Final Thought

Well hello.

My trip has taken an unexpected turn. After spending a few hours at the Kuala Lampur airport, checking in for my next flight, getting my baggage through security, etc, I was watching CNN in a waiting area. They started discussing the Typhoon in the Philippines. I’ve heard of this, seen it on cnn.com, so I’m just watching and waiting for the next topic to come. All of a sudden, I hear ‘and next is China and Vietnam. They’re gonna have to brace themselves.’

WHAT.

So immediately I dart out of my chair and go to these free computers with internet and I start googling ‘track Typhoon Megi ’ ‘Typhoon megi to hit vietnam’ ‘typhoon megi nearing china’ etc etc and pretty much every link I find ends in the same way. ‘Now that the Philippines has experienced the worst of it, the storm is headed for China and Northern Vietnam.’

I couldn’t find any specific prediction of when it would find landfall, because no one’s fucking sure and this is Vietnam, but it seems pretty obvious. Sometime in the coming days, Vietnam may be screwed. So I’m like…about to have a heart attack. What should I do? Should I go to Vietnam and just fly out in case of emergency? What if EVERYONE is doing that and I can’t get a flight out? What if all flights are cancelled and I’m forced to stay in Vietnam while it braces for impact? I weigh all my options. And I had lots. I could book a flight to Seoul, which only cost $500, and just stay there until my final flight home on the 13th. Or I could book a flight right here and now to just get home for $1200. Yeah, it’s steep. But I have enough to cover emergencies like this (And not much more). Plus, I have 2 Visa credit cards.

If I do the $500 flight to Seoul, I’d still have to book 4 nights at a hotel in Seoul, plus pay for whatever touring and shit I do…even though I know NOTHING about Seoul or South Korea so I’d literally be wandering around aimlessly until I find a Lonely Planet. Or I could risk it and just fly to Vietnam and then pay whatever it takes to move my flight up and fly out ASAP. But, again, what if everyone else is doing that too? What if the Typhoon changes direction (which every single website told me it may do) and just heads straight for Hanoi, forgetting about China? And me trying to save a couple hundred bucks was the difference between getting out or being stuck for a week (I assume that changing my flight at this point would cost at least $500 – I looked up how much it would cost to change a flight last minute when I wasn’t sure leaving right away in August and it cost $500 just to change it plus the difference in fare)? And it’s not like the Hanoi airport is Kuala Lampur or Bangkok. I couldn’t just wait idly there for 24 or 36 hours like I can at these high-tech ultra-modern fucking space stations. It would probably suck. Furthermore, if I DID go to Vietnam just like it was planned, I’d be like, stressed the entire time, just praying that I’d make my flight and avoid any storm.

So I just come to the decision that the best thing to do is book the flight out from Kuala Lampur home. In many ways, it really really sucks. I was looking forward to going home and having quite a bit of extra cash on hand, but now I’m gonna be pretty tightly strapped. And sadly, I’m really not like…in the zone to go home, ya know? Like, I was planning on really thinking things out and just prepping myself for my return home over the next few days…but now, it’s like, I had 2 hours to decide I wanted to go home and then one day to deal with it. But on the other hand, I am very excited, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I cry just a little bit when I reach the O’Hare arrival hall.

OH! PS. The only reason I was made aware of this $1200 flight (which is like, way decent, right? That’s like almost what you’d expect to pay at a regular, non-last minute fare) is b/c this super nice Malaysian information desk attendant lady let me get on her computer and see what was available. It was actually really funny b/c I was like ‘Do you know of any flights to Chicago?’ and she was like ‘Not off the top of my head, but let me call someone at Malaysian Airlines…(three minutes later)…there is a flight available tomorrow morning from here to Paris to Chicago for $7000.’ Then she was like ‘You could fly to Singapore and see what they have.’ And I’m like ‘why the fuck would I just fly to Singapore? There has to be SOME flight that I can take out of here that connects somewhere in the world to Chicago.’

I almost started crying, b/c I thought I was going to be stuck in Kuala Lampur until whenever I could find a decent flight out. But then she just like, googled it and found the flight I’m currently on, haha. I have to connect in Delhi, which is hilarious. Then I’m taking a 15 hour flight directly from Delhi to Chi-town.
I have no idea how I’m gonna handle that. I’m serious. I only have 2 books and one of them is halfway done and I’m already using up some of the battery on my computer. While I am sad to not be visiting Vietnam (and I was only gonna go to the coast, which, duh, is probably the stupidest thing you could do now, so I’d be stuck in Hanoi looking at lame museums anyway), I am very, very excited to be going home.

I think the best thing about this trip is that I have experiences COUNTLESS moments of true happiness…like, moments where I just can’t help but smile the biggest smile imaginable, all to myself, and just love every second of life. It happened the first time on my first train in Germany, directly after exiting the airport, when I realized this was all actually happening. I had another one just now, realizing that I’ll be home within 1 day. It’s weird how time kind of distorts things, ya know? Like, traveling around with the Danish girls in the Balkans seems like years ago, almost, but the other day I was showering in Bali and I remembered a joke between me and Jason.

We both love and have always loved Friends, so we have various jokes from it, which are mostly just quotes. One is this random interaction between Rachel and Ross, where Ross asks Rachel ‘Oh Really?!’ and Rachel replies ‘Oh yah!!’ and I have no idea what episode it’s from or what they’re talking about, but it’s one of my and Jason’s things. Anyway I for some reason thought of it and it felt as though Jason and I were just recounting that joke, like, a week ago. Or the evening before I left where I went out to eat with Jason, Jess and Nick feels like so recently.

Anyway, if my trip was only a month, or I didn’t have things to get back to in the US, I would probably have just flown to Hanoi and then traveled away from the coast…and just stayed for as long as necessary. But I realized that being stuck in Hanoi for even one more day was literally the last thing in the world I wanted to do. Like, even if things were fine, but I couldn’t get out b/c of cancelled flights or whatever, I would have gone insane. I have been counting down the days and thinking and thinking about going home, and there was honestly no scenario that even seemed slightly appealing, except for just going home right now.

Yes, I’m still freaking out about the fact that I’m $1200 poorer, but what’s done is done. My number one philosophy in travel, and the first thing I tell friends when they go backpacking, is that you CANNOT stress about money. You will lose money, you will be scammed, you will spend more than you wanted, but you can’t stress about it or it will ruin everything. Obviously in this case, it’s kind of ridiculous, but right now I’m just focusing on the good. And thank god I was watching CNN.

WHAT THE HELL WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HADNT BEEN SITTING ON THAT COUCH?! I’d be all la dee da I’m in Vietnam ooh this is pretty why is my beach tour cancelled? The what’s coming? HOLY SHIT. And then I would have cried…something which still hasn’t happened on this trip…(knock on wood). And thank god this happened at the end of my trip. What if like, I was about to go to India and they were like ‘Ummm people shouldn’t go there, because there’s a huge Pakistani nuclear bomb about to explode over the entire country…sorry…’ or something crazy like that? If I hadn’t had the fact that after just a couple of flights, I’d be home and done with all of it, I think the whole thing would have been much harder.

In 24 hours I can get a big gulp at Kum n Go!

But yeah, I guess this may just be the end of my travel blog. I have very much enjoyed sharing my experiences with you all, and I can’t believe anyone would ever want to read about them (oooh he went to another museum? Cool!), but thank you so much for caring and having an interest. I hope that you guys have perhaps become inspired to travel, if not already. Now that I’m broke, who knows when I’ll get to travel again, but I really hope that in the near future I can make it back to Europe to finally see the UK or Scandinavia. Those are definitely priorities. Perhaps in a couple of years, I’ll have another blog, and I’ll call it ‘Experienced Traveller’ or ‘World Conquerer.’

Those are both terrible aren’t they? Something stupid like that.
PPS do you think this is totally what I get for always saying ‘Nothing has gone wrong on this trip! Everything has gone exactly the way it’s supposed to!’ over and over again? I kind of do. But, I doubt that God/fate/Buddha/whoever would punish an entire peninsula just b/c I didn’t knock on wood.

OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST PART. This is so stupid and hilarious, and I feel like it completely exemplifies this trip and my life. So, like I said, I was already checked in and past immigration and everything before I realized that I wasn’t going to Hanoi. So when I was like ‘ok, no.’ I had to go BACK through immigration to cancel my flight. They’re like ‘what are you doing?’ and then I had to get my bag, which was on the OTHER side of immigration. Then I had to go about again and check in for my new flight and AGAIN go through immigration. I have SO many stamps from Malaysia, you wouldn’t believe. Thank GOD that US citizens don’t need a visa in Malaysia, or I would have been screwed.

They seriously thought I was just a fucking idiot though. I’m not even kidding, it was so funny. This one guy was like ‘umm…’ and then just started laughing and he called his friend over to tell him the story. I don’t blame him. I would have done the same.

If once at home, I realize there is more to share, I may make another update. If not though, I will be seeing you all very soon :)

Love,
- Josh A

Random Thought: Something

Greetings loved ones,

I apologize for the ridiculous delay. I am currently sitting at the Kuala Lampur International Airport. Like the Bangkok airport, this airport looks as though it is from the future. It really kicks the Bangkok’s airport’s ass. Anyway, I’m in the midst of a 12 hour layover. I know. I don’t know what my problem is. I have decided that on my next trip, anywhere, there are some general rules I’m going to follow. The first of which is to not skimp on $50 and book a ridiculously scheduled journey. Some other rules include:

1) When booking youth hostels in Europe, I will only book a place which has lockers and wifi and air and has over a 90% approval rating by all raters.
2) I will always have a netbook or cell phone with me.
3) I will NOT fly around the world and visit 3 very different regions. I mean, don’t get me wrong, this trip is great. I love every second of it, but it’s truly ‘once in a lifetime’. In every way. I don’t plan on ever embarking on this kind of trip again. Too many flights, too many adjustments, too many things that can go wrong.

But a lot of these rules are moot, as I don’t plan on venturing out into the world again for a solo/backpacking type tour again anytime soon. It’s not that I’m opposed to the notion, but I just don’t’ see it being a reality. I mean, yeah, I would LOVE to come back to Europe next summer and backpack across Scandinavia or the Baltic States, but I won’t have the money or the time, probably. I of course still hope and plan to travel, but I will be relying on a couple of other means, most likely.

