somewhat lacking, the NGO that brought me here, ELI, has been wonderful. I could not ask for more support or assistance, and this has been wonderful. So, if you’re interested in overseas volunteering, I’d definitely recommend ELI, but I would probably suggest other projects. They offer stuff all over the world. And PS, I will never, ever visit a place like India on my own ever again without the assistance of some kind of organization or tour company or local friend, because it is all too overwhelming to do on your own. At least for me, and I even have the guts to actually do all this. Like, if I didn't have an in-country contact upon arrival, I don't even know how I would have gotten to a hotel. Or if I would have ever left. But that's just me. I grew up in Iowa. I'm just glad I didn't have to learn this the hard way.

In news that’s not related at all, tonight I went to the fourth mall of my Indian excursion. I know, you can totally make fun of me. But it gets better...I had McDonalds (a big mac in India is the Big Maharaja). Don’t I suck? I also bought season 1 of Private Practice (Addison Montgomery = my life, even in Asia) and almost went to Baskin Robbins, but decided that the first time I get BR should probably be in the US. I just can’t help it….I crave consumerism!! Consumerism and capitalism and imperialism?? They’re my saviors. It’s terrible, but necessary.

OH! You’re gonna shit. I’ve decided to join choir next semester. I KNOW. It’s gonna be stupid and awesome at the same time. Much like most of this trip.

Love,
Josh A