Hi!
Ok. So I’m sitting at the Bangkok Airport…a full 11 hours before my flight leaves. I know. It’s stupid. I’m stupid. But it was either this or pay for a hotel room and not even sleep in it and then have to pay for an airport transfer at 3 AM, since the metro only runs til midnight. I mean, I guess I could have come at 11 or something, but still, who wants to ride the metro through Bangkok at 11 PM?
So, whatever. I plan on spending my (ridiculously long) evening applying for jobs and watching movies and Grey’s Anatomy. And maybe sleeping. I’ve finally mastered the art of sleeping on planes and in airports. All you need to do is just get no sleep at all leading up to it. Problem solved. OH. GET THIS. I was up at 6 today for a tour (more later), so I got like no sleep. Now I’m up all night. Then tomorrow, I have to wait for Jackie for like 6 hours at the airport. I HATE JACKIE.
Anyway, I’ve decided Thailand is awesome and that Bangkok is definitely a top 3 city in my book, along with Paris. I’m not sure what the 3rd city would be, because no city I’ve been to is as cool as either of these two. I mean, Florence had a lot of character, but it wasn’t exciting. Rome was exciting, but didn’t have as much character. Chennai sucks. Athens is kind of gross and way too hectic and crowded for my style. Prague was absolutely gorgeous, but it’s definitely not as cool as Bangkok. I do love Budapest though….so maybe that’ll be up there by default. Yes, Budapest is the #3 coolest city I’ve been too.
But I have a feeling that’ll change if I ever go to New York, London, Istanbul or Tokyo. PS. I really, really want to go to the UK. Like, if you’re going, can I come? Is that wedding thing that Jo and Caden are going to still on? If not, I’m hoping to go within the next 2 years. LETS GO. THREE WEEKS UK YOU AND ME START SAVING.
So anyway yeah. Bangkok. It’s like, I dunno, just really freaking awesome. OH OH OH OH!!! I want to talk more about gay people here. So like I said before, gay Thais are EVERYWHERE and so are transgenders. They’re out and proud and everyone’s used to it. It’s so different from India (and much of the US), it’s ridiculous. SO I went on this tour today organized by my hotel, which is a four star hotel, so it’s pretty classy and the tour was pretty pricy. We went to this palace and these ancient ruins outside the city. And we had a tour guide the entire time. He was kind of weird, and he was straight b/c he kept talking about beautiful women and how Shania Twain stole his heart (the only reason he’s even heard of Chicago is because he has Shania Twain! Live in Chicago! on DVD) and whatever. But, he kept casually talking about the Ladyboys (transgenders) and how the most beautiful women in the world are the Ladyboys and he was very proud of this part of Thai culture. This was interesting. I mean, in the US, on a tour of like, Chicago, wouldn’t it be weird if all of a sudden, your tour guide just started spouting off about the transgender community? Right. Especially if they worked for a 1st class tour agency.
But this was nothing. I get taken back to my hotel to check out, and I have an even MORE interesting encounter regarding GLBT issues in Thailand. So I didn’t write this before b/c it’s not that interesting, but one of the receptionists at my hotel is SO GAY. Like, he’s Justin Long in that one movie gay….X 10. I don’t even speak Thai, but everything about him screams GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. Now, this doesn’t bother me, be as gay as you fucking want, I don’t care. I say, more power to ya, I hope you piss off and shock every single ignorant person out there and then some. Be yourself! But I’m just trying to stress that even though he was GAY GAY GAYGAY GAYGAYGAY, I don’t mind (and I HATE self-proclaimed ‘straight-acting’ gay guys who think they’re so much better than flamboyant gay guys. Like, guys who are so convinced they’re so straight and that guys who just act themselves ruin it for the rest of us. UGH. SO IGNORANT), so I didn’t really think too much of it, because I’m used to this in the US, but when ya think about it, a lot of American businesses probably wouldn’t really want to hire guys who are that flamboyant, ya know? Like it’s one thing for Starbucks or whatever to do so, but a 4 star hotel in Des Moines? I dunno. I mean, yeah, there are definitely some places where it wouldn’t be surprising, but others, it probably would be, right? Like if you drove up to the Sheraton and the guy who helps you has waxed eyebrows and highlights and an earring, talking like a full-on woman, it’s be surprising. Many people would find it off-putting. I know my father would, as would many straight assholes I know.
Anyway, I check out and this guy helps me and then I get into the free tuk-tuk service provided by my hotel to take me to the metro. Now the driver of my tuk-tuk is probably in his mid to late 40s, and he drives a tuk-tuk all day so he’s obviously a middle class service worker. I get in, and he goes ‘Wave bye to him!’ I’m really confused, but then I realize that he’s referencing the gay front desk worker. I reluctantly waved, because I thought he was making fun of me or something but then I was like ‘ugh this Asia, just wave.’ Because in India, you just get used to waving at everyone, so I was like whatever, it’s just a weird moment where for once, Thailand isn’t completely westernized. I off-handedly joke to myself
‘Haha….weird….maybe he likes me.’
AND THEN the guy just full-out says ‘He like you! He say you very handsome!’ Ok so put all the obvious jokes and humorous thoughts aside about this guy thinking I’m handsome. Just think about it. This is crazy, right? Would the average 40 year old hotel limo driver in the US EVER look at a client and go ‘Wave goodbye to the super-femmy desk worker! He thinks you’re hot!’ Fuck no! I feel like you could probably get fired for doing something like that, in many places. Furthermore, the fact that this 20-something kid was comfortable enough to tell everyone in the hotel that he thinks random guys are hot is also something just out of this world to me.
But it doesn’t stop there. I’m like, laughing uncomfortably, because this was really jarring, and the driver continues. ‘He’ a ladyboy! He like you! A ladyboy!’ and he wasn’t making fun of him, he wasn’t trying to get a rise out of me…he was saying it in a “This is our culture! If you come to Thailand, this is what you get! The gays are proud, we’re proud, we’re all proud together!” However, I was confused. Because like, if you’re a ladyboy, shouldn’t you be dressed as a lady? This guy acted like a woman and spoke like a woman, but he was dressed as a man and wasn’t wearing make up or anything…or so I thought…I’m really bad at telling when people are wearing make up. Honestly, if you’re a girl, and I don’t know whether you’re wearing make up, it’s not you, it’s me.
ANYWAY like, if you’re not dressed in drag, aren’t you just a gay guy? I dunno. Perhaps my tuk-tuk driver was just equating gays to transsexuals, which is something that probably happens in the US all the time among ignorant homophobes, but if so, it wasn’t in a negative way, but a positive one. Like, we’re all family here! Not ‘all those damn homoboys are the same.’ Or anything like that. But I’m pretty sure that most Thais would separate them into two very different categories, like in the west.
But yeah. I really want to learn more about this. I mean, I’ve always had an interest in GLBT issues (duh), but especially trangender issues. Like, I feel like everyone forgets about transgenders. We fight and fight for gay rights, but when do you ever hear about gender identity?? When I was a psychology major, I wanted to be a counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever (I don’t remember which is which), and I either wanted to work with people who had eating disorders, or people with gender identity issues. I would still love to do so, but obviously, I’m not gonna be a psychiatrist. Perhaps a social worker or even a volunteer?
Anyway, is it the same in other Southeast Asian countries? I read that Bali is very gay-friendly…but it doesn’t make any sense because it said it’s gay-friendly because of the religion (Hinduism)…but India’s not gay-friendly at all. India’s so not gay-friendly that many gay men just turn themselves into a 3rd gender called a Hijra and then hope to cut their dick off someday in an alley somewhere because it’s BETTER than being gay. But I guess that there are as many sects of Hinduism as there are Christianity.
ANYWAY in my little book that I bought about Bali in Bangkok for $10, it said that masculinity isn’t a big deal in Bali at all. So, there isn’t a stigma against being feminine or gay or anything that’s not what we as westerners describe as manly. And to judge another person is considered very rude, so it’s just like, engrained in the Balinese philosophy to accept people as they are. It’s actually quite common for the Balinese to experiment here and there with members of both sexes…which makes me wonder what life would be like in the US if we didn’t have the problems we do. Like, I’ve always believed that sexuality is on a spectrum. No one is 100% gay or 100% straight, and in my opinion, the term bisexual is just overkill. Like, how many women do you meet that are attracted to other women in subtle ways but probably wouldn’t ever actually have sex with a girl? Or how many men out there (like the ones you find on dating sites) are “straight” except when it comes to their dirty little secret boys on the side? I just feel like we’re all placed somewhere on this spectrum, and it’s sad we have these labels to segregate people.
And honestly, I feel like it’s all due to religion. Like, if the bible had never said the stupid shit it says about two men lying on the ground together or whatever, life would be so much easier for gays in the west. However, I guess it’s only fair to point out that gay people tend to be persecuted in almost every culture today, so if anything, it’s just another example of how the majority will almost always overpower the minority in any given situation.
So, back to Bali. Ironically, being gay (if it’s even the same label that we have in the west) is so not out of the ordinary that there are hardly any gay clubs or venues, because there isn’t the need for gays to escape and gather in solidarity. That’s interesting. It’s like, Bali is gay friendly, but it’s not a gay party scene. It’s not the place to go if you want to have sex with strangers in clubs or get crabs from a guy in a park somewhere, but it is the place to go if you just want to relax and not feel threatened, and perhaps make some good friends with similar philosophies.
All the gay stuff aside, I would love, love, love to return to Thailand someday. I could even see myself living here for an extended period of time. I don’t think I could honestly live in India for more than like 2 months (which doesn’t even count as living, does it?), especially Chennai, but I could definitely live in Thailand. I can’t even stress how easy everything is. It’s literally just like Europe, from a tourist’s point of view. Everyone told me that people are so used to tourists here, I could get anywhere in no time due to the infrastructure, but I didn’t believe them. Everyone told me it’s a modern, cosmopolitan city, but I didn’t believe them.
Everyone told me that there are more tourists than you’d ever believe, but I didn’t believe them. But it’s really true. Bangkok is exciting and beautiful and GLBT-friendly (though, the rights of GLBT individuals pale in comparison to the rights we have in the US, but the rights we have in the US aren’t too much to brag about anyway, are they?) and full of culture, yet modern. Sure, there are seedy parts…but I saw much, much worse in Amsterdam. If you want to be a gross, creepy tourist, you can definitely be one in Bangkok. If you want to be a normal tourist and steer clear of all that, it’s a piece of cake.
I probably won’t ever live here, but I DO want to come back. However, if I came back to Thailand, I don’t know if I’d return to Bangkok, because I’ve now done everything I want in the north (5 days in Bangkok + the daytrip to Ayutthaya I took today), so I’d most likely stay in the south, and just soak up all the beaches and national parks. OH MY GOD THAT SOUNDS AWESOME LETS DO IT
- Josh A
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