Why hello,
The last week has been so emotional. I have completely fallen in love with India. Well, not really India, but the people I have met and the experiences I have had. And I've been dealing with other things. I very much have enjoyed getting to know the people of this country, and I realize that even though four weeks is hardly enough to truly take it all in, it’s been wonderful and I am so glad I FINALLY have a taste of what this region is like. It’s just like, this place is totally a picture book of the world. There is western extravagance, extreme poverty, every religion, oppression, eastern tradition, everything. And the people I have met have just been…life-changing.
The first couple of weeks, I hung out with some friends who, though they were very kind and wonderful, somewhat idealized this country. Though the locals are 95% generous and open and kind, there are of course weirdos and assholes everywhere. Whenever something strange or aggressive happened, these wonderful girls would be like ‘It’s India! There’s no reason for it! It just happens and you get used to it.’ And I’d be like ‘ugh. Do you really have to just deal with it?’ I didn’t want to complain or be negative or culturally insensitive. However, over the past couple of weeks, I have hung out with some other friends, who are quite the opposite. Because of them, I’ve learned that it’s ok to be like ‘Ok this fucking sucks and I hate India’ when you walk out into a market and there are literally 1000 people within 20 feet in every direction, and it’s impossible to move without touching dozens of people or getting pushed. It’s ok to ask someone why they won’t stop staring, or tell them to get out of your face, or that their offer is ridiculous.
Having this attitude has really just…made things easier…and even though I’m extremely nervous to go to Bangkok (I’m so tired of being nervous), this makes it a little better. Like, I feel much more prepared to live in a city soemday, or travel really anywhere now. And I guess I’ll have my first test in 2 days.
HOLY SHIT HOW IS IT OCTOBER 6TH?! I don’t even know. Time is ridic. Though my first week or so just drug on endlessly, the rest of my time absolutely flew by. I’m literally leaving for the airport in a little over 24 hours, and in 48 hours I’ll be in Bangkok at my hotel. In about a week, I’ll be in Bali with Jackie. In 2 and a half weeks, I’ll be home. Home. That’s INSANE. I’m honestly really nervous to go home too. I mean, if and when I walk through the doors of the Arrivals hall in Chicago, I know I will breathe a sigh of relief. And then I’ll probably start crying because I haven’t slept in 24 hours, but it should be a nice feeling. But then what? Things won’t go back to the way they were. People might be different. Though I know that nothing as amazing as this trip can last, and I still won’t regret cutting my tip short, I will really miss everything about this trip…especially India.
I guess I really didn’t see myself making actual friends in India. I hoped I’d meet people and have others to pass the time with, but I really, truly lucked out. I’ve honestly even picked up British and Aussie slang. Today we were at the mall, and instead of asking ‘Are we supposed to go this way?’ I heard myself say ‘Are we meant to go this way?’ and I’ve also discovered that Brits and Aussies have this way of talking that’s completely different than the US. Like, when Americans say a declarative sentence, we tend to lower the pitch of our voice at the end of the sentence. When Brits do the same, they tend to keep their pitch the same…or even raise it. I didn’t notice this, until I noticed myself doing it. I was telling a story and I noticed I was speaking completely differently than I ever have before. And now I’ve been doing it more and more…and this is only after two weeks of hanging out with these guys.
Haha, so much for picking up Indian culture. I don’t know, the biggest Indian thing I can think of is the Head Wobble. And I don't fuckin want it b/c it's annoying. If you’ve never been to India, you probably have no idea what that it is. Even I, someone who has a huge interest in India and has taken 2 classes about it and has met many Indians, had no idea what I was doing upon arrival. See, Indians don’t really nod their head. Or shake it really, either. They do this wobble. They wobble their head back and forth. It means yes. And no. And sure why not. And I guess. And you’re welcome. Literally, you never have any fucking idea what they’re saying.
I didn’t pick it up. But my friend did.
Interestingly enough, the other night I met someone who actually doesn’t do the wobble. She’s this girl named Tivoli. She’s like, an American stuck in an Indian’s body. It’s crazy. She’s totally westernized…even though she’s never been to the west. She wears blue jeans and t-shirts (almost never dresses traditionally), watches American TV (she LOVES 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother and Grey’s Anatomy and the Big Bang Theory), and she wants to move to the US next year. She has a boyfriend (in other words, she’s not waiting around for an arranged marriage) and when she met me, she was like ‘So have you been to any clubs in Chennai?’ and I was like ‘What clubs?’ and she was like, really honestly disappointed that I hadn’t experienced this western, crazy side to Chennai. That like, all I had seen was the poverty and traditional, cultural side. It was crazy. Because like, I almost felt as though she was kind of embarrassed for her country. Like, not necessarily embarrassed, but as someone who relates to western culture, she wanted me to see the wealthy, excessive side, because it’s almost better, per se. She was also super nice and I absolutely loved her…but it was crazy.