It’d be cool to actually go abroad as part of an organized program. Like most people go to study or work or intern abroad, and yeah, that’d be cool. But more importantly, I just plan on looking out for opportunities to travel with friends. Hannah wants to go live in S. America for a year next year? Boom. Spring Break. Jackie decides to teach in China? Boom. Week long trip. Jojo and Caden going to the UK for a wedding? Boom. Wedding crasher. I also plan on doing this within the US. Erik’s going to California sometime. Boom. Sunkist skin so hot it melts my popsicle.

Speaking of which, I have GOT to see the US already! I have literally seen NOTHING of the US. All my friends I’ve made from Australia and Europe have been to more places in the US than me. It’s pretty bad. So yeah, I’m totally down for road-tripping to…well, anywhere. SPEAKING OF WHICH! Do you know how AWESOME it’s going to be to NOT have to have an upcoming trip in the back of my mind ALL THE TIME?!

Like, I miss getting haircuts. I do. I miss going to the mall and just going shopping for clothes. I never do this anymore. Because (aside from going out to eat or buying alcohol or DVDs) I have really stopped spending money on a lot of things, because everytime I think about it, I just realize that that money would be better kept in my bank account, in case I need it for whatever trip I’m saving for in the near future.

So, when I get back, I’m gonna stop looking like shit. I’m gonna stop cutting my own hair, start buying more clothes, and not worry as much about finances. THAT IS GONNA BE AWESOME. Well, that is, until I have to start paying my student loans off. FUCK.

So I guess you want to know about Bali. It was nice. Like, that’s the best word that can possibly describe it. It’s nice. That might sound a little underwhelming, but to me, ‘nice’ is a really great freakin’ word. I mean, I would never describe India as nice. It’s amazing and breathtaking and life-changing, but it’s not nice. I wouldn’t describe most countries in Europe as nice either. In one word, I’d say that Greece is interesting, I’d say that Italy is romantic, I’d say that France is beautiful, Amsterdam is gross, Budapest is edgy, Prague is…well…living history, lol. I could go on and on.

Bali is nice. Very nice. It’s calm, and relaxing. It’s hot, but not overwhelming. It’s easy to get around, but not as developed as Bangkok, which means at times you feel as though you’re in the US. In Bali, you always feel as though you’re in Bali. There are a SHIT ton of tourists there, but it never feels touristy. And Jackie and I did the most touristy things you can imagine for a couple of days, and it still felt authentic.

Many describe Bali as magical, and that’s also an appropriate word. Like, honestly, it kind of is. Everywhere you go, there’s something religious or superstitious or beautiful or at least interesting. You can’t say that about Europe or India. A lot of Europe is just plain old consumerism. A lot of India is just trash. But everything in Bali is kind of wonderful. You don’t see the pollution or poverty of other developing countries, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it’s not a bad thing either.

And it’s the GREENEST country I’ve ever been to. Literally, like, it is SO FECKING GREEN you have no idea. It is so lush. Every road is lined with thick palm trees, and there are the most gorgeous rice terraces. The beaches aren’t as good as those you can find in Europe or other resort locations, but they’re still great. The water is the clearest I’ve ever seen. Like, water in Italy is just green. Water in Croatia is blue. Water in Iowa City is brown. Water in Bali is CLEAR. It’s awesome.

The flora is also varied. Like, in one day, we went from ‘oh my god this beach is so gorgeous’ to ‘oh my god am I in Tibet standing on Mount Everest overlooking the Himalayas?’ to ‘umm I’m in the rainforest’ and it was great. I’ve never (really) been to the rainforest before, and we visited one…full of monkeys. Oh and we went to a zoo and a safari which was the FUNNEST thing EVER. I held a baby chimp. SO CUTE.

And the airport wasn’t bad, either.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I WILL BE HOME IN 4 DAYS?! It’s the 19th now and I’ll be home the 23rd. SHIT I’ll board my plane to get out of Vietnam the 22nd. Oh my god. I don’t even know how I’m gonna handle it. I kind of, like, legitimately freaked out about a week ago when I realized just how soon I was to being home, so I’m glad I got that over with, because now I’m more at ease with it. But it’s still kind of scary. But also comforting. Kind of, because I’m constantly like ‘oh my god four days….if I make it.’

Like, I literally always follow an observation of how much time I have left abroad with a caveat. These are some examples:

‘Oh my god I’m gonna be in Vietnam tomorrow….if I’m not in a plane crash on the way.’
‘MAN I’M GOIN TO BALI! …unless someone plants drugs on me at the airport and I’m taken to an Indonesian jail for the rest of my life.’
‘I can’t wait to get home….if I even survive this.’

I know, I’m dumb. But I like, hate taking things for granted. That’s just me. I’m a pessimist and a realist (which is like, contradicting everything, because a realist would argue ‘umm duh the chances of being in a plane crash are like 1 in 200,000,00,00,000,000 so sit down and STFU), and I can never help but remind myself that nothing is guaranteed. I would probably enjoy this trip much more if I didn’t have that attitude.

Speaking of which, enjoyment. That’s the thing about the length of this trip. I was travelled out of Europe after like 3 weeks, right? My time spent in India was NEVER about seeing so much and experiencing everything. It was the opposite. Every enjoyable moment I had existed solely because I met some amazing people whom I had a great time with. Now I’m here in southeast Asia, which I honestly was more excited about than anything else, and it’s really nice and has been very easy and eye-opening, but I’m just not enjoying it as much as I feel I would if I had taken 2 weeks to do it, say 6 months from now. In other words, if Southeast Asia was its own trip, I’d LOVE EVERY SECOND of it.

Right now, I’m probably enjoying every other second. Like, the fact that I’m gonna be home in 4 days is getting me through this layover right now. And it got me through my flight. I am so fecking tired of flying. But that number…4…is a good number. And I hate that I’m concentrating so much on it, but it’s like, I’ve got. I’m travelled out. I’ve been travelled out for 6 or 7 fecking weeks. I don’t know what’s gonna happen when I get home, but I know that I won’t constantly be in transit or this sleep-deprived. That’s a good thing.

Anyway, more about Bali. Jackie scored us this AWESOME place. Like, it was better than staying at a four star hotel. She has these friends of a friend who work at the American school in Bali, and the wife, Krista is the principal and the husband, Chris, is the IT guy. They let us stay at their place, and, let’s just say that place would probably cost like…actually, I have no idea how much it would cost. But you would only find this kind of a house in a resort area, like Palm Springs or Miami or something, and yeah, it’d cost you dearly.

First of all, let’s comment on the space. The space is Asian in nature. Like, in Asia, people tend to make houses and buildings differently than we do in the west. In the US, we generally live in a house, which is one construction, and we have space (a yard) around it, right? In India and Bali and Thailand and probably everywhere else, it’s very common to find a house constructed around space (courtyard). The house might be one structure or more.

The place we stayed at was made of 4 living areas, which together made their house. There was the main structure, composed of the kitchen and living room, which overlooked an outdoor sitting area, which was the centerpiece of it all. It seems that this family tends to hang out in the outdoor sitting area more than the actual living room, which has like the plasma TV and Wii and everything. Then there is another structure with the bedrooms, and then the guesthouse. Where we stayed.

Yeah. We had our own guesthouse. It was essentially a love nest, but it’s ok because I’m totally gay.

There was also a pool, and the couple in question employs at least 2 household employees, who prepared our meals, made our bed, cleaned our room and drove us around. Yes, that all really happened. I know, way better service than at my 4 star hotel in Bangkok with the trannylady.

Aww, I miss Bangkok!

But the couple was totally chill and gave us lots of advice and were totally welcoming and it just made the stay so much better than it could have been if we had stayed at a hotel or something. The beach was like, 10-15 minutes away. OH! And get this. I saw THREE Dolce and Gabanna stores on one street, all within 5 minutes of each other.

WHAT THE HELL.

That is just not necessary. D&G needs to step off. There were also 2 Ralph Lauren boutiques within walking distance of each other too. But the prices are the same as in the US. Go figure. I bought a bunch of crap for people, and my bag is just getting out of hand. I have left behind so many articles of clothing, unnecessary toiletries, finished books, etc, but my bag is not letting up. It’s getting heavier and heavier, because of all the shit I’ve bought, so you mother effers better appreciate it all when I get back.

And my clothes are RANK. You would not believe how low my standards have become when it comes to personal hygiene. Jackie didn’t say anything, but I think she was being nice. Well, as nice as Jackie can be. Did you hear about her and Erin? OH! Back to Bali. We spent some time on the beach, we got massages, drove up a mountain, and SHIT! I got sick. Oh man, that sucked. I literally, like, got totally feckin sick and it sucked. After snorkeling in the ocean (which is AWESOME), it went away somehow, but it was a rough couple of days.

All right this is getting really uninteresting.
- Josh

This Addition is Somewhat Misleading

Random Thought: 32

Hi!

Ok. So I’m sitting at the Bangkok Airport…a full 11 hours before my flight leaves. I know. It’s stupid. I’m stupid. But it was either this or pay for a hotel room and not even sleep in it and then have to pay for an airport transfer at 3 AM, since the metro only runs til midnight. I mean, I guess I could have come at 11 or something, but still, who wants to ride the metro through Bangkok at 11 PM?
So, whatever. I plan on spending my (ridiculously long) evening applying for jobs and watching movies and Grey’s Anatomy. And maybe sleeping. I’ve finally mastered the art of sleeping on planes and in airports. All you need to do is just get no sleep at all leading up to it. Problem solved. OH. GET THIS. I was up at 6 today for a tour (more later), so I got like no sleep. Now I’m up all night. Then tomorrow, I have to wait for Jackie for like 6 hours at the airport. I HATE JACKIE.

Anyway, I’ve decided Thailand is awesome and that Bangkok is definitely a top 3 city in my book, along with Paris. I’m not sure what the 3rd city would be, because no city I’ve been to is as cool as either of these two. I mean, Florence had a lot of character, but it wasn’t exciting. Rome was exciting, but didn’t have as much character. Chennai sucks. Athens is kind of gross and way too hectic and crowded for my style. Prague was absolutely gorgeous, but it’s definitely not as cool as Bangkok. I do love Budapest though….so maybe that’ll be up there by default. Yes, Budapest is the #3 coolest city I’ve been too.

But I have a feeling that’ll change if I ever go to New York, London, Istanbul or Tokyo. PS. I really, really want to go to the UK. Like, if you’re going, can I come? Is that wedding thing that Jo and Caden are going to still on? If not, I’m hoping to go within the next 2 years. LETS GO. THREE WEEKS UK YOU AND ME START SAVING.

