Random Thought: 28

So,

I’m sorry that I’ve been quite flaky lately. It’s been much harder lately to motivate myself to write a blog entry. Ok, motivate’s a bad word. I mean, it’s harder to talk about my experiences and just form a coherent stream of thoughts that would be interesting to read, now that I’m actually used to this place. My life has become somewhat routine, and this quite nice, but it’s less exciting. However, I have had some really great experiences I would love to share with you. Furthermore, I’m constantly thinking about so many things, that I am so mentally exhausted most of the time. Add to that the fact that I still haven’t gotten on a regular sleep schedule and it’s about 95 degrees, and I’m also very physically exhausted.

So, I guess I’d say my great experiences can be divided into two categories: Cultural and funtimes. Haha. I mean, to be fair, every single fucking second in India is a cultural experience, so I’ve really been coming to appreciate the funtimes. This is why I don't feel about clinging to Western comforts. You HAVE to sometimes. I guess I’ve kind of formed a kind of make-shift little family/support system here with my fellow westerners who are also trying their best to adjust to this crazy new world. There are Vivian and Joel, two Australians who volunteer at MCCSS also. They’re just a riot, and I think they may secretly be in love. Then there are Kush and Jen, two Brits interning at a law firm in Chennai, who are here through the same program I am. Jen actually has this dickhead of a landlord, who EVICTED her because she wasn’t happy with him, so she’s moving into MCCSS. Kush’s family are Indian migrants, so we kind of have an in when haggling and such. Then there’s Emily, another Brit, also here through the same program, but who lives 4 hours away at this adorable craft center for disabled children, and she works with these two wonderful French girls named Devi and Nathalie. Then there are my new Danish loves, Korina, Tea and Shoba, plus we just initiated two Germans who are moving into MCCSS tomorrow.

Currently, me and most of the people I have just listed are in this small seaside town called Pondicherry for the weekend. It’s amazing, because it used to be a French colony, and all the streets are Rue de la blah blah blah, and crap. And you can get the MOST amazing food here. French baguettes, croissants, pastries, wonderful chocolates, and the café culture is the best you’ll find this side of the Ural mountains. It’s actually so nice that we decided to stay until Monday and just start work on Tuesday. Last night we went and bought a ton of booze and were totally obnoxious and played Ring of Fire all night long.

I also taught everyone how to play this game called Shit. I used to play it all the time in high school with my friends, and I thought my new makeshift family would enjoy it. It’s like uno, but with about 40 different stupid and confusing rules. You’re constantly messing up, and that’s part of the fun. Anyway, if you win, you get to make up a new rule. The French girls often spoke French, and Joel was like ‘If I win, I’m gonna rule that you can only speak English.’ Well, Devi won, so she made the rule that you could only speak French. This worked out better than expected, because everyone speaks French in some capacity, except for Joel. Then Vivian passed out and everyone drew all over her face. I know, we were like 14…but it was probably one of the funnest nights of my life. It might even be more memorable than the night that Jason and I got trashed in the Venetian hotel (‘Hotel Vienna’) owned by Chinese immigrants.

Or, you might be interested to know that Kush knows the actor who is playing Grindelwald in the upcoming HPmovies. He’s also in Sweeney Todd, and the Twilight movies. I know, somewhere, the Allens are crying.

Random other funny events have happened, but I guess I could share with you some cultural experiences too. For instance my Danish friend Korina has many Tamil friends, because she has already lived in Chennai for 3 months (and is now back for 6 weeks, and may come back to live for a year or something), so one night she invited me along to a friend’s house for dinner. This was a local, middle class house, and it was just wonderful to see an average, lived in household. I mean, I’ve seen some very poor households, and I tend to surround myself in pretty comfortable, western surrondings, so this was necessary. Anyway, in this house, everyone sleeps together in the living room, and there are only 3 rooms in the house. It’s India, of course, so everyone eats with their hands and on the floor.
Now, I suck at eating with my hands. I’ve tried like 3 times and it’s just pathetic. Everyone was laughing at me and I was like ‘What?! I’m trying here!’ and apparently you’re supposed to utilize your thumb as a kind of shovel, to move the food from your fingers to your mouth. So, that was an easy fix. Another thing you may not know about India is that people don’t use toilet paper. They actually think it’s disgusting. They use their left hand and water to clean down there. Now, I’m left-handed, which is a problem in India, because that’s the hand that should never be used for anything but dirty business.

Of course I never remember this. So, twice now, I’ve been caught eating with my left hand. The first time was last weekend, and this little girl who was probably 8 years old came up to me and just said ‘Right hand.’ And looked at me like I was a fucking dumbass. But this time, it was much nicer. With a coy smile, my hostess just asked ‘Are you left-handed?’ and I of course was instantly embarrassed and apoligzed, but they were the most gracious hosts imaginable. They were like ‘Do whatever’s comfortable! It’s ok! Use your left hand!’ They also offered me a spoon and fork, but I wasn’t gonna give up. So anyway we ate our food on the floor while listening to Evanescence and Michael Jackson videos on TV.