Like, she even told my friends Viv and Joel (whom I met her through) that she at time feels like an outsider in her own culture…and Viv and Joel both were like ‘Tivoli, we love you, we have had so much fun with you!’ and she was like ‘You tourists always say it’s fun, but then you leave and it’s back to reality for me.’ Or something like that. Isn’t that sad? I hope she gets to the US someday…but it makes me wonder how she’ll find it. Like, nothing is ever at it seems, ya know? Especially the US. Every region and city has its own distinct flavor. Travel from Texas to Lousiana to Florida to North Carolina to New York to Indiana to Utah to California to Alaska to Hawaii and you will find ridiculous amounts of diversity….in every way….and no TV show or postcard or fastfood joint can really do the country justice.
This whole thing kind of reminds me of illegal immigrants in the US. Like, I remember one day I was reading postsecret and one secret said ‘I was born in Mexico, but my parents brought me to California as an infant. I am not American, but I do not consider myself Mexican. I have no identity.’ It was so sad! And I think very common, but most people probably will never meet these people…not that I’m comparing Tivoli, who is super smart and funny and outgoing and seemingly has a great life, to this sad illegal immigrant story, but it reminded me of that.
So anyway, yeah. Life’s great. I love life. It’s like, I’m so fucking high on life…that I love everything. I’m really gonna miss my friends from India…but nothing gold can stay. Most of them will also be out of Chennai within the next couple of weeks, I’m simply the first to start the gradual dissipation of the group. It’s weird how you can latch onto new realities so quickly, even if you know they’re temporary. Like the other night Viv stayed the night in my room with me and we just talked all night…and I felt as though I could do that forever. It felt like home, and I felt at home. Or sitting around talking with Jas and Jen about how fucking annoying auto drivers are has given me some of the funniest moments of my entire life to laugh at…and in many ways, I would love to stay here for years just shooting the shit…like, I have fully adapted to this new, crazy, eventful, stressful place called India, and I have really built up this little makeshift family, and I love all my new friends, very very much. But, I am ready to get home. The thought of getting home is fully exhilarating. Like, I am nervous and anxious and excited and looking forward to it, and I really miss so many things I never thought I would.
I miss Thursday TV nights. I miss going to Panera. I miss playing games with Jessica. I miss driving to the mall (stupid, lame, same ol’ same ol’ Coral Ridge Mall, where I’ve gone my entire life to get clothes lol). I miss making sandwiches. I miss ordering pizza (though we did get Domino’s to deliver the other night and it was fucking GREAT). I miss my MacBook. I miss going to ITCs to print stuff. I miss fountain pop (OH MY GOD I MISS FOUNTAIN POP). And of course, I miss going to Kum ‘n Go to get said fountain pop. I miss browsing through E, TV Land, CNN, TBS, and whatever movie channels my parents have ordered this weekend. I really, really miss going to class and being a student. I miss going to movies (recently released movies that aren’t in 3D). I miss Netflix. I miss working out. A lot (I actually am really, really looking forward to going to the gym as soon as I get a place). I miss having my own place! I miss having poster and photos and seeing all my DVDs in a row on the shelf like a nice little DVD family. I miss going to Elkader for the weekend. I miss my mom. I miss American body language. I miss jeans. I miss having a wardrobe I enjoy (I never realized how important clothing is to my personal comfort). I miss having different shoes to wear. I miss American radio (even though every café and mall here is just full of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and especially Akon). But I mean the actual radio. Like, sitting in Jason’s car and flipping between B100 and 102.9. I miss working. I miss Buffy and Lost and Angel. And of course, I miss watching the Anatomy with Jason. I actually just miss Jason, and all the different things we do together…even though, like 75% of the things I listed were really only things I do with Jason. I also miss Jessica, and the Allens. I miss everyone, really. Everyone better still have my fucking postcards because I’m gonna check.
Oh, speaking of the Anatomy, I’m gonna start Private Practice as soon as I upload this. Are you excited?
However, I also realize that I really don’t have much room to complain. Though I miss the comforts of home, I have had such a smooth ride. Like, one of my friends has the flu (though she’s better now) and her boyfriend dumped her and she got evicted all in one week. Another of my friends paid 4,500 rupees ($100) for a hotel only to show up and find out that it closed down the night before. Then she got on a train to Chennai and the next day, she found out that her train had a BOMB on it. Yeah, a fucking bomb was on her fucking train. She read about it in the newspaper!
Can you fucking imagine?! Holy shit. Or my friend Emily has to live in this tiny little center in the middle of NOWHERE with no internet, barely any access to any cities, a four hour train ride to see her friends, and crazy monkeys that steal your shit for three whole months. OH MY GOD I’d go crazy. Granted, I still haven’t done anything here for my placement (WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY), but at least I’ve enjoyed my time and I’ve learned quite a bit and I’ve been able to adequately keep in touch with friends and family and keep myself entertained with malls and restaurants and movie theatres and internet cafes and shit. I guess I lost my cell phone…but that only cost $20 and I wasn’t even gonna keep it after I left India…so, win win? Or my other friend is now on her second trip to India, and on her first, she lost her passport. I don’t even…whatever.