So anyway yeah. Bangkok. It’s like, I dunno, just really freaking awesome. OH OH OH OH!!! I want to talk more about gay people here. So like I said before, gay Thais are EVERYWHERE and so are transgenders. They’re out and proud and everyone’s used to it. It’s so different from India (and much of the US), it’s ridiculous. SO I went on this tour today organized by my hotel, which is a four star hotel, so it’s pretty classy and the tour was pretty pricy. We went to this palace and these ancient ruins outside the city. And we had a tour guide the entire time. He was kind of weird, and he was straight b/c he kept talking about beautiful women and how Shania Twain stole his heart (the only reason he’s even heard of Chicago is because he has Shania Twain! Live in Chicago! on DVD) and whatever. But, he kept casually talking about the Ladyboys (transgenders) and how the most beautiful women in the world are the Ladyboys and he was very proud of this part of Thai culture. This was interesting. I mean, in the US, on a tour of like, Chicago, wouldn’t it be weird if all of a sudden, your tour guide just started spouting off about the transgender community? Right. Especially if they worked for a 1st class tour agency.

But this was nothing. I get taken back to my hotel to check out, and I have an even MORE interesting encounter regarding GLBT issues in Thailand. So I didn’t write this before b/c it’s not that interesting, but one of the receptionists at my hotel is SO GAY. Like, he’s Justin Long in that one movie gay….X 10. I don’t even speak Thai, but everything about him screams GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. Now, this doesn’t bother me, be as gay as you fucking want, I don’t care. I say, more power to ya, I hope you piss off and shock every single ignorant person out there and then some. Be yourself! But I’m just trying to stress that even though he was GAY GAY GAYGAY GAYGAYGAY, I don’t mind (and I HATE self-proclaimed ‘straight-acting’ gay guys who think they’re so much better than flamboyant gay guys. Like, guys who are so convinced they’re so straight and that guys who just act themselves ruin it for the rest of us. UGH. SO IGNORANT), so I didn’t really think too much of it, because I’m used to this in the US, but when ya think about it, a lot of American businesses probably wouldn’t really want to hire guys who are that flamboyant, ya know? Like it’s one thing for Starbucks or whatever to do so, but a 4 star hotel in Des Moines? I dunno. I mean, yeah, there are definitely some places where it wouldn’t be surprising, but others, it probably would be, right? Like if you drove up to the Sheraton and the guy who helps you has waxed eyebrows and highlights and an earring, talking like a full-on woman, it’s be surprising. Many people would find it off-putting. I know my father would, as would many straight assholes I know.

Anyway, I check out and this guy helps me and then I get into the free tuk-tuk service provided by my hotel to take me to the metro. Now the driver of my tuk-tuk is probably in his mid to late 40s, and he drives a tuk-tuk all day so he’s obviously a middle class service worker. I get in, and he goes ‘Wave bye to him!’ I’m really confused, but then I realize that he’s referencing the gay front desk worker. I reluctantly waved, because I thought he was making fun of me or something but then I was like ‘ugh this Asia, just wave.’ Because in India, you just get used to waving at everyone, so I was like whatever, it’s just a weird moment where for once, Thailand isn’t completely westernized. I off-handedly joke to myself
‘Haha….weird….maybe he likes me.’

AND THEN the guy just full-out says ‘He like you! He say you very handsome!’ Ok so put all the obvious jokes and humorous thoughts aside about this guy thinking I’m handsome. Just think about it. This is crazy, right? Would the average 40 year old hotel limo driver in the US EVER look at a client and go ‘Wave goodbye to the super-femmy desk worker! He thinks you’re hot!’ Fuck no! I feel like you could probably get fired for doing something like that, in many places. Furthermore, the fact that this 20-something kid was comfortable enough to tell everyone in the hotel that he thinks random guys are hot is also something just out of this world to me.

But it doesn’t stop there. I’m like, laughing uncomfortably, because this was really jarring, and the driver continues. ‘He’ a ladyboy! He like you! A ladyboy!’ and he wasn’t making fun of him, he wasn’t trying to get a rise out of me…he was saying it in a “This is our culture! If you come to Thailand, this is what you get! The gays are proud, we’re proud, we’re all proud together!” However, I was confused. Because like, if you’re a ladyboy, shouldn’t you be dressed as a lady? This guy acted like a woman and spoke like a woman, but he was dressed as a man and wasn’t wearing make up or anything…or so I thought…I’m really bad at telling when people are wearing make up. Honestly, if you’re a girl, and I don’t know whether you’re wearing make up, it’s not you, it’s me.

ANYWAY like, if you’re not dressed in drag, aren’t you just a gay guy? I dunno. Perhaps my tuk-tuk driver was just equating gays to transsexuals, which is something that probably happens in the US all the time among ignorant homophobes, but if so, it wasn’t in a negative way, but a positive one. Like, we’re all family here! Not ‘all those damn homoboys are the same.’ Or anything like that. But I’m pretty sure that most Thais would separate them into two very different categories, like in the west.

But yeah. I really want to learn more about this. I mean, I’ve always had an interest in GLBT issues (duh), but especially trangender issues. Like, I feel like everyone forgets about transgenders. We fight and fight for gay rights, but when do you ever hear about gender identity?? When I was a psychology major, I wanted to be a counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever (I don’t remember which is which), and I either wanted to work with people who had eating disorders, or people with gender identity issues. I would still love to do so, but obviously, I’m not gonna be a psychiatrist. Perhaps a social worker or even a volunteer?

Anyway, is it the same in other Southeast Asian countries? I read that Bali is very gay-friendly…but it doesn’t make any sense because it said it’s gay-friendly because of the religion (Hinduism)…but India’s not gay-friendly at all. India’s so not gay-friendly that many gay men just turn themselves into a 3rd gender called a Hijra and then hope to cut their dick off someday in an alley somewhere because it’s BETTER than being gay. But I guess that there are as many sects of Hinduism as there are Christianity.
ANYWAY in my little book that I bought about Bali in Bangkok for $10, it said that masculinity isn’t a big deal in Bali at all. So, there isn’t a stigma against being feminine or gay or anything that’s not what we as westerners describe as manly. And to judge another person is considered very rude, so it’s just like, engrained in the Balinese philosophy to accept people as they are. It’s actually quite common for the Balinese to experiment here and there with members of both sexes…which makes me wonder what life would be like in the US if we didn’t have the problems we do. Like, I’ve always believed that sexuality is on a spectrum. No one is 100% gay or 100% straight, and in my opinion, the term bisexual is just overkill. Like, how many women do you meet that are attracted to other women in subtle ways but probably wouldn’t ever actually have sex with a girl? Or how many men out there (like the ones you find on dating sites) are “straight” except when it comes to their dirty little secret boys on the side? I just feel like we’re all placed somewhere on this spectrum, and it’s sad we have these labels to segregate people.
And honestly, I feel like it’s all due to religion. Like, if the bible had never said the stupid shit it says about two men lying on the ground together or whatever, life would be so much easier for gays in the west. However, I guess it’s only fair to point out that gay people tend to be persecuted in almost every culture today, so if anything, it’s just another example of how the majority will almost always overpower the minority in any given situation.

So, back to Bali. Ironically, being gay (if it’s even the same label that we have in the west) is so not out of the ordinary that there are hardly any gay clubs or venues, because there isn’t the need for gays to escape and gather in solidarity. That’s interesting. It’s like, Bali is gay friendly, but it’s not a gay party scene. It’s not the place to go if you want to have sex with strangers in clubs or get crabs from a guy in a park somewhere, but it is the place to go if you just want to relax and not feel threatened, and perhaps make some good friends with similar philosophies.

All the gay stuff aside, I would love, love, love to return to Thailand someday. I could even see myself living here for an extended period of time. I don’t think I could honestly live in India for more than like 2 months (which doesn’t even count as living, does it?), especially Chennai, but I could definitely live in Thailand. I can’t even stress how easy everything is. It’s literally just like Europe, from a tourist’s point of view. Everyone told me that people are so used to tourists here, I could get anywhere in no time due to the infrastructure, but I didn’t believe them. Everyone told me it’s a modern, cosmopolitan city, but I didn’t believe them.
Everyone told me that there are more tourists than you’d ever believe, but I didn’t believe them. But it’s really true. Bangkok is exciting and beautiful and GLBT-friendly (though, the rights of GLBT individuals pale in comparison to the rights we have in the US, but the rights we have in the US aren’t too much to brag about anyway, are they?) and full of culture, yet modern. Sure, there are seedy parts…but I saw much, much worse in Amsterdam. If you want to be a gross, creepy tourist, you can definitely be one in Bangkok. If you want to be a normal tourist and steer clear of all that, it’s a piece of cake.

I probably won’t ever live here, but I DO want to come back. However, if I came back to Thailand, I don’t know if I’d return to Bangkok, because I’ve now done everything I want in the north (5 days in Bangkok + the daytrip to Ayutthaya I took today), so I’d most likely stay in the south, and just soak up all the beaches and national parks. OH MY GOD THAT SOUNDS AWESOME LETS DO IT

- Josh A

Random Thought: 31

Hi,

So, I love Bangkok. I really expected to arrive and just freak out and hole up in my room, like I did in India. But, nothing could have been farther from the truth. This city is so easy to travel in, and there are SO many tourists (like, SO many. I cannot emphasize how many there are enough, so I will just say SO many one more time), it’s ridic. Plus, gay thais are EVERYWHEEEERREEEEE. This includes transgenders. There are all these boys in their skinny jeans and faux hawks, and sculpted eyebrows, saying things that I’m sure translate to ‘Miss Thang’ and ‘Honey please!’, etc. So yeah, this place is like…a world away from Chennai. Yet, also a world away from Chicago. The world is so crazy.

On a really great, this is yet another level of development I’m very glad to witness. Like, this trip wasn’t supposed to be a vacation (though, it is really). It was/is supposed to be a learning experience. So, I travelled from Eastern Europe to India and now to Southeast Asia to witness different levels of development and experience different cultures, which you don’t get if you just go to London, though I would LOVE to spend a few months in London.