BTdubs, can I just say it’s RIDICULOUS how much more Michael Jackson is loved around the world than in the US?! Seriously, he was always on the radio in Europe, and anytime he came up, people only have wonderful things to say about him. It’s the same here in India! And all my European friends are just like ‘But he was acquitted! I love him!’ So weird. It makes me wonder what that says about American mindsets, since we’re so unforgiving.
Then, at the end of the night, I thanked them and they didn’t want us to leave at all, they actually wanted us to stay the night (or forever), but the most touching thing EVER happened. The matriarch of the family came to say goodbye, and first looked at her son. She said the tamil word for Son and pointed to him, then looked at me and upon touching my chin, said the same word again. She said I was her son!
Oh my gosh I almost cried. It’s amazing how wonderful people are in this country.

So right, a few days later, my Aussies were like ‘We’re going to this really awesome American place, you have to come.’ So I’m like ‘fuck yeah, I love my country’ So we go to this place called Sparky’s. Now, this is the most American place I’ve ever been to. It’s literally America themed. Everywhere you look, there are American license plates and kitsch and nostalgia. It was like TGI Fridays, but if the name was TGI America. Every table was dedicated to a state, and naturally, I was seated at the Texas table. There were all these postcards of Austin and such.
But THEN I was introduced to all the staff, because my Aussies go to this place like 4 times a week, and the staff is American, so naturally I’m like ‘ok let’s become best friends.’ So, yeah, just wait. This was our convo:

Them: So where are you from?
J: Chicago. You?
Them: Oh! We’re from Minneapolis.
J: Oh, duh. Sorry. I just lied. I’m so used to meeting foreigners, who have never heard of where I’m from so I just say Chicago. But I’m from Iowa.
Them: What?! We were born and raised in Iowa!
J: Realy?! Where?! (imagine me FREAKING OUT , almost screaming and laughing hysterically)
Them: Webster City and Sioux City. We met at school, we went to Iowa State.
J: HA I go to Iowa!
Them: Oh we were just there! Where’d you grow up?
J: Right around Iowa City, in this town called Tipton??
Them: We drove through that town on the way to Davnport!

I know. It was awesome and stupid and amazing. This couple literally just decided to move to India for a couple years. How wonderful. I keep meeting all these people who have made similar plans. So anyway the food was AWESOME , they had everything from hot wings to mashed potatoes to lasagna to tacos to hot fudge sundaes, and the funny thing was that my Danish friends also came and they brought the Indians whose house I went to!

The Indians had never had western food before, and had never even used a fork, and It was sooo adorbable because they were terrified of our food. Like, they were so scared and barely touchd their food, and I had to teach them how to cut their lasagna, and it was just so funny. They kept saying ‘This is gonna make me so sick! I’m gonna get sick!’ and it was just as ironic as could be. Anyway, at the end of dinner, they informed me that if I ever return to Chennai, I do not have to worry about accommodation, because I am more than welcome to stay at their house :) It’d be pretty uncomfortable to sleep on the floor with five other people, but I’d do it for at least one night!

OH! OH my god. Yesterday we all went to this town called Auroville outside Pondicherry. It’s this town where people migrate to from around the world (there are like 94 countries represented) to be hippies and live together and denounce religion and instead serve ‘The mother’, who founded their community in the 60s….in other words, IT WAS A HUGE CULT. It was literally the Dharma Initiative meets Scientology! I’m not even kidding. We had to watch this movie and it was JUST LIKE you’d imagine it. There were all these scrolling words over a backdrop of the universe and it was FUCKED UP but awesome and hilarious. There’s this big copper golf ball in the middle of the compound (and when I say big, I mean BIG. It’s like 10 stories) that they call their soul. They kept stressing that they only welcome people who are ‘serious and sincere’ so I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out. I wish I could say more about this place, but I literally just laughed nonstop for like 6 hours because the entire area was so ridiculous. And Don’t EVEN give me that shit about openmindedness or tolerance, because it was a fucking cult.

In other news, my placement sucks. It’s like…I don’t know, I mean, India is very different from the west in how actual work is done. Like, there is really hardly any sense of timeliness. If you plan to meet someone at 2:00, be ready to wait until 3:30, and that’s not considered rude or out of the ordinary. It’s like hanging out with John all the time. But it’s so strange how that’s the case at work, too! Not just in social situations. But anyway, it’s very hard to find work at my placement, because it’s all about independence. They’re all like ‘Well what do you want to do? You can do whatever you want!’ and I’m like I don’t fuckin know! I’m not a social worker! Just give me a task and I’ll do it. So, I’ve just latched myself onto my Aussie friends. They’re the biggest self-starters you’ll ever meet, so they’re constantly having seminars and giving presentations and organizing events and shit, so I literally was like ‘Umm can I be your personal assistant?’ and they’re like ‘oh my god no! It won’t be like that!’ and I’m like ‘PLEASE. Let it be like that. Please, I need direction.’ So, my current and probably only assignment is to create an hour long powerpoint about Global Warming for a seminar this week.

But yeah, I’m already on day 17. That means that tomorrow, my time in India will be 2/3 done. I cannot BELIEVE how quickly time has gone. I will honestly be very sad to leave this insane country and my wonderful new friends behind (they’re all making plans to travel together after I’m gone! Sad, and I introduced them all! This always happens to me lol), but I’m still very excited for Bangkok. Oh yeah, I’m going to fucking BANGKOK. I cant believe this is my life.

Oh and Twilight is on TV, even in India. Fuck.
- Josh