If losing my cell is the worst thing that can happen to me in like 8 weeks, then I am just the luckiest mofo in this entire country, I swear. And the thing about the placement…it’s like, ok. Remember Viv and Joel? The hard-working, super-motivated social work students? Well they had been planning this seminar about human trafficking and child rights for this super annoying group of girls who came to stay at MCCSS for a week (yeah, a whole week of super annoying girls. It was really nice). They had been asked like 2 weeks in advance to prepare this 2 hour long program, where the girls would watch a documentary, then talk about it and talk about child rights violations in groups. It sounded awesome. Like, I probably would have learned more in that session than I did in most of the classes I took freshman year. It was supposed to be at 2 PM Sunday. On Friday, their boss pushed it back to 2 PM Monday. They show up at MCCSS at 10 to prepare and load the documentary on my laptop (because internet in India SUCKS and you have to load things in advance, and they had to go to an internet café because my USB modem is way slow and then the internet café people thought they were terrorists because they had to take the Ethernet cord out of the computer and connect it to my laptop), and then at 1:30 we all go up and the girls are watching Taken. Like, yeah, they’re just watching a fucking movie. It’s apparently gonna be over at 3. At 3, we set up and we go get the girls to come and take part, and the girls’ teacher tells Viv and Joel that a government official is coming by to ask the girls what they’ve learned and monitor the program. Yeah, there are like 700,000 people living in Slums in this country, and the government has time to check up on this shitty program. Why don’t they try to focus on, I don’t know, um, clean drinking water or something? ANYWAY so they’re like ‘can you do it at 6 tonight?’ but like, these girls are all like 14 and they’re listening to Taylor Swift and at 6 PM, they’re not gonna want to take part in a 2 hour program. But Joel and Viv go along with it. 6 PM comes, the internet fucks up and the movie they loaded before, doesn’t work! They can’t reload it because it will take hours (to load a 45 minute youtube video). So they just have to make due and have a discussion without any material to work off. They did awesomely, and I was way proud of them, but it was the most ridiculous, frustrating day…and I didn’t even have to do anything.
Anyway, EVERYTHING IS LIKE THAT IN INDIA. And this kind of thing happens every single day at MCCSS. It’s a miracle that they get anything done at all. Getting ANYWHERE takes, in the words of my friend Jasdeep, ‘a million fucking years.’ Seriously! It is impossible to get anywhere. Like my friends are all going on a trip this weekend to a temple like 3 hours away, and at first I was sad to not be able to go, but now I’m kind of ok with it, because I HATE going anywhere in this fucking country. My friend Kush spends an hour and half getting to work everyday! Everyday! And then back! WTF?! I’d kill someone. No, I’d kill everyone. He lives really far from the rest of us, and everytime we text him, it’s like ‘I’m on a bus. Now I’m on a train. Now I’m in an auto. Now I’m in a shared auto. Be there soon.’ Ugh! Just going out to eat is literally an adventure, every single time. I won’t miss that.
OH! Let’s talk about things I won’t miss about India:
1)Getting dirt in my eye when walking down the street
2)People staring, all the time, every single day, every place I go, for every second I’m there
3)Annoying auto drivers who want to charge me 4x the amount they charge locals
4)Having to take 3 or 4 modes of transportation to get anywhere
5)Akon playing on every speaker that isn’t really fucking annoying Tamil music
6)Men pissing on the side of the road…in broad daylight...on every road.
7)The pollution. Ya know people are like ‘India has so many new sights and sounds and smells.’? They should say ‘India has so many new sights and sound and lots of fucking pollution so it smells really terrible and you’ll probably want to vomit here and there.’ Honestly. I will be so grateful to be back in the US and not be surrounded by rotting garbage and festering bodily fluids. Iowa City may smell like alcohol for a good half the year, but it will be a very welcome change to the smells in India. That and the prettiness of it. I have truly forgotten how pretty Iowa City is. I will love being back there and just being able to sit on the grass…anywhere! At night even!
8)Literally being SOAKED in sweat, all day long.
This might make it sound like I hate India. It’s not true. I hate parts of India. I really do, and now that I’m comfortable here, I can admit that and not feel ethnocentric. I mean, I hate parts of the US too. I hate parts of Europe. But I also love India. It has been, well, life-changing. It really has. Europe wasn’t life-changing. I mean, I fucking love Europe and I would love to live ANYWHERE on that continent, for an extended period of time, whether it be Bosnia or Turkey or London or Paris or Ukraine, I just love Europe and I don’t think I will ever get sick of visiting it (and overall, my trips to Europe were better than my trips to India, and if I had to choose between my European memories or my Indian memories, I’d choose the European)…but it wasn’t life-changing. I never experienced culture shock, or had to deal with anything…difficult or challenging. I never really learned that much, either. Everyone was like 'as soon as you get abroad, your whole worldview changes.' and I was like 'ummm I feel the same, because this is the same.' Both of my Europe trips were just vacations. Fucking AMAZING vacations that I wouldn’t trade for anything, but that’s what they were. They were escapes. They were holidays. They were fun and free and wonderful.