But yeah, upon arrival in Chennai, I realized exactly what I had signed up for. It was just CRAZY and COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IN EVERY WAY from the US. And even though people kept telling me that Bangkok was cosmopolitan and easy and convenient, I didn’t really believe them. Lol I mean I did, because my friends aren’t liars, but I was constantly just like ‘yeah…I bet I show up and have a fuckin heart attack.’ But I didn’t because they were right and this city is often times JUST like Chicago with more Asians. It really reminds me of Athens, in that it’s gritty and has attitude, but it’s very cosmopolitan. There are cafes and tons of (clean) restaurants and ridiculously overpriced western stores everywhere (Prada, Gucci, Armani, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, etc). Also like Chicago, there are Starbucks on EVERY corner, it seems. Like, there’s one down the street from my hotel, then another across the street from that. Why do they do that?! I’ll never get that.

Chennai had these things too, but you had to look hard to find them. I think that in cities like Mumbai or Delhi, it’s probably a different story, but in Chennai, I often did not feel like I was in an ‘urban’ area. I often felt like I was in the middle of NOWHERE. Because to me, ‘urban’ means skyscrapers and expensive stores I’m not going to go into, etc etc. So, it’s definitely a good thing that I’ve discovered a different sense of the word ‘urban.’ And since, like 5 million people or something live in Chennai, it totally qualifies as urban.

And yeah, I’ve heard from a lot of people that Bangkok is dirty and gross and whatever, but honestly, I’ve only seen one shop that was pretty demure...and I remember a neighborhood in Paris that was waaay more intense and gross than that area in Bangkok. And I’m even apparently staying in an area that’s kind of jank….but you wouldn’t notice it just walking down the street during the day. It feels like Athens or somewhere Mediterranean like Barcelona or something. I mean, I haven’t been here that long, but so far, Amsterdam seems way more nasty. OH! And did I tell you that in Frankfurt, I stayed in the Red Light District?? Because I did. It was also just really funny and not weird at all.

I guess to me, it’s like, sure there are tons of feckin weirdos in this city, but there are a TON of weirdos in Iowa City too. And as long as I don’t put myself in any situation where that would be a big deal, I should be fine, and there’s no reason to describe this city as anything but AWESOME and EXCITING.

In other news, I did some sightseeing today. I went to a Penis Shrine. Like, when women want to have babies, they come to this shrine and give it some kind of Penis shaped object. It was covered in homemade penises. Then I went to a couple of museum/palace/garden/etc complexes. All was very nice. My tour guide was soooooo adorable. She got done with the tour and was like ‘Thank you very much for visiting the museum. I wish you a pleasant stay in Bangkok. I apologize for mistake because this is my first day.’

We all gave her a round of applause. So adorable.

OH! Remember how I said the people of India were soooooo nice and I went on and on? It’s nothing compared to Thailand. A tuk-tuk driver for a hotel I’m not even staying at gave me a free ride today b/c it was raining. When you order a pop, they pour it into the glass for you and everytime they see that your glass is somewhat empty, they come over and pour more of your pop into the glass. It really is ‘the Land of smiles.’

Ok that’s the end.
- Joshers

Almost Done: 7%

Random Thought: 30

The following was written on August 7th

Holy shit.

It’s 5:44 AM and I’m in the Chennai airport. This airport fucking sucks. Like, it’s all right in that I can get out my laptop and I don’t feel like I’m gonna get jumped…but there’s nothing to do here. There’s literally like 1 duty-free shop and then a little magazine booth. There’s one teeny tiny little Snack Bar…and they were out of Pepsi. So I got a Sprite and it cost 70 rupees.

Can you imagine going to LAX or some shit and ordering a coke and then hearing the attendant say ‘that’ll be 70 bucks.’ ?? No. India is so fecked up. I am totally over this fecking country right now. LETS GO THAILAND!!!

Can you even believe I’m gonna be in Thailand by this evening? In fact, I’m probably there right now, if you’re reading this. What the feck am I doing?!?! SERIOUSLY?! AM I SERIOUSLY GOING TO BANGKOK?! Holy shit. Who am I?! I don’t have any business going to Thailand! I’m so stupid. This is all so very stupid…why did I think it was a good idea to put all of this together again?! I’m semi-worried I’m going to arrive at my hotel this evening and just instantly miss my friends and regret leaving India at all…but I am also looking forward to the possibility of pampering myself within my four star hotel for the next 5 days.

Seriously. Like, Europe was all about sight-seeing. Ya know? Like, go go go go church get on the train another church new train take the metro museum palace back to hostel up early to go to the beach then see some ruins than onto the train next town time to eat – no time more churches - another museum whooo I’m exhausted. I got over that soon enough and was ready for India. Though I knew it’d be insane, I was looking forward to staying in one place and getting comfortable and familiar for 4 weeks. I did that, but India was SOOOO exhausting and stressful and ridiculous and stupid, that, like I said in my last post, it was really work. Amazing, wonderful work. Southeast Asia is gonna be about fun and relaxation. FECK yes. I’m sleeping in every single day, and I’m never once going to take the attitude of ‘oh my gosh there’s just so much to do today’. I’m gonna eat my pad thai, get massaged, watch movies on my flat screen plasma TV/DVD player provided in my room, sit at the pool, work out at the gym and then sightsee casually. It’s gonna be aaaawwweeeesome. And I’m gonna be in and out of airports so much over the next couple weeks I NEED to rest, ya know? Time to pamper.

On the other hand…even though I’m ready to head the F out of here ASAP…I did finally get to the point where I feel like I can do whatever I want while I’m here. I finally got over the fear of leaving my room, and the fear of going places on my own. I know. I was like, 6 years old. But I’m just saying, even though I’m still very happy I chose to cut out a month from my travels and not travel all around India…I could if I wanted. So, I’m now just more confident that I’ll come back again.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, and I’m so damn bored…UGH these next two weeks are gonna be hell. I have 4 mile-high journeys ahead of me (including the one I will board in an hour) in the next 16 days and every single one of them includes a night spent at the airport…I’m gonna arrive at Chicago and need to be taken home with an adrenaline drip in my right arm. Like how am I gonna do this? You know Jackie’s gonna be all ‘so ya wanna get up at 7 tomorrow to explore Bali?’ and I’m gonna be all ‘Uuuuuh how about you go to hell….fine.’ Hi Jackie!

My white person count as of today at this airport has been really high. Where are all the white people going? I’m in the domestic terminal.

Oh, and hi Mark Birch! Are you still reading? If so, sorry I never responded. Shit’s crazy. But I already miss your daughter.
- Josh A

Goodbye India, It's been a Blast

Why hello,

The last week has been so emotional. I have completely fallen in love with India. Well, not really India, but the people I have met and the experiences I have had. And I've been dealing with other things. I very much have enjoyed getting to know the people of this country, and I realize that even though four weeks is hardly enough to truly take it all in, it’s been wonderful and I am so glad I FINALLY have a taste of what this region is like. It’s just like, this place is totally a picture book of the world. There is western extravagance, extreme poverty, every religion, oppression, eastern tradition, everything. And the people I have met have just been…life-changing.

The first couple of weeks, I hung out with some friends who, though they were very kind and wonderful, somewhat idealized this country. Though the locals are 95% generous and open and kind, there are of course weirdos and assholes everywhere. Whenever something strange or aggressive happened, these wonderful girls would be like ‘It’s India! There’s no reason for it! It just happens and you get used to it.’ And I’d be like ‘ugh. Do you really have to just deal with it?’ I didn’t want to complain or be negative or culturally insensitive. However, over the past couple of weeks, I have hung out with some other friends, who are quite the opposite. Because of them, I’ve learned that it’s ok to be like ‘Ok this fucking sucks and I hate India’ when you walk out into a market and there are literally 1000 people within 20 feet in every direction, and it’s impossible to move without touching dozens of people or getting pushed. It’s ok to ask someone why they won’t stop staring, or tell them to get out of your face, or that their offer is ridiculous.

Having this attitude has really just…made things easier…and even though I’m extremely nervous to go to Bangkok (I’m so tired of being nervous), this makes it a little better. Like, I feel much more prepared to live in a city soemday, or travel really anywhere now. And I guess I’ll have my first test in 2 days.

HOLY SHIT HOW IS IT OCTOBER 6TH?! I don’t even know. Time is ridic. Though my first week or so just drug on endlessly, the rest of my time absolutely flew by. I’m literally leaving for the airport in a little over 24 hours, and in 48 hours I’ll be in Bangkok at my hotel. In about a week, I’ll be in Bali with Jackie. In 2 and a half weeks, I’ll be home. Home. That’s INSANE. I’m honestly really nervous to go home too. I mean, if and when I walk through the doors of the Arrivals hall in Chicago, I know I will breathe a sigh of relief. And then I’ll probably start crying because I haven’t slept in 24 hours, but it should be a nice feeling. But then what? Things won’t go back to the way they were. People might be different. Though I know that nothing as amazing as this trip can last, and I still won’t regret cutting my tip short, I will really miss everything about this trip…especially India.

I guess I really didn’t see myself making actual friends in India. I hoped I’d meet people and have others to pass the time with, but I really, truly lucked out. I’ve honestly even picked up British and Aussie slang. Today we were at the mall, and instead of asking ‘Are we supposed to go this way?’ I heard myself say ‘Are we meant to go this way?’ and I’ve also discovered that Brits and Aussies have this way of talking that’s completely different than the US. Like, when Americans say a declarative sentence, we tend to lower the pitch of our voice at the end of the sentence. When Brits do the same, they tend to keep their pitch the same…or even raise it. I didn’t notice this, until I noticed myself doing it. I was telling a story and I noticed I was speaking completely differently than I ever have before. And now I’ve been doing it more and more…and this is only after two weeks of hanging out with these guys.

Haha, so much for picking up Indian culture. I don’t know, the biggest Indian thing I can think of is the Head Wobble. And I don't fuckin want it b/c it's annoying. If you’ve never been to India, you probably have no idea what that it is. Even I, someone who has a huge interest in India and has taken 2 classes about it and has met many Indians, had no idea what I was doing upon arrival. See, Indians don’t really nod their head. Or shake it really, either. They do this wobble. They wobble their head back and forth. It means yes. And no. And sure why not. And I guess. And you’re welcome. Literally, you never have any fucking idea what they’re saying.

I didn’t pick it up. But my friend did.

