Goodbye India, It's been a Blast

Why hello,

The last week has been so emotional. I have completely fallen in love with India. Well, not really India, but the people I have met and the experiences I have had. And I've been dealing with other things. I very much have enjoyed getting to know the people of this country, and I realize that even though four weeks is hardly enough to truly take it all in, it’s been wonderful and I am so glad I FINALLY have a taste of what this region is like. It’s just like, this place is totally a picture book of the world. There is western extravagance, extreme poverty, every religion, oppression, eastern tradition, everything. And the people I have met have just been…life-changing.

The first couple of weeks, I hung out with some friends who, though they were very kind and wonderful, somewhat idealized this country. Though the locals are 95% generous and open and kind, there are of course weirdos and assholes everywhere. Whenever something strange or aggressive happened, these wonderful girls would be like ‘It’s India! There’s no reason for it! It just happens and you get used to it.’ And I’d be like ‘ugh. Do you really have to just deal with it?’ I didn’t want to complain or be negative or culturally insensitive. However, over the past couple of weeks, I have hung out with some other friends, who are quite the opposite. Because of them, I’ve learned that it’s ok to be like ‘Ok this fucking sucks and I hate India’ when you walk out into a market and there are literally 1000 people within 20 feet in every direction, and it’s impossible to move without touching dozens of people or getting pushed. It’s ok to ask someone why they won’t stop staring, or tell them to get out of your face, or that their offer is ridiculous.

Having this attitude has really just…made things easier…and even though I’m extremely nervous to go to Bangkok (I’m so tired of being nervous), this makes it a little better. Like, I feel much more prepared to live in a city soemday, or travel really anywhere now. And I guess I’ll have my first test in 2 days.

HOLY SHIT HOW IS IT OCTOBER 6TH?! I don’t even know. Time is ridic. Though my first week or so just drug on endlessly, the rest of my time absolutely flew by. I’m literally leaving for the airport in a little over 24 hours, and in 48 hours I’ll be in Bangkok at my hotel. In about a week, I’ll be in Bali with Jackie. In 2 and a half weeks, I’ll be home. Home. That’s INSANE. I’m honestly really nervous to go home too. I mean, if and when I walk through the doors of the Arrivals hall in Chicago, I know I will breathe a sigh of relief. And then I’ll probably start crying because I haven’t slept in 24 hours, but it should be a nice feeling. But then what? Things won’t go back to the way they were. People might be different. Though I know that nothing as amazing as this trip can last, and I still won’t regret cutting my tip short, I will really miss everything about this trip…especially India.

I guess I really didn’t see myself making actual friends in India. I hoped I’d meet people and have others to pass the time with, but I really, truly lucked out. I’ve honestly even picked up British and Aussie slang. Today we were at the mall, and instead of asking ‘Are we supposed to go this way?’ I heard myself say ‘Are we meant to go this way?’ and I’ve also discovered that Brits and Aussies have this way of talking that’s completely different than the US. Like, when Americans say a declarative sentence, we tend to lower the pitch of our voice at the end of the sentence. When Brits do the same, they tend to keep their pitch the same…or even raise it. I didn’t notice this, until I noticed myself doing it. I was telling a story and I noticed I was speaking completely differently than I ever have before. And now I’ve been doing it more and more…and this is only after two weeks of hanging out with these guys.

Haha, so much for picking up Indian culture. I don’t know, the biggest Indian thing I can think of is the Head Wobble. And I don't fuckin want it b/c it's annoying. If you’ve never been to India, you probably have no idea what that it is. Even I, someone who has a huge interest in India and has taken 2 classes about it and has met many Indians, had no idea what I was doing upon arrival. See, Indians don’t really nod their head. Or shake it really, either. They do this wobble. They wobble their head back and forth. It means yes. And no. And sure why not. And I guess. And you’re welcome. Literally, you never have any fucking idea what they’re saying.

I didn’t pick it up. But my friend did.