India has been…well, work. It’s been frustrating and confusing and scary and insane and surprising and well worth the wait and amazing. But I learned more about the world and life in these 4 weeks than I ever have back home in a class. Funnily enough, I really thought that Eastern Europe was gonna be just like this. Scary and intense and crazy. It’s not. It’s the same as Western Europe. People are just a little bit darker in the south and things are cheaper. If you want to fucking see different, go to India. You’ll literally feel like you can travel anywhere. I am scared of going to Russia someday? Hell no. Am I scared to go to Romania or Turkey? Are you kidding? South America? Peace of cake. Thailand? My friends have all been to Bangkok and they said it’s like being back home, because there are Starbucks and McDonalds on every fucking corner (and after 4 weeks here, I am SO ready for that), and there's no point in even going there if you're looking for a cultural experience. After India, you’ll feel like a pro.
Hey, I may even graduate past the self-appointed title of Amateur Traveler.
OH MY GOSH should I change my blog to Professional Traveler??? Hmm...lol. So anyway, India was hard and crazy and exhausting, but it was amazing. I have made some wonderful friends (whom, even if I had gotten malaria and lost my passport and gotten mugged, would have made all of this worth it, because yeah, they're that cool), who I honestly plan on seeing again as soon as possible, and I also plan on returning someday...when that may be, I don’t know...but I know I’ll be able to hack it. And even if my placement sucked, the experience was totally worth it. I have no regrets. I love that I can say that about my life. I love life. To sum up my trip thus far, here’s a quote from one of my favorite movies: “I can’t help but be so grateful for every single second of my stupid little life.” Can anyone name that reference? I’ll love you even more if you can.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Random Thought: 29
Hello all,
Tonight I finally realized just how amazing this all really is. Yeah, I know, now that I only have a week left in this country, I realize how amazing it is. Like, I just realized that 10 years from now I will look back on this month in India and just shit. Like, I will never have an experience like this ever again. It’s so weird how I just go back and forth here. I’m constantly racing back and forth between ‘OHMANICANTWAITTOGOHOME’ and ‘UGGHIWANTTOSTAYHEREFOREVER’ in my head. It’s really a combination of things, I guess. Like, I’m so lucky to have met the people that I’ve gotten to know. Because really, I could totally be friends with all of these people back home. It’s not like ‘Oh, we’re both white, so…I guess we’ll hang out. I mean, you’re kind of funny sometimes…?’ It’s like, the friends I have made are all really awesome people, whom I have a blast with, and whom I would absolutely be friends with in the states, without hesitation. Furthermore, they make me look like an amateur (traveler! Ha). Like, they have all been, well, everywhere. I’m not even kidding. They’re all so much more continental than I, it makes me sad to just think about it. Devi? My friend from France? She speaks FIVE languages. And not like, ‘oh I kind of speak some chinese, because I took a class in it 7 years ago.’ Like, she can converse and laugh and relate to people in FIVE languages. I hate America! I just want to live in Europe. I mean, fuckin right when it comes to India, but seriously. Europe is homeboy.
OH! This is hilarious. For like the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going home and NOT obsessing about traveling. Because like, for the last two years really, travel has literally been all I ever thought about. I was preparing for Eurotrip I, then I wanted to go back to Europe, then I decided I also wanted to go to India and SE Asia, and then I had to actually plan it all, and seriously, I was just constantly buying travel books and skimming Amazon for backpacks and asking people for advice and joining sites like TravBuddy and Lonelyplanet.com and all this exhausting shit, and I realized that once I’m home, I’m not gonna be obsessed anymore! Ya know? Like, I should feel pretty fulfilled by October 23rd, and I should be able to wait at least like, a few months before I even think about planning something else….or so you’d think. The other night I got an email from the poli sci department and apparently the Department of State sends students overseas every summer to become fluent in a critical language….for free. Like, literally, they will pay for your airfare and room and board and everything, for 8 weeks in the summer. I skimmed thru the programs, and I was disappointed at first because for the Russian program, you need two years already (I only have 1), and for Chinese and Japanese you also need at least 2 (I have…zero lol). But then I went to Turkish…and you don’t need any. But I’ve already got a whole fuckin year. And I got an A in it! So, I’m totally looking into it.
I mean, right now, I don’t have any desire to plan a trip abroad in the near future, but I don’t want to miss out on anything because I’m tired lol. This isn’t until June, and like I said, COMPLETELY FREE. How is that even possible? I don’t know, but I honestly can’t think of a more exciting or strategically located place to live for 8 weeks than Istanbul…except maybe Paris. Or Azerbaijan. Should I go to Baku? You don’t need any experience in the language.
PS, why is it that all the international students at Iowa are from east Asia? You never meet Australians or South Asians or anything! And the only European international students I’ve met are grad students.
Anyway, I just got done playing Uno with a bunch of Indian kids, and let me tell you, even Uno is different here. Humanity is a messed up thing. It’s corny, and so obvious, but it’s just ridiculous how truly different things are in India. It’s just so messed up to even walk down the street. Like, on any given street, you will see a chic European café, beggars, homeless people asleep, stray dogs who probably have rabies, a Dominos pizza, a cell phone shop, an Indian restaurant I wouldn’t eat from for $1000, and then a cow. Then you’ll probably get hit by a car. Fucking crazy.