Interestingly enough, the other night I met someone who actually doesn’t do the wobble. She’s this girl named Tivoli. She’s like, an American stuck in an Indian’s body. It’s crazy. She’s totally westernized…even though she’s never been to the west. She wears blue jeans and t-shirts (almost never dresses traditionally), watches American TV (she LOVES 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother and Grey’s Anatomy and the Big Bang Theory), and she wants to move to the US next year. She has a boyfriend (in other words, she’s not waiting around for an arranged marriage) and when she met me, she was like ‘So have you been to any clubs in Chennai?’ and I was like ‘What clubs?’ and she was like, really honestly disappointed that I hadn’t experienced this western, crazy side to Chennai. That like, all I had seen was the poverty and traditional, cultural side. It was crazy. Because like, I almost felt as though she was kind of embarrassed for her country. Like, not necessarily embarrassed, but as someone who relates to western culture, she wanted me to see the wealthy, excessive side, because it’s almost better, per se. She was also super nice and I absolutely loved her…but it was crazy.

Like, she even told my friends Viv and Joel (whom I met her through) that she at time feels like an outsider in her own culture…and Viv and Joel both were like ‘Tivoli, we love you, we have had so much fun with you!’ and she was like ‘You tourists always say it’s fun, but then you leave and it’s back to reality for me.’ Or something like that. Isn’t that sad? I hope she gets to the US someday…but it makes me wonder how she’ll find it. Like, nothing is ever at it seems, ya know? Especially the US. Every region and city has its own distinct flavor. Travel from Texas to Lousiana to Florida to North Carolina to New York to Indiana to Utah to California to Alaska to Hawaii and you will find ridiculous amounts of diversity….in every way….and no TV show or postcard or fastfood joint can really do the country justice.

This whole thing kind of reminds me of illegal immigrants in the US. Like, I remember one day I was reading postsecret and one secret said ‘I was born in Mexico, but my parents brought me to California as an infant. I am not American, but I do not consider myself Mexican. I have no identity.’ It was so sad! And I think very common, but most people probably will never meet these people…not that I’m comparing Tivoli, who is super smart and funny and outgoing and seemingly has a great life, to this sad illegal immigrant story, but it reminded me of that.
So anyway, yeah. Life’s great. I love life. It’s like, I’m so fucking high on life…that I love everything. I’m really gonna miss my friends from India…but nothing gold can stay. Most of them will also be out of Chennai within the next couple of weeks, I’m simply the first to start the gradual dissipation of the group. It’s weird how you can latch onto new realities so quickly, even if you know they’re temporary. Like the other night Viv stayed the night in my room with me and we just talked all night…and I felt as though I could do that forever. It felt like home, and I felt at home. Or sitting around talking with Jas and Jen about how fucking annoying auto drivers are has given me some of the funniest moments of my entire life to laugh at…and in many ways, I would love to stay here for years just shooting the shit…like, I have fully adapted to this new, crazy, eventful, stressful place called India, and I have really built up this little makeshift family, and I love all my new friends, very very much. But, I am ready to get home. The thought of getting home is fully exhilarating. Like, I am nervous and anxious and excited and looking forward to it, and I really miss so many things I never thought I would.

I miss Thursday TV nights. I miss going to Panera. I miss playing games with Jessica. I miss driving to the mall (stupid, lame, same ol’ same ol’ Coral Ridge Mall, where I’ve gone my entire life to get clothes lol). I miss making sandwiches. I miss ordering pizza (though we did get Domino’s to deliver the other night and it was fucking GREAT). I miss my MacBook. I miss going to ITCs to print stuff. I miss fountain pop (OH MY GOD I MISS FOUNTAIN POP). And of course, I miss going to Kum ‘n Go to get said fountain pop. I miss browsing through E, TV Land, CNN, TBS, and whatever movie channels my parents have ordered this weekend. I really, really miss going to class and being a student. I miss going to movies (recently released movies that aren’t in 3D). I miss Netflix. I miss working out. A lot (I actually am really, really looking forward to going to the gym as soon as I get a place). I miss having my own place! I miss having poster and photos and seeing all my DVDs in a row on the shelf like a nice little DVD family. I miss going to Elkader for the weekend. I miss my mom. I miss American body language. I miss jeans. I miss having a wardrobe I enjoy (I never realized how important clothing is to my personal comfort). I miss having different shoes to wear. I miss American radio (even though every café and mall here is just full of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and especially Akon). But I mean the actual radio. Like, sitting in Jason’s car and flipping between B100 and 102.9. I miss working. I miss Buffy and Lost and Angel. And of course, I miss watching the Anatomy with Jason. I actually just miss Jason, and all the different things we do together…even though, like 75% of the things I listed were really only things I do with Jason. I also miss Jessica, and the Allens. I miss everyone, really. Everyone better still have my fucking postcards because I’m gonna check.

Oh, speaking of the Anatomy, I’m gonna start Private Practice as soon as I upload this. Are you excited?

However, I also realize that I really don’t have much room to complain. Though I miss the comforts of home, I have had such a smooth ride. Like, one of my friends has the flu (though she’s better now) and her boyfriend dumped her and she got evicted all in one week. Another of my friends paid 4,500 rupees ($100) for a hotel only to show up and find out that it closed down the night before. Then she got on a train to Chennai and the next day, she found out that her train had a BOMB on it. Yeah, a fucking bomb was on her fucking train. She read about it in the newspaper!

Can you fucking imagine?! Holy shit. Or my friend Emily has to live in this tiny little center in the middle of NOWHERE with no internet, barely any access to any cities, a four hour train ride to see her friends, and crazy monkeys that steal your shit for three whole months. OH MY GOD I’d go crazy. Granted, I still haven’t done anything here for my placement (WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY), but at least I’ve enjoyed my time and I’ve learned quite a bit and I’ve been able to adequately keep in touch with friends and family and keep myself entertained with malls and restaurants and movie theatres and internet cafes and shit. I guess I lost my cell phone…but that only cost $20 and I wasn’t even gonna keep it after I left India…so, win win? Or my other friend is now on her second trip to India, and on her first, she lost her passport. I don’t even…whatever.

If losing my cell is the worst thing that can happen to me in like 8 weeks, then I am just the luckiest mofo in this entire country, I swear. And the thing about the placement…it’s like, ok. Remember Viv and Joel? The hard-working, super-motivated social work students? Well they had been planning this seminar about human trafficking and child rights for this super annoying group of girls who came to stay at MCCSS for a week (yeah, a whole week of super annoying girls. It was really nice). They had been asked like 2 weeks in advance to prepare this 2 hour long program, where the girls would watch a documentary, then talk about it and talk about child rights violations in groups. It sounded awesome. Like, I probably would have learned more in that session than I did in most of the classes I took freshman year. It was supposed to be at 2 PM Sunday. On Friday, their boss pushed it back to 2 PM Monday. They show up at MCCSS at 10 to prepare and load the documentary on my laptop (because internet in India SUCKS and you have to load things in advance, and they had to go to an internet café because my USB modem is way slow and then the internet café people thought they were terrorists because they had to take the Ethernet cord out of the computer and connect it to my laptop), and then at 1:30 we all go up and the girls are watching Taken. Like, yeah, they’re just watching a fucking movie. It’s apparently gonna be over at 3. At 3, we set up and we go get the girls to come and take part, and the girls’ teacher tells Viv and Joel that a government official is coming by to ask the girls what they’ve learned and monitor the program. Yeah, there are like 700,000 people living in Slums in this country, and the government has time to check up on this shitty program. Why don’t they try to focus on, I don’t know, um, clean drinking water or something? ANYWAY so they’re like ‘can you do it at 6 tonight?’ but like, these girls are all like 14 and they’re listening to Taylor Swift and at 6 PM, they’re not gonna want to take part in a 2 hour program. But Joel and Viv go along with it. 6 PM comes, the internet fucks up and the movie they loaded before, doesn’t work! They can’t reload it because it will take hours (to load a 45 minute youtube video). So they just have to make due and have a discussion without any material to work off. They did awesomely, and I was way proud of them, but it was the most ridiculous, frustrating day…and I didn’t even have to do anything.

Anyway, EVERYTHING IS LIKE THAT IN INDIA. And this kind of thing happens every single day at MCCSS. It’s a miracle that they get anything done at all. Getting ANYWHERE takes, in the words of my friend Jasdeep, ‘a million fucking years.’ Seriously! It is impossible to get anywhere. Like my friends are all going on a trip this weekend to a temple like 3 hours away, and at first I was sad to not be able to go, but now I’m kind of ok with it, because I HATE going anywhere in this fucking country. My friend Kush spends an hour and half getting to work everyday! Everyday! And then back! WTF?! I’d kill someone. No, I’d kill everyone. He lives really far from the rest of us, and everytime we text him, it’s like ‘I’m on a bus. Now I’m on a train. Now I’m in an auto. Now I’m in a shared auto. Be there soon.’ Ugh! Just going out to eat is literally an adventure, every single time. I won’t miss that.

OH! Let’s talk about things I won’t miss about India:

1)Getting dirt in my eye when walking down the street
2)People staring, all the time, every single day, every place I go, for every second I’m there
3)Annoying auto drivers who want to charge me 4x the amount they charge locals
4)Having to take 3 or 4 modes of transportation to get anywhere
5)Akon playing on every speaker that isn’t really fucking annoying Tamil music
6)Men pissing on the side of the road…in broad daylight...on every road.
7)The pollution. Ya know people are like ‘India has so many new sights and sounds and smells.’? They should say ‘India has so many new sights and sound and lots of fucking pollution so it smells really terrible and you’ll probably want to vomit here and there.’ Honestly. I will be so grateful to be back in the US and not be surrounded by rotting garbage and festering bodily fluids. Iowa City may smell like alcohol for a good half the year, but it will be a very welcome change to the smells in India. That and the prettiness of it. I have truly forgotten how pretty Iowa City is. I will love being back there and just being able to sit on the grass…anywhere! At night even!
8)Literally being SOAKED in sweat, all day long.

This might make it sound like I hate India. It’s not true. I hate parts of India. I really do, and now that I’m comfortable here, I can admit that and not feel ethnocentric. I mean, I hate parts of the US too. I hate parts of Europe. But I also love India. It has been, well, life-changing. It really has. Europe wasn’t life-changing. I mean, I fucking love Europe and I would love to live ANYWHERE on that continent, for an extended period of time, whether it be Bosnia or Turkey or London or Paris or Ukraine, I just love Europe and I don’t think I will ever get sick of visiting it (and overall, my trips to Europe were better than my trips to India, and if I had to choose between my European memories or my Indian memories, I’d choose the European)…but it wasn’t life-changing. I never experienced culture shock, or had to deal with anything…difficult or challenging. I never really learned that much, either. Everyone was like 'as soon as you get abroad, your whole worldview changes.' and I was like 'ummm I feel the same, because this is the same.' Both of my Europe trips were just vacations. Fucking AMAZING vacations that I wouldn’t trade for anything, but that’s what they were. They were escapes. They were holidays. They were fun and free and wonderful.