Interestingly enough, the other night I met someone who actually doesn’t do the wobble. She’s this girl named Tivoli. She’s like, an American stuck in an Indian’s body. It’s crazy. She’s totally westernized…even though she’s never been to the west. She wears blue jeans and t-shirts (almost never dresses traditionally), watches American TV (she LOVES 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother and Grey’s Anatomy and the Big Bang Theory), and she wants to move to the US next year. She has a boyfriend (in other words, she’s not waiting around for an arranged marriage) and when she met me, she was like ‘So have you been to any clubs in Chennai?’ and I was like ‘What clubs?’ and she was like, really honestly disappointed that I hadn’t experienced this western, crazy side to Chennai. That like, all I had seen was the poverty and traditional, cultural side. It was crazy. Because like, I almost felt as though she was kind of embarrassed for her country. Like, not necessarily embarrassed, but as someone who relates to western culture, she wanted me to see the wealthy, excessive side, because it’s almost better, per se. She was also super nice and I absolutely loved her…but it was crazy.

Like, she even told my friends Viv and Joel (whom I met her through) that she at time feels like an outsider in her own culture…and Viv and Joel both were like ‘Tivoli, we love you, we have had so much fun with you!’ and she was like ‘You tourists always say it’s fun, but then you leave and it’s back to reality for me.’ Or something like that. Isn’t that sad? I hope she gets to the US someday…but it makes me wonder how she’ll find it. Like, nothing is ever at it seems, ya know? Especially the US. Every region and city has its own distinct flavor. Travel from Texas to Lousiana to Florida to North Carolina to New York to Indiana to Utah to California to Alaska to Hawaii and you will find ridiculous amounts of diversity….in every way….and no TV show or postcard or fastfood joint can really do the country justice.

This whole thing kind of reminds me of illegal immigrants in the US. Like, I remember one day I was reading postsecret and one secret said ‘I was born in Mexico, but my parents brought me to California as an infant. I am not American, but I do not consider myself Mexican. I have no identity.’ It was so sad! And I think very common, but most people probably will never meet these people…not that I’m comparing Tivoli, who is super smart and funny and outgoing and seemingly has a great life, to this sad illegal immigrant story, but it reminded me of that.
So anyway, yeah. Life’s great. I love life. It’s like, I’m so fucking high on life…that I love everything. I’m really gonna miss my friends from India…but nothing gold can stay. Most of them will also be out of Chennai within the next couple of weeks, I’m simply the first to start the gradual dissipation of the group. It’s weird how you can latch onto new realities so quickly, even if you know they’re temporary. Like the other night Viv stayed the night in my room with me and we just talked all night…and I felt as though I could do that forever. It felt like home, and I felt at home. Or sitting around talking with Jas and Jen about how fucking annoying auto drivers are has given me some of the funniest moments of my entire life to laugh at…and in many ways, I would love to stay here for years just shooting the shit…like, I have fully adapted to this new, crazy, eventful, stressful place called India, and I have really built up this little makeshift family, and I love all my new friends, very very much. But, I am ready to get home. The thought of getting home is fully exhilarating. Like, I am nervous and anxious and excited and looking forward to it, and I really miss so many things I never thought I would.

I miss Thursday TV nights. I miss going to Panera. I miss playing games with Jessica. I miss driving to the mall (stupid, lame, same ol’ same ol’ Coral Ridge Mall, where I’ve gone my entire life to get clothes lol). I miss making sandwiches. I miss ordering pizza (though we did get Domino’s to deliver the other night and it was fucking GREAT). I miss my MacBook. I miss going to ITCs to print stuff. I miss fountain pop (OH MY GOD I MISS FOUNTAIN POP). And of course, I miss going to Kum ‘n Go to get said fountain pop. I miss browsing through E, TV Land, CNN, TBS, and whatever movie channels my parents have ordered this weekend. I really, really miss going to class and being a student. I miss going to movies (recently released movies that aren’t in 3D). I miss Netflix. I miss working out. A lot (I actually am really, really looking forward to going to the gym as soon as I get a place). I miss having my own place! I miss having poster and photos and seeing all my DVDs in a row on the shelf like a nice little DVD family. I miss going to Elkader for the weekend. I miss my mom. I miss American body language. I miss jeans. I miss having a wardrobe I enjoy (I never realized how important clothing is to my personal comfort). I miss having different shoes to wear. I miss American radio (even though every café and mall here is just full of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and especially Akon). But I mean the actual radio. Like, sitting in Jason’s car and flipping between B100 and 102.9. I miss working. I miss Buffy and Lost and Angel. And of course, I miss watching the Anatomy with Jason. I actually just miss Jason, and all the different things we do together…even though, like 75% of the things I listed were really only things I do with Jason. I also miss Jessica, and the Allens. I miss everyone, really. Everyone better still have my fucking postcards because I’m gonna check.