In other news, my placement has turned into such a joke. It’s like, this organization totally does a lot of great stuff. I realize this. There are so many success stories, it’s true. And I am totally satisfied with how much I have learned about, well, the real world problems of marginalized communities while here. Like in the human trafficking project, I learned about this girl who was lured into the world of prostitution by being offered an awesome job in Mumbai or something (the two ways that are the most common to lure someone into being trafficked are to either feign a love affair or promise a wonderful job opportunity), and then she was abducted and forced into a brothel. She lived there for two years before escaping. She met someone whom she thought could offer help, but was abducted AGAIN. Then like 5 years later, the cops raided the place and she was taken to MCCSS. From here, she was reunited with her family after like 6 months. Two months later her mother died.
I know. It’s so heartbreaking that shit like this even happens. And it happens everyday. And I’m so glad that I’m here to meet people who have had to deal with these actual problems, but I could have learned about these same things from watching a documentary. I really have done, like, nothing while here. On the one hand, I’ve realized that it’s stupid to try to volunteer in a program like this for only four weeks. You need to spend the entire first week just adjusting and there’s sightseeing and orientation and stuff. Then you need like a week just to become familiar with the ins and outs of the organization. Then, maybe you can make a difference. So, I definitely wouldn’t give MCCSS high marks in their utilizations of volunteers. But my friends, who are here to do other, completely different assignments, like working with disabled children in a craft center, or interning at a Law firm, have told me that they all are having very similar experiences. It’s like, in the Indian psyche to treat you as a guest, and not work you too hard.
Furthermore, there isn’t the infrastructure or codes of conduct that we’re used to in the west, with strict guidelines of what volunteers can and can’t do, confidentiality clauses, and widespread educational tools to weed out those who aren’t qualified to help out. Add to that the perpetual Indian attitudes of untimeliness, the language barrier and the exhausting heat, and it’s just like…the perfect recipe to not get anything done. It’s frustrating, because obviously everyone is here to help and get involved and be busy, but it seems like such an endemic problem that there’s nothing I can do about it.
Like, take for instance my Aussies. Joel and Viv are SO READY to work. They are constantly brain-storming, and are super experienced and qualified and they’re confident and motivated and they need to be here to graduate, so they need good experiences to reflect and report on. Like, as soon as they got here, they started planning this self-esteem workshop to teach the women in the short-stay home about self-esteem (I actually don’t know if the same concept exists in India). Three weeks later (today), they actually got to present it. It was REALLY awesome, and I got to help some children make a collage and it was a great experience, even for me. Imagine what the place could be like if my friends’ talents were actually put to use??
However, I will say that even though MCCSS is somewhat lacking, the NGO that brought me here, ELI, has been wonderful. I could not ask for more support or assistance, and this has been wonderful. So, if you’re interested in overseas volunteering, I’d definitely recommend ELI, but I would probably suggest other projects. They offer stuff all over the world. And PS, I will never, ever visit a place like India on my own ever again without the assistance of some kind of organization or tour company or local friend, because it is all too overwhelming to do on your own. At least for me, and I even have the guts to actually do all this. Like, if I didn't have an in-country contact upon arrival, I don't even know how I would have gotten to a hotel. Or if I would have ever left. But that's just me. I grew up in Iowa. I'm just glad I didn't have to learn this the hard way.
In news that’s not related at all, tonight I went to the fourth mall of my Indian excursion. I know, you can totally make fun of me. But it gets better...I had McDonalds (a big mac in India is the Big Maharaja). Don’t I suck? I also bought season 1 of Private Practice (Addison Montgomery = my life, even in Asia) and almost went to Baskin Robbins, but decided that the first time I get BR should probably be in the US. I just can’t help it….I crave consumerism!! Consumerism and capitalism and imperialism?? They’re my saviors. It’s terrible, but necessary.
OH! You’re gonna shit. I’ve decided to join choir next semester. I KNOW. It’s gonna be stupid and awesome at the same time. Much like most of this trip.
Love,
Josh A
Tonight I finally realized just how amazing this all really is. Yeah, I know, now that I only have a week left in this country, I realize how amazing it is. Like, I just realized that 10 years from now I will look back on this month in India and just shit. Like, I will never have an experience like this ever again. It’s so weird how I just go back and forth here. I’m constantly racing back and forth between ‘OHMANICANTWAITTOGOHOME’ and ‘UGGHIWANTTOSTAYHEREFOREVER’ in my head. It’s really a combination of things, I guess. Like, I’m so lucky to have met the people that I’ve gotten to know. Because really, I could totally be friends with all of these people back home. It’s not like ‘Oh, we’re both white, so…I guess we’ll hang out. I mean, you’re kind of funny sometimes…?’ It’s like, the friends I have made are all really awesome people, whom I have a blast with, and whom I would absolutely be friends with in the states, without hesitation. Furthermore, they make me look like an amateur (traveler! Ha). Like, they have all been, well, everywhere. I’m not even kidding. They’re all so much more continental than I, it makes me sad to just think about it. Devi? My friend from France? She speaks FIVE languages. And not like, ‘oh I kind of speak some chinese, because I took a class in it 7 years ago.’ Like, she can converse and laugh and relate to people in FIVE languages. I hate America! I just want to live in Europe. I mean, fuckin right when it comes to India, but seriously. Europe is homeboy.