India has been…well, work. It’s been frustrating and confusing and scary and insane and surprising and well worth the wait and amazing. But I learned more about the world and life in these 4 weeks than I ever have back home in a class. Funnily enough, I really thought that Eastern Europe was gonna be just like this. Scary and intense and crazy. It’s not. It’s the same as Western Europe. People are just a little bit darker in the south and things are cheaper. If you want to fucking see different, go to India. You’ll literally feel like you can travel anywhere. I am scared of going to Russia someday? Hell no. Am I scared to go to Romania or Turkey? Are you kidding? South America? Peace of cake. Thailand? My friends have all been to Bangkok and they said it’s like being back home, because there are Starbucks and McDonalds on every fucking corner (and after 4 weeks here, I am SO ready for that), and there's no point in even going there if you're looking for a cultural experience. After India, you’ll feel like a pro.

Hey, I may even graduate past the self-appointed title of Amateur Traveler.

OH MY GOSH should I change my blog to Professional Traveler??? Hmm...lol. So anyway, India was hard and crazy and exhausting, but it was amazing. I have made some wonderful friends (whom, even if I had gotten malaria and lost my passport and gotten mugged, would have made all of this worth it, because yeah, they're that cool), who I honestly plan on seeing again as soon as possible, and I also plan on returning someday...when that may be, I don’t know...but I know I’ll be able to hack it. And even if my placement sucked, the experience was totally worth it. I have no regrets. I love that I can say that about my life. I love life. To sum up my trip thus far, here’s a quote from one of my favorite movies: “I can’t help but be so grateful for every single second of my stupid little life.” Can anyone name that reference? I’ll love you even more if you can.

Random Thought: 29

Hello all,

Tonight I finally realized just how amazing this all really is. Yeah, I know, now that I only have a week left in this country, I realize how amazing it is. Like, I just realized that 10 years from now I will look back on this month in India and just shit. Like, I will never have an experience like this ever again. It’s so weird how I just go back and forth here. I’m constantly racing back and forth between ‘OHMANICANTWAITTOGOHOME’ and ‘UGGHIWANTTOSTAYHEREFOREVER’ in my head. It’s really a combination of things, I guess. Like, I’m so lucky to have met the people that I’ve gotten to know. Because really, I could totally be friends with all of these people back home. It’s not like ‘Oh, we’re both white, so…I guess we’ll hang out. I mean, you’re kind of funny sometimes…?’ It’s like, the friends I have made are all really awesome people, whom I have a blast with, and whom I would absolutely be friends with in the states, without hesitation. Furthermore, they make me look like an amateur (traveler! Ha). Like, they have all been, well, everywhere. I’m not even kidding. They’re all so much more continental than I, it makes me sad to just think about it. Devi? My friend from France? She speaks FIVE languages. And not like, ‘oh I kind of speak some chinese, because I took a class in it 7 years ago.’ Like, she can converse and laugh and relate to people in FIVE languages. I hate America! I just want to live in Europe. I mean, fuckin right when it comes to India, but seriously. Europe is homeboy.

OH! This is hilarious. For like the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going home and NOT obsessing about traveling. Because like, for the last two years really, travel has literally been all I ever thought about. I was preparing for Eurotrip I, then I wanted to go back to Europe, then I decided I also wanted to go to India and SE Asia, and then I had to actually plan it all, and seriously, I was just constantly buying travel books and skimming Amazon for backpacks and asking people for advice and joining sites like TravBuddy and Lonelyplanet.com and all this exhausting shit, and I realized that once I’m home, I’m not gonna be obsessed anymore! Ya know? Like, I should feel pretty fulfilled by October 23rd, and I should be able to wait at least like, a few months before I even think about planning something else….or so you’d think. The other night I got an email from the poli sci department and apparently the Department of State sends students overseas every summer to become fluent in a critical language….for free. Like, literally, they will pay for your airfare and room and board and everything, for 8 weeks in the summer. I skimmed thru the programs, and I was disappointed at first because for the Russian program, you need two years already (I only have 1), and for Chinese and Japanese you also need at least 2 (I have…zero lol). But then I went to Turkish…and you don’t need any. But I’ve already got a whole fuckin year. And I got an A in it! So, I’m totally looking into it.

I mean, right now, I don’t have any desire to plan a trip abroad in the near future, but I don’t want to miss out on anything because I’m tired lol. This isn’t until June, and like I said, COMPLETELY FREE. How is that even possible? I don’t know, but I honestly can’t think of a more exciting or strategically located place to live for 8 weeks than Istanbul…except maybe Paris. Or Azerbaijan. Should I go to Baku? You don’t need any experience in the language.

PS, why is it that all the international students at Iowa are from east Asia? You never meet Australians or South Asians or anything! And the only European international students I’ve met are grad students.

Anyway, I just got done playing Uno with a bunch of Indian kids, and let me tell you, even Uno is different here. Humanity is a messed up thing. It’s corny, and so obvious, but it’s just ridiculous how truly different things are in India. It’s just so messed up to even walk down the street. Like, on any given street, you will see a chic European café, beggars, homeless people asleep, stray dogs who probably have rabies, a Dominos pizza, a cell phone shop, an Indian restaurant I wouldn’t eat from for $1000, and then a cow. Then you’ll probably get hit by a car. Fucking crazy.

In other news, my placement has turned into such a joke. It’s like, this organization totally does a lot of great stuff. I realize this. There are so many success stories, it’s true. And I am totally satisfied with how much I have learned about, well, the real world problems of marginalized communities while here. Like in the human trafficking project, I learned about this girl who was lured into the world of prostitution by being offered an awesome job in Mumbai or something (the two ways that are the most common to lure someone into being trafficked are to either feign a love affair or promise a wonderful job opportunity), and then she was abducted and forced into a brothel. She lived there for two years before escaping. She met someone whom she thought could offer help, but was abducted AGAIN. Then like 5 years later, the cops raided the place and she was taken to MCCSS. From here, she was reunited with her family after like 6 months. Two months later her mother died.

I know. It’s so heartbreaking that shit like this even happens. And it happens everyday. And I’m so glad that I’m here to meet people who have had to deal with these actual problems, but I could have learned about these same things from watching a documentary. I really have done, like, nothing while here. On the one hand, I’ve realized that it’s stupid to try to volunteer in a program like this for only four weeks. You need to spend the entire first week just adjusting and there’s sightseeing and orientation and stuff. Then you need like a week just to become familiar with the ins and outs of the organization. Then, maybe you can make a difference. So, I definitely wouldn’t give MCCSS high marks in their utilizations of volunteers. But my friends, who are here to do other, completely different assignments, like working with disabled children in a craft center, or interning at a Law firm, have told me that they all are having very similar experiences. It’s like, in the Indian psyche to treat you as a guest, and not work you too hard.

Furthermore, there isn’t the infrastructure or codes of conduct that we’re used to in the west, with strict guidelines of what volunteers can and can’t do, confidentiality clauses, and widespread educational tools to weed out those who aren’t qualified to help out. Add to that the perpetual Indian attitudes of untimeliness, the language barrier and the exhausting heat, and it’s just like…the perfect recipe to not get anything done. It’s frustrating, because obviously everyone is here to help and get involved and be busy, but it seems like such an endemic problem that there’s nothing I can do about it.

Like, take for instance my Aussies. Joel and Viv are SO READY to work. They are constantly brain-storming, and are super experienced and qualified and they’re confident and motivated and they need to be here to graduate, so they need good experiences to reflect and report on. Like, as soon as they got here, they started planning this self-esteem workshop to teach the women in the short-stay home about self-esteem (I actually don’t know if the same concept exists in India). Three weeks later (today), they actually got to present it. It was REALLY awesome, and I got to help some children make a collage and it was a great experience, even for me. Imagine what the place could be like if my friends’ talents were actually put to use??

However, I will say that even though MCCSS is somewhat lacking, the NGO that brought me here, ELI, has been wonderful. I could not ask for more support or assistance, and this has been wonderful. So, if you’re interested in overseas volunteering, I’d definitely recommend ELI, but I would probably suggest other projects. They offer stuff all over the world. And PS, I will never, ever visit a place like India on my own ever again without the assistance of some kind of organization or tour company or local friend, because it is all too overwhelming to do on your own. At least for me, and I even have the guts to actually do all this. Like, if I didn't have an in-country contact upon arrival, I don't even know how I would have gotten to a hotel. Or if I would have ever left. But that's just me. I grew up in Iowa. I'm just glad I didn't have to learn this the hard way.

In news that’s not related at all, tonight I went to the fourth mall of my Indian excursion. I know, you can totally make fun of me. But it gets better...I had McDonalds (a big mac in India is the Big Maharaja). Don’t I suck? I also bought season 1 of Private Practice (Addison Montgomery = my life, even in Asia) and almost went to Baskin Robbins, but decided that the first time I get BR should probably be in the US. I just can’t help it….I crave consumerism!! Consumerism and capitalism and imperialism?? They’re my saviors. It’s terrible, but necessary.

OH! You’re gonna shit. I’ve decided to join choir next semester. I KNOW. It’s gonna be stupid and awesome at the same time. Much like most of this trip.

Love,
Josh A

Random Thought: 28

So,

I’m sorry that I’ve been quite flaky lately. It’s been much harder lately to motivate myself to write a blog entry. Ok, motivate’s a bad word. I mean, it’s harder to talk about my experiences and just form a coherent stream of thoughts that would be interesting to read, now that I’m actually used to this place. My life has become somewhat routine, and this quite nice, but it’s less exciting. However, I have had some really great experiences I would love to share with you. Furthermore, I’m constantly thinking about so many things, that I am so mentally exhausted most of the time. Add to that the fact that I still haven’t gotten on a regular sleep schedule and it’s about 95 degrees, and I’m also very physically exhausted.