Oh, speaking of the Anatomy, I’m gonna start Private Practice as soon as I upload this. Are you excited?

However, I also realize that I really don’t have much room to complain. Though I miss the comforts of home, I have had such a smooth ride. Like, one of my friends has the flu (though she’s better now) and her boyfriend dumped her and she got evicted all in one week. Another of my friends paid 4,500 rupees ($100) for a hotel only to show up and find out that it closed down the night before. Then she got on a train to Chennai and the next day, she found out that her train had a BOMB on it. Yeah, a fucking bomb was on her fucking train. She read about it in the newspaper!

Can you fucking imagine?! Holy shit. Or my friend Emily has to live in this tiny little center in the middle of NOWHERE with no internet, barely any access to any cities, a four hour train ride to see her friends, and crazy monkeys that steal your shit for three whole months. OH MY GOD I’d go crazy. Granted, I still haven’t done anything here for my placement (WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY), but at least I’ve enjoyed my time and I’ve learned quite a bit and I’ve been able to adequately keep in touch with friends and family and keep myself entertained with malls and restaurants and movie theatres and internet cafes and shit. I guess I lost my cell phone…but that only cost $20 and I wasn’t even gonna keep it after I left India…so, win win? Or my other friend is now on her second trip to India, and on her first, she lost her passport. I don’t even…whatever.

If losing my cell is the worst thing that can happen to me in like 8 weeks, then I am just the luckiest mofo in this entire country, I swear. And the thing about the placement…it’s like, ok. Remember Viv and Joel? The hard-working, super-motivated social work students? Well they had been planning this seminar about human trafficking and child rights for this super annoying group of girls who came to stay at MCCSS for a week (yeah, a whole week of super annoying girls. It was really nice). They had been asked like 2 weeks in advance to prepare this 2 hour long program, where the girls would watch a documentary, then talk about it and talk about child rights violations in groups. It sounded awesome. Like, I probably would have learned more in that session than I did in most of the classes I took freshman year. It was supposed to be at 2 PM Sunday. On Friday, their boss pushed it back to 2 PM Monday. They show up at MCCSS at 10 to prepare and load the documentary on my laptop (because internet in India SUCKS and you have to load things in advance, and they had to go to an internet café because my USB modem is way slow and then the internet café people thought they were terrorists because they had to take the Ethernet cord out of the computer and connect it to my laptop), and then at 1:30 we all go up and the girls are watching Taken. Like, yeah, they’re just watching a fucking movie. It’s apparently gonna be over at 3. At 3, we set up and we go get the girls to come and take part, and the girls’ teacher tells Viv and Joel that a government official is coming by to ask the girls what they’ve learned and monitor the program. Yeah, there are like 700,000 people living in Slums in this country, and the government has time to check up on this shitty program. Why don’t they try to focus on, I don’t know, um, clean drinking water or something? ANYWAY so they’re like ‘can you do it at 6 tonight?’ but like, these girls are all like 14 and they’re listening to Taylor Swift and at 6 PM, they’re not gonna want to take part in a 2 hour program. But Joel and Viv go along with it. 6 PM comes, the internet fucks up and the movie they loaded before, doesn’t work! They can’t reload it because it will take hours (to load a 45 minute youtube video). So they just have to make due and have a discussion without any material to work off. They did awesomely, and I was way proud of them, but it was the most ridiculous, frustrating day…and I didn’t even have to do anything.

Anyway, EVERYTHING IS LIKE THAT IN INDIA. And this kind of thing happens every single day at MCCSS. It’s a miracle that they get anything done at all. Getting ANYWHERE takes, in the words of my friend Jasdeep, ‘a million fucking years.’ Seriously! It is impossible to get anywhere. Like my friends are all going on a trip this weekend to a temple like 3 hours away, and at first I was sad to not be able to go, but now I’m kind of ok with it, because I HATE going anywhere in this fucking country. My friend Kush spends an hour and half getting to work everyday! Everyday! And then back! WTF?! I’d kill someone. No, I’d kill everyone. He lives really far from the rest of us, and everytime we text him, it’s like ‘I’m on a bus. Now I’m on a train. Now I’m in an auto. Now I’m in a shared auto. Be there soon.’ Ugh! Just going out to eat is literally an adventure, every single time. I won’t miss that.