OH! This is hilarious. For like the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going home and NOT obsessing about traveling. Because like, for the last two years really, travel has literally been all I ever thought about. I was preparing for Eurotrip I, then I wanted to go back to Europe, then I decided I also wanted to go to India and SE Asia, and then I had to actually plan it all, and seriously, I was just constantly buying travel books and skimming Amazon for backpacks and asking people for advice and joining sites like TravBuddy and Lonelyplanet.com and all this exhausting shit, and I realized that once I’m home, I’m not gonna be obsessed anymore! Ya know? Like, I should feel pretty fulfilled by October 23rd, and I should be able to wait at least like, a few months before I even think about planning something else….or so you’d think. The other night I got an email from the poli sci department and apparently the Department of State sends students overseas every summer to become fluent in a critical language….for free. Like, literally, they will pay for your airfare and room and board and everything, for 8 weeks in the summer. I skimmed thru the programs, and I was disappointed at first because for the Russian program, you need two years already (I only have 1), and for Chinese and Japanese you also need at least 2 (I have…zero lol). But then I went to Turkish…and you don’t need any. But I’ve already got a whole fuckin year. And I got an A in it! So, I’m totally looking into it.
I mean, right now, I don’t have any desire to plan a trip abroad in the near future, but I don’t want to miss out on anything because I’m tired lol. This isn’t until June, and like I said, COMPLETELY FREE. How is that even possible? I don’t know, but I honestly can’t think of a more exciting or strategically located place to live for 8 weeks than Istanbul…except maybe Paris. Or Azerbaijan. Should I go to Baku? You don’t need any experience in the language.
PS, why is it that all the international students at Iowa are from east Asia? You never meet Australians or South Asians or anything! And the only European international students I’ve met are grad students.
Anyway, I just got done playing Uno with a bunch of Indian kids, and let me tell you, even Uno is different here. Humanity is a messed up thing. It’s corny, and so obvious, but it’s just ridiculous how truly different things are in India. It’s just so messed up to even walk down the street. Like, on any given street, you will see a chic European café, beggars, homeless people asleep, stray dogs who probably have rabies, a Dominos pizza, a cell phone shop, an Indian restaurant I wouldn’t eat from for $1000, and then a cow. Then you’ll probably get hit by a car. Fucking crazy.
In other news, my placement has turned into such a joke. It’s like, this organization totally does a lot of great stuff. I realize this. There are so many success stories, it’s true. And I am totally satisfied with how much I have learned about, well, the real world problems of marginalized communities while here. Like in the human trafficking project, I learned about this girl who was lured into the world of prostitution by being offered an awesome job in Mumbai or something (the two ways that are the most common to lure someone into being trafficked are to either feign a love affair or promise a wonderful job opportunity), and then she was abducted and forced into a brothel. She lived there for two years before escaping. She met someone whom she thought could offer help, but was abducted AGAIN. Then like 5 years later, the cops raided the place and she was taken to MCCSS. From here, she was reunited with her family after like 6 months. Two months later her mother died.
I know. It’s so heartbreaking that shit like this even happens. And it happens everyday. And I’m so glad that I’m here to meet people who have had to deal with these actual problems, but I could have learned about these same things from watching a documentary. I really have done, like, nothing while here. On the one hand, I’ve realized that it’s stupid to try to volunteer in a program like this for only four weeks. You need to spend the entire first week just adjusting and there’s sightseeing and orientation and stuff. Then you need like a week just to become familiar with the ins and outs of the organization. Then, maybe you can make a difference. So, I definitely wouldn’t give MCCSS high marks in their utilizations of volunteers. But my friends, who are here to do other, completely different assignments, like working with disabled children in a craft center, or interning at a Law firm, have told me that they all are having very similar experiences. It’s like, in the Indian psyche to treat you as a guest, and not work you too hard.
Furthermore, there isn’t the infrastructure or codes of conduct that we’re used to in the west, with strict guidelines of what volunteers can and can’t do, confidentiality clauses, and widespread educational tools to weed out those who aren’t qualified to help out. Add to that the perpetual Indian attitudes of untimeliness, the language barrier and the exhausting heat, and it’s just like…the perfect recipe to not get anything done. It’s frustrating, because obviously everyone is here to help and get involved and be busy, but it seems like such an endemic problem that there’s nothing I can do about it.
Like, take for instance my Aussies. Joel and Viv are SO READY to work. They are constantly brain-storming, and are super experienced and qualified and they’re confident and motivated and they need to be here to graduate, so they need good experiences to reflect and report on. Like, as soon as they got here, they started planning this self-esteem workshop to teach the women in the short-stay home about self-esteem (I actually don’t know if the same concept exists in India). Three weeks later (today), they actually got to present it. It was REALLY awesome, and I got to help some children make a collage and it was a great experience, even for me. Imagine what the place could be like if my friends’ talents were actually put to use??
However, I will say that even though MCCSS is somewhat lacking, the NGO that brought me here, ELI, has been wonderful. I could not ask for more support or assistance, and this has been wonderful. So, if you’re interested in overseas volunteering, I’d definitely recommend ELI, but I would probably suggest other projects. They offer stuff all over the world. And PS, I will never, ever visit a place like India on my own ever again without the assistance of some kind of organization or tour company or local friend, because it is all too overwhelming to do on your own. At least for me, and I even have the guts to actually do all this. Like, if I didn't have an in-country contact upon arrival, I don't even know how I would have gotten to a hotel. Or if I would have ever left. But that's just me. I grew up in Iowa. I'm just glad I didn't have to learn this the hard way.
In news that’s not related at all, tonight I went to the fourth mall of my Indian excursion. I know, you can totally make fun of me. But it gets better...I had McDonalds (a big mac in India is the Big Maharaja). Don’t I suck? I also bought season 1 of Private Practice (Addison Montgomery = my life, even in Asia) and almost went to Baskin Robbins, but decided that the first time I get BR should probably be in the US. I just can’t help it….I crave consumerism!! Consumerism and capitalism and imperialism?? They’re my saviors. It’s terrible, but necessary.
OH! You’re gonna shit. I’ve decided to join choir next semester. I KNOW. It’s gonna be stupid and awesome at the same time. Much like most of this trip.
Love,
Josh A
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Random Thought: 28
So,
I’m sorry that I’ve been quite flaky lately. It’s been much harder lately to motivate myself to write a blog entry. Ok, motivate’s a bad word. I mean, it’s harder to talk about my experiences and just form a coherent stream of thoughts that would be interesting to read, now that I’m actually used to this place. My life has become somewhat routine, and this quite nice, but it’s less exciting. However, I have had some really great experiences I would love to share with you. Furthermore, I’m constantly thinking about so many things, that I am so mentally exhausted most of the time. Add to that the fact that I still haven’t gotten on a regular sleep schedule and it’s about 95 degrees, and I’m also very physically exhausted.
So, I guess I’d say my great experiences can be divided into two categories: Cultural and funtimes. Haha. I mean, to be fair, every single fucking second in India is a cultural experience, so I’ve really been coming to appreciate the funtimes. This is why I don't feel about clinging to Western comforts. You HAVE to sometimes. I guess I’ve kind of formed a kind of make-shift little family/support system here with my fellow westerners who are also trying their best to adjust to this crazy new world. There are Vivian and Joel, two Australians who volunteer at MCCSS also. They’re just a riot, and I think they may secretly be in love. Then there are Kush and Jen, two Brits interning at a law firm in Chennai, who are here through the same program I am. Jen actually has this dickhead of a landlord, who EVICTED her because she wasn’t happy with him, so she’s moving into MCCSS. Kush’s family are Indian migrants, so we kind of have an in when haggling and such. Then there’s Emily, another Brit, also here through the same program, but who lives 4 hours away at this adorable craft center for disabled children, and she works with these two wonderful French girls named Devi and Nathalie. Then there are my new Danish loves, Korina, Tea and Shoba, plus we just initiated two Germans who are moving into MCCSS tomorrow.
Currently, me and most of the people I have just listed are in this small seaside town called Pondicherry for the weekend. It’s amazing, because it used to be a French colony, and all the streets are Rue de la blah blah blah, and crap. And you can get the MOST amazing food here. French baguettes, croissants, pastries, wonderful chocolates, and the café culture is the best you’ll find this side of the Ural mountains. It’s actually so nice that we decided to stay until Monday and just start work on Tuesday. Last night we went and bought a ton of booze and were totally obnoxious and played Ring of Fire all night long.
I also taught everyone how to play this game called Shit. I used to play it all the time in high school with my friends, and I thought my new makeshift family would enjoy it. It’s like uno, but with about 40 different stupid and confusing rules. You’re constantly messing up, and that’s part of the fun. Anyway, if you win, you get to make up a new rule. The French girls often spoke French, and Joel was like ‘If I win, I’m gonna rule that you can only speak English.’ Well, Devi won, so she made the rule that you could only speak French. This worked out better than expected, because everyone speaks French in some capacity, except for Joel. Then Vivian passed out and everyone drew all over her face. I know, we were like 14…but it was probably one of the funnest nights of my life. It might even be more memorable than the night that Jason and I got trashed in the Venetian hotel (‘Hotel Vienna’) owned by Chinese immigrants.
Or, you might be interested to know that Kush knows the actor who is playing Grindelwald in the upcoming HPmovies. He’s also in Sweeney Todd, and the Twilight movies. I know, somewhere, the Allens are crying.
Random other funny events have happened, but I guess I could share with you some cultural experiences too. For instance my Danish friend Korina has many Tamil friends, because she has already lived in Chennai for 3 months (and is now back for 6 weeks, and may come back to live for a year or something), so one night she invited me along to a friend’s house for dinner. This was a local, middle class house, and it was just wonderful to see an average, lived in household. I mean, I’ve seen some very poor households, and I tend to surround myself in pretty comfortable, western surrondings, so this was necessary. Anyway, in this house, everyone sleeps together in the living room, and there are only 3 rooms in the house. It’s India, of course, so everyone eats with their hands and on the floor.
Now, I suck at eating with my hands. I’ve tried like 3 times and it’s just pathetic. Everyone was laughing at me and I was like ‘What?! I’m trying here!’ and apparently you’re supposed to utilize your thumb as a kind of shovel, to move the food from your fingers to your mouth. So, that was an easy fix. Another thing you may not know about India is that people don’t use toilet paper. They actually think it’s disgusting. They use their left hand and water to clean down there. Now, I’m left-handed, which is a problem in India, because that’s the hand that should never be used for anything but dirty business.
Of course I never remember this. So, twice now, I’ve been caught eating with my left hand. The first time was last weekend, and this little girl who was probably 8 years old came up to me and just said ‘Right hand.’ And looked at me like I was a fucking dumbass. But this time, it was much nicer. With a coy smile, my hostess just asked ‘Are you left-handed?’ and I of course was instantly embarrassed and apoligzed, but they were the most gracious hosts imaginable. They were like ‘Do whatever’s comfortable! It’s ok! Use your left hand!’ They also offered me a spoon and fork, but I wasn’t gonna give up. So anyway we ate our food on the floor while listening to Evanescence and Michael Jackson videos on TV.
BTdubs, can I just say it’s RIDICULOUS how much more Michael Jackson is loved around the world than in the US?! Seriously, he was always on the radio in Europe, and anytime he came up, people only have wonderful things to say about him. It’s the same here in India! And all my European friends are just like ‘But he was acquitted! I love him!’ So weird. It makes me wonder what that says about American mindsets, since we’re so unforgiving.
Then, at the end of the night, I thanked them and they didn’t want us to leave at all, they actually wanted us to stay the night (or forever), but the most touching thing EVER happened. The matriarch of the family came to say goodbye, and first looked at her son. She said the tamil word for Son and pointed to him, then looked at me and upon touching my chin, said the same word again. She said I was her son!
Oh my gosh I almost cried. It’s amazing how wonderful people are in this country.
So right, a few days later, my Aussies were like ‘We’re going to this really awesome American place, you have to come.’ So I’m like ‘fuck yeah, I love my country’ So we go to this place called Sparky’s. Now, this is the most American place I’ve ever been to. It’s literally America themed. Everywhere you look, there are American license plates and kitsch and nostalgia. It was like TGI Fridays, but if the name was TGI America. Every table was dedicated to a state, and naturally, I was seated at the Texas table. There were all these postcards of Austin and such.
But THEN I was introduced to all the staff, because my Aussies go to this place like 4 times a week, and the staff is American, so naturally I’m like ‘ok let’s become best friends.’ So, yeah, just wait. This was our convo:
Them: So where are you from?
J: Chicago. You?
Them: Oh! We’re from Minneapolis.
J: Oh, duh. Sorry. I just lied. I’m so used to meeting foreigners, who have never heard of where I’m from so I just say Chicago. But I’m from Iowa.
Them: What?! We were born and raised in Iowa!
J: Realy?! Where?! (imagine me FREAKING OUT , almost screaming and laughing hysterically)
Them: Webster City and Sioux City. We met at school, we went to Iowa State.
J: HA I go to Iowa!
Them: Oh we were just there! Where’d you grow up?
J: Right around Iowa City, in this town called Tipton??
Them: We drove through that town on the way to Davnport!
I know. It was awesome and stupid and amazing. This couple literally just decided to move to India for a couple years. How wonderful. I keep meeting all these people who have made similar plans. So anyway the food was AWESOME , they had everything from hot wings to mashed potatoes to lasagna to tacos to hot fudge sundaes, and the funny thing was that my Danish friends also came and they brought the Indians whose house I went to!
The Indians had never had western food before, and had never even used a fork, and It was sooo adorbable because they were terrified of our food. Like, they were so scared and barely touchd their food, and I had to teach them how to cut their lasagna, and it was just so funny. They kept saying ‘This is gonna make me so sick! I’m gonna get sick!’ and it was just as ironic as could be. Anyway, at the end of dinner, they informed me that if I ever return to Chennai, I do not have to worry about accommodation, because I am more than welcome to stay at their house :) It’d be pretty uncomfortable to sleep on the floor with five other people, but I’d do it for at least one night!
OH! OH my god. Yesterday we all went to this town called Auroville outside Pondicherry. It’s this town where people migrate to from around the world (there are like 94 countries represented) to be hippies and live together and denounce religion and instead serve ‘The mother’, who founded their community in the 60s….in other words, IT WAS A HUGE CULT. It was literally the Dharma Initiative meets Scientology! I’m not even kidding. We had to watch this movie and it was JUST LIKE you’d imagine it. There were all these scrolling words over a backdrop of the universe and it was