So, I guess I’d say my great experiences can be divided into two categories: Cultural and funtimes. Haha. I mean, to be fair, every single fucking second in India is a cultural experience, so I’ve really been coming to appreciate the funtimes. This is why I don't feel about clinging to Western comforts. You HAVE to sometimes. I guess I’ve kind of formed a kind of make-shift little family/support system here with my fellow westerners who are also trying their best to adjust to this crazy new world. There are Vivian and Joel, two Australians who volunteer at MCCSS also. They’re just a riot, and I think they may secretly be in love. Then there are Kush and Jen, two Brits interning at a law firm in Chennai, who are here through the same program I am. Jen actually has this dickhead of a landlord, who EVICTED her because she wasn’t happy with him, so she’s moving into MCCSS. Kush’s family are Indian migrants, so we kind of have an in when haggling and such. Then there’s Emily, another Brit, also here through the same program, but who lives 4 hours away at this adorable craft center for disabled children, and she works with these two wonderful French girls named Devi and Nathalie. Then there are my new Danish loves, Korina, Tea and Shoba, plus we just initiated two Germans who are moving into MCCSS tomorrow.

Currently, me and most of the people I have just listed are in this small seaside town called Pondicherry for the weekend. It’s amazing, because it used to be a French colony, and all the streets are Rue de la blah blah blah, and crap. And you can get the MOST amazing food here. French baguettes, croissants, pastries, wonderful chocolates, and the café culture is the best you’ll find this side of the Ural mountains. It’s actually so nice that we decided to stay until Monday and just start work on Tuesday. Last night we went and bought a ton of booze and were totally obnoxious and played Ring of Fire all night long.

I also taught everyone how to play this game called Shit. I used to play it all the time in high school with my friends, and I thought my new makeshift family would enjoy it. It’s like uno, but with about 40 different stupid and confusing rules. You’re constantly messing up, and that’s part of the fun. Anyway, if you win, you get to make up a new rule. The French girls often spoke French, and Joel was like ‘If I win, I’m gonna rule that you can only speak English.’ Well, Devi won, so she made the rule that you could only speak French. This worked out better than expected, because everyone speaks French in some capacity, except for Joel. Then Vivian passed out and everyone drew all over her face. I know, we were like 14…but it was probably one of the funnest nights of my life. It might even be more memorable than the night that Jason and I got trashed in the Venetian hotel (‘Hotel Vienna’) owned by Chinese immigrants.

Or, you might be interested to know that Kush knows the actor who is playing Grindelwald in the upcoming HPmovies. He’s also in Sweeney Todd, and the Twilight movies. I know, somewhere, the Allens are crying.

Random other funny events have happened, but I guess I could share with you some cultural experiences too. For instance my Danish friend Korina has many Tamil friends, because she has already lived in Chennai for 3 months (and is now back for 6 weeks, and may come back to live for a year or something), so one night she invited me along to a friend’s house for dinner. This was a local, middle class house, and it was just wonderful to see an average, lived in household. I mean, I’ve seen some very poor households, and I tend to surround myself in pretty comfortable, western surrondings, so this was necessary. Anyway, in this house, everyone sleeps together in the living room, and there are only 3 rooms in the house. It’s India, of course, so everyone eats with their hands and on the floor.
Now, I suck at eating with my hands. I’ve tried like 3 times and it’s just pathetic. Everyone was laughing at me and I was like ‘What?! I’m trying here!’ and apparently you’re supposed to utilize your thumb as a kind of shovel, to move the food from your fingers to your mouth. So, that was an easy fix. Another thing you may not know about India is that people don’t use toilet paper. They actually think it’s disgusting. They use their left hand and water to clean down there. Now, I’m left-handed, which is a problem in India, because that’s the hand that should never be used for anything but dirty business.

Of course I never remember this. So, twice now, I’ve been caught eating with my left hand. The first time was last weekend, and this little girl who was probably 8 years old came up to me and just said ‘Right hand.’ And looked at me like I was a fucking dumbass. But this time, it was much nicer. With a coy smile, my hostess just asked ‘Are you left-handed?’ and I of course was instantly embarrassed and apoligzed, but they were the most gracious hosts imaginable. They were like ‘Do whatever’s comfortable! It’s ok! Use your left hand!’ They also offered me a spoon and fork, but I wasn’t gonna give up. So anyway we ate our food on the floor while listening to Evanescence and Michael Jackson videos on TV.

BTdubs, can I just say it’s RIDICULOUS how much more Michael Jackson is loved around the world than in the US?! Seriously, he was always on the radio in Europe, and anytime he came up, people only have wonderful things to say about him. It’s the same here in India! And all my European friends are just like ‘But he was acquitted! I love him!’ So weird. It makes me wonder what that says about American mindsets, since we’re so unforgiving.
Then, at the end of the night, I thanked them and they didn’t want us to leave at all, they actually wanted us to stay the night (or forever), but the most touching thing EVER happened. The matriarch of the family came to say goodbye, and first looked at her son. She said the tamil word for Son and pointed to him, then looked at me and upon touching my chin, said the same word again. She said I was her son!
Oh my gosh I almost cried. It’s amazing how wonderful people are in this country.

So right, a few days later, my Aussies were like ‘We’re going to this really awesome American place, you have to come.’ So I’m like ‘fuck yeah, I love my country’ So we go to this place called Sparky’s. Now, this is the most American place I’ve ever been to. It’s literally America themed. Everywhere you look, there are American license plates and kitsch and nostalgia. It was like TGI Fridays, but if the name was TGI America. Every table was dedicated to a state, and naturally, I was seated at the Texas table. There were all these postcards of Austin and such.
But THEN I was introduced to all the staff, because my Aussies go to this place like 4 times a week, and the staff is American, so naturally I’m like ‘ok let’s become best friends.’ So, yeah, just wait. This was our convo:

Them: So where are you from?
J: Chicago. You?
Them: Oh! We’re from Minneapolis.
J: Oh, duh. Sorry. I just lied. I’m so used to meeting foreigners, who have never heard of where I’m from so I just say Chicago. But I’m from Iowa.
Them: What?! We were born and raised in Iowa!
J: Realy?! Where?! (imagine me FREAKING OUT , almost screaming and laughing hysterically)
Them: Webster City and Sioux City. We met at school, we went to Iowa State.
J: HA I go to Iowa!
Them: Oh we were just there! Where’d you grow up?
J: Right around Iowa City, in this town called Tipton??
Them: We drove through that town on the way to Davnport!

I know. It was awesome and stupid and amazing. This couple literally just decided to move to India for a couple years. How wonderful. I keep meeting all these people who have made similar plans. So anyway the food was AWESOME , they had everything from hot wings to mashed potatoes to lasagna to tacos to hot fudge sundaes, and the funny thing was that my Danish friends also came and they brought the Indians whose house I went to!

The Indians had never had western food before, and had never even used a fork, and It was sooo adorbable because they were terrified of our food. Like, they were so scared and barely touchd their food, and I had to teach them how to cut their lasagna, and it was just so funny. They kept saying ‘This is gonna make me so sick! I’m gonna get sick!’ and it was just as ironic as could be. Anyway, at the end of dinner, they informed me that if I ever return to Chennai, I do not have to worry about accommodation, because I am more than welcome to stay at their house :) It’d be pretty uncomfortable to sleep on the floor with five other people, but I’d do it for at least one night!

OH! OH my god. Yesterday we all went to this town called Auroville outside Pondicherry. It’s this town where people migrate to from around the world (there are like 94 countries represented) to be hippies and live together and denounce religion and instead serve ‘The mother’, who founded their community in the 60s….in other words, IT WAS A HUGE CULT. It was literally the Dharma Initiative meets Scientology! I’m not even kidding. We had to watch this movie and it was JUST LIKE you’d imagine it. There were all these scrolling words over a backdrop of the universe and it was FUCKED UP but awesome and hilarious. There’s this big copper golf ball in the middle of the compound (and when I say big, I mean BIG. It’s like 10 stories) that they call their soul. They kept stressing that they only welcome people who are ‘serious and sincere’ so I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out. I wish I could say more about this place, but I literally just laughed nonstop for like 6 hours because the entire area was so ridiculous. And Don’t EVEN give me that shit about openmindedness or tolerance, because it was a fucking cult.

In other news, my placement sucks. It’s like…I don’t know, I mean, India is very different from the west in how actual work is done. Like, there is really hardly any sense of timeliness. If you plan to meet someone at 2:00, be ready to wait until 3:30, and that’s not considered rude or out of the ordinary. It’s like hanging out with John all the time. But it’s so strange how that’s the case at work, too! Not just in social situations. But anyway, it’s very hard to find work at my placement, because it’s all about independence. They’re all like ‘Well what do you want to do? You can do whatever you want!’ and I’m like I don’t fuckin know! I’m not a social worker! Just give me a task and I’ll do it. So, I’ve just latched myself onto my Aussie friends. They’re the biggest self-starters you’ll ever meet, so they’re constantly having seminars and giving presentations and organizing events and shit, so I literally was like ‘Umm can I be your personal assistant?’ and they’re like ‘oh my god no! It won’t be like that!’ and I’m like ‘PLEASE. Let it be like that. Please, I need direction.’ So, my current and probably only assignment is to create an hour long powerpoint about Global Warming for a seminar this week.

But yeah, I’m already on day 17. That means that tomorrow, my time in India will be 2/3 done. I cannot BELIEVE how quickly time has gone. I will honestly be very sad to leave this insane country and my wonderful new friends behind (they’re all making plans to travel together after I’m gone! Sad, and I introduced them all! This always happens to me lol), but I’m still very excited for Bangkok. Oh yeah, I’m going to fucking BANGKOK. I cant believe this is my life.

Oh and Twilight is on TV, even in India. Fuck.
- Josh

Introducing: Asia

Cracka

So, I’m gonna talk about being white. This is because since my arrival in India, I have learned a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘white privilege.’ You see, even though I am half white, and half latino, I still recognize and have always recognized that I am socioeconomically white. I look white, I identify with white culture, I don’t speak Spanish, I have an American accent, and I grew up in a household with an income very close to that of my peers’ parents. However, I do still consider myself ethnically of mixed heritage. I mean, it doesn’t matter if I consider myself to be Canadian, phenotypically speaking, you are what you are. I just mean that I will not shy away from my heritage. I am not exactly a leader in cultural exchange among my peers, but I do embrace and am proud of my Mexican American background (though I realize that my experience as a Mexican American is completely different from the experience of most other Mexican Americans, but maybe I’ll talk about this more later), as much as I am proud to be gay. I understand that I would not be the same person I am today or have the same outlook on the world if I were not of mixed heritage, specifically white and Mexican American, and gay. Sometimes, I wish I were a woman, or jewish (a Mexican jew!) just so I could have the complete package. I am left-handed though.

Right. So anyway, my ultimate point is that, even though I would usually be classified as an outsider looking in, I really feel as though I have spent most of my life as a part of the privileged masses. Growing up, neither my ethnicity nor sexual orientation were ever that big of a deal that I felt as though I was part of an oppressed minority. Growing up in Iowa has its perks, and I feel that I was extremely lucky to grow up there, for many reasons. I mean, Iowa is a progressive state. It may not be a liberal state, but I think most would agree that Iowa (and especially southeastern Iowa) is a progressive place, although there is definitely a small-town attitude in many ways.

This is something that definitely came through in the attitudes of the people I went to high school with. I feel, in general, that while most people in small-town southeastern Iowa may not exactly be world travellers or intellectually open-minded, they tend to view the different with a tinge of curiosity, rather than judgment. I mean, gossip still abounds and attention can be very annoying, but I will always defend the small town area that I grew up in as not being your typical rural environment. I mean, remember how Solon’s choir director came out as gay to his entire choir and it was totally cool and they all still loved him? And remember how we had teachers like Mr. Wilkins and Mrs. Cary and Mrs. B who would just take off time from school or spend their summers going on trips to Africa and China and Europe? Or how there were minorities like Susan or myself or Patrick at Tipton, but I never once witnessed that being a problem?

Being gay had its downside sometimes, but I will still admit that I never lost a friend over the fact that I was attracted to boys. If anything, I changed the attitudes of many friends. I actually changed Winston’s attitudes so much that when he was supposed to write a paper about one person who has changed his life for the better, he chose me (I have it! Winston so could not write formally in tenth grade, it’s hilarious. But the actual assignment is so sweet)! And there were lots of people who weren’t even my friends, but stuck up for my right to be gay to people they didn’t have to. I had teachers who would call out their students for saying things like ‘that’s gay’ and I know that more than once, in a class discussion here or there, people would randomly just wax poetic about their support for gay rights. I don’t know if this was just to let me know they were on my side or because they wanted everyone to know how they felt, but I couldn’t help but be really grateful to be surrounded by these people.

To be fair, there was always gossip, but I don’t give a fuck about that. I never have. I was never held back from scholarships or esteemed positions at my school. I was still in NHS and somehow elected to Homecoming Court (still SO funny, I don’t even know how this happened) and was VP of Concert Choir and won scholarships, and when I go back to visit Tipton, it’s never even an issue. And I mean, everyone knows it too. It’s not like oh they just don’t know. I remember Mrs. Johnson even knowing senior year, and people telling me that their parents would be like ‘So…why doesn’t Josh have a girlfriend?’ in really obvious tones and shit. But it’s like, when I go back, people are so friendly to me and I’m always so amazed at how welcome I still feel in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere. And all these weird little like, 16 year olds still add me to facebook, and I have no idea why, but at least the fact that I’m probably just ‘that gay guy who graduated awhile ago’ doesn’t deter them from adding me.

And honestly, I will always be thankful for this. I could have grown up in Texas, surrounded by anti-gay policies and attitudes, or in Utah or something with the crazy Mormons and been the next Matthew Shepard, or even in southwest Iowa, where I’ve heard being a democrat is on par with supporting child molestation. Currently, I could even marry a man in Iowa! WTF right?!

SO ANYWAY again, my point: I have been extremely lucky to always feel as though I was a culturally, economically and in all-but-name-only part of the privileged majority, rather than the oppressed minority. My vantage point has always been from an American viewpoint though. Now, I’m in India.

Yeah. So, right. It’s like, ok. So I really feel that in the US, if someone from Africa or India or South America (or really anywhere that’s not western Europe) were to come to the US, they would probably be viewed with a lot of negative attitudes by quite a few people. Like, if a Kenyan tourist were to walk into Chanel, people would probably keep an eye on him. I don’t think that this is that ridiculous of an assumption, for many places in the US. Or like, if an American were walking down the street and they met someone wearing a traditional, Indian outfit, they would be likely to wonder why this person is in their country, but probably wouldn’t feel the need to engage them in conversation or invite them into their home. If they did, it’d probably like ‘Umm….this is weird.’ Right? And the same would be true for someone from Europe or Australia, but I feel like if someone was of a darker complexion or of an eastern descent, one would even less likely to embrace their presence. Overall, I feel Americans would probably be thinking that this person was extremely lucky to be able to visit our rich, free, democratic country, and that wherever they live probably isn’t as nice or privileged or even wonder if they’re a refugee, without really any reason to assume that they’re from a war-torn country. And this goes beyond race, but to every minority group. Like, if the average American saw a transgendered person walking down the street, the first reaction would probably be ‘hmm this is so fucking weird’ not compassion or interest. I feel like I could make similar arguments with Mormans (hello, me), homeless people, maybe even amputees or anyone really who doesn’t fit this model that we construct of what normal is.

This is because we as Americans grow up in this kind of bubble. Like, we are the most powerful country in the world, and we define the world order, culturally, economically, politically, etc etc. Our pop music is the world’s pop music, our politicians are world politicians. We control the oil market and churn out the leading scientists and academics, and the list goes on and on, but in every way, as I said in an earlier post, we are in the ‘American age.’ So, we don’t have to know what’s going on in the middle east or what the Basque separatist group is fighting for or what the capital of Hungary is because we are so privileged that none of it really matters to our well-being. We as a state will always be safe and secure, and have access to oil and water and electricity, and our economy most likely will never collapse, and we will always continue to pursue a foreign policy of US Interest, first and foremost. Though things like 9/11 happen, they really still serve to increase our global power and domination.

Coming to a country like India has very much proven to me how this is so true. It’s so jarring to walk down the street here, because there is garbage EVERYWHERE, but I also realize that is only because of western imperialism. We spread capitalism, and other countries need or want to catch up, but states like India lack the infrastructure to do so as gracefully as Western Europe. So, they still consume and they still want to make more money, but there’s no system to deal with all the waste this creates. There’s no welfare system to take care of the elderly, who don’t quite understand the effects of globalization or why their culture is slowly but surely eroding as Dominos and Pizza Huts pop up along the most wealthy avenues.
As a white person in India, I am now witness to many far-flung effects of the current world order (which, for a lack of a better phrase, puts the white, rich countries, starting first and foremost with the US, at the top). Due to the colonial history of India, I actually expected to perhaps be met with some hostility. However, I soon learned that nothing could be further from the truth. I may have mentioned this before, but Indians treat white people as though we are foreign diplomats. Elderly women (yes, elderly women) will get up on the bus so that a white person may have their seat. As my Danish friends ran to catch a train, it literally stopped in its tracks so they could get on, and people did not hesitate to tell them that this would not have happened if their skin was dark.

I think that occurrences like these may be somewhat expected or unsurprising for someone who is educated or well traveled, but today I found out something very interesting about my placement. You see, I haven’t really done much yet as a volunteer. In essence, I’ve just been introduced to a lot of people and shown around. A lot. Though I knew that only being here for four weeks wouldn’t exactly give me the opportunity to change the world, this has still been frustrating. However, after speaking with someone who has volunteered here for many months, I learned something very illuminating.

You see, my friend’s theory is this. Since I am white, I am able to influence others in ways that I can’t even imagine. Like, the simple fact that I am here is enough to make MCCSS (where I am staying) want to parade me around. Showing off the fact that a white person has given up their time and money to visit India and volunteer with them gives them clout. Though I may not actually do very much in my time here, perhaps I’ll inadvertently persuade someone to donate money to this organization.

Or another thing. I have been told many times that hopefully, I will get the chance to speak with the people who this organization works for. Like, they would love it very much if I could talk with the sex workers or homeless children or whoever and just interact with them. At first, this seemed strange. Like, why the fuck would someone who has real problems and issues, like hmmm do I have HIV? Hmmm should try to find somewhere to live or a job even though I’m only 12, want to speak with me? To me, it seems like it’d be very insensitive to just go up to these sex workers, who might have AIDS, and start asking them all these questions about their sex life and whether their pimp abuses them and if they know what condoms are. Ya know? Like, I don’t want to come off as someone who looks at these poor people as freaks or a spectacle. I am perfectly happy with communicating with them and getting to know these people, but I don’t feel the need to interview them or give them advice, because I don’t know one fucking thing about their life or situation and I respect them enough to let them be. I didn’t come here to talk with people. I came here to give my time to an organization. Whether that meant painting a wall, cleaning a desk, filing paperwork, running errands, or helping them spread the word about a self-help group, it didn’t matter. But I didn’t come to be…I dunno, an insensitive westerner.

But, that’s not how the professionals I work for see it. My friend explained it to me pretty simply. Because I’m white, I have clout. People are likely to listen to me, because I’m white. People want to talk with me, because I’m white. People have a sense of respect for me, because I’m white. At first, this didn’t make sense, but when I thought about it, it made total sense. Remember the elderly women on the bus? That’s nothing. What about the random people walking down the street who stop me and ask if we can take a picture together? What about the school children I visited the other night, who could not stop coming up to me and asking ‘Hello how are you?’ and wanting to know my name and hold my hand and just smile at me?

We, as westerners, are powerful. I, as a white westerner, am very powerful. It’s just ridiculously fascinating, because now that I’m in India, I have a whole different outlook on race and the world. I mean, I’ve known for quite some time now how lucky I am to be named Josh Anderson, not Jose Sandoval, and I’ve often wondered why it was that my mother didn’t choose a more ethnic name. Perhaps she did this on purpose, perhaps she didn’t. I’ve also known how lucky I am to look very white, and grow up in a white community. Though I definitely missed out on the obvious cultural experiences that a less homogenous area would provide, all of these things have come together to create a recipe in which my life has been a piece of cake, virtually free of prejudice or discrimination, and accepted by the privileged majority. But this is all within America. This all has to do with my experiences within the the boundaries of the 50 state. Here I am in India, where I’m very much in the minority ethnically, and I’m perhaps even more privileged than I’ve ever known. I hope this is as interesting to you guys as it is to me, and I would honestly love to hear about anyone's experiences travelling abroad when it comes to this topic.

I shall think about this more, and perhaps post an afterthought or two.