OH! Let’s talk about things I won’t miss about India:

1)Getting dirt in my eye when walking down the street
2)People staring, all the time, every single day, every place I go, for every second I’m there
3)Annoying auto drivers who want to charge me 4x the amount they charge locals
4)Having to take 3 or 4 modes of transportation to get anywhere
5)Akon playing on every speaker that isn’t really fucking annoying Tamil music
6)Men pissing on the side of the road…in broad daylight...on every road.
7)The pollution. Ya know people are like ‘India has so many new sights and sounds and smells.’? They should say ‘India has so many new sights and sound and lots of fucking pollution so it smells really terrible and you’ll probably want to vomit here and there.’ Honestly. I will be so grateful to be back in the US and not be surrounded by rotting garbage and festering bodily fluids. Iowa City may smell like alcohol for a good half the year, but it will be a very welcome change to the smells in India. That and the prettiness of it. I have truly forgotten how pretty Iowa City is. I will love being back there and just being able to sit on the grass…anywhere! At night even!
8)Literally being SOAKED in sweat, all day long.

This might make it sound like I hate India. It’s not true. I hate parts of India. I really do, and now that I’m comfortable here, I can admit that and not feel ethnocentric. I mean, I hate parts of the US too. I hate parts of Europe. But I also love India. It has been, well, life-changing. It really has. Europe wasn’t life-changing. I mean, I fucking love Europe and I would love to live ANYWHERE on that continent, for an extended period of time, whether it be Bosnia or Turkey or London or Paris or Ukraine, I just love Europe and I don’t think I will ever get sick of visiting it (and overall, my trips to Europe were better than my trips to India, and if I had to choose between my European memories or my Indian memories, I’d choose the European)…but it wasn’t life-changing. I never experienced culture shock, or had to deal with anything…difficult or challenging. I never really learned that much, either. Everyone was like 'as soon as you get abroad, your whole worldview changes.' and I was like 'ummm I feel the same, because this is the same.' Both of my Europe trips were just vacations. Fucking AMAZING vacations that I wouldn’t trade for anything, but that’s what they were. They were escapes. They were holidays. They were fun and free and wonderful.

India has been…well, work. It’s been frustrating and confusing and scary and insane and surprising and well worth the wait and amazing. But I learned more about the world and life in these 4 weeks than I ever have back home in a class. Funnily enough, I really thought that Eastern Europe was gonna be just like this. Scary and intense and crazy. It’s not. It’s the same as Western Europe. People are just a little bit darker in the south and things are cheaper. If you want to fucking see different, go to India. You’ll literally feel like you can travel anywhere. I am scared of going to Russia someday? Hell no. Am I scared to go to Romania or Turkey? Are you kidding? South America? Peace of cake. Thailand? My friends have all been to Bangkok and they said it’s like being back home, because there are Starbucks and McDonalds on every fucking corner (and after 4 weeks here, I am SO ready for that), and there's no point in even going there if you're looking for a cultural experience. After India, you’ll feel like a pro.

Hey, I may even graduate past the self-appointed title of Amateur Traveler.

OH MY GOSH should I change my blog to Professional Traveler??? Hmm...lol. So anyway, India was hard and crazy and exhausting, but it was amazing. I have made some wonderful friends (whom, even if I had gotten malaria and lost my passport and gotten mugged, would have made all of this worth it, because yeah, they're that cool), who I honestly plan on seeing again as soon as possible, and I also plan on returning someday...when that may be, I don’t know...but I know I’ll be able to hack it. And even if my placement sucked, the experience was totally worth it. I have no regrets. I love that I can say that about my life. I love life. To sum up my trip thus far, here’s a quote from one of my favorite movies: “I can’t help but be so grateful for every single second of my stupid little life.” Can anyone name that reference? I’ll love you even more if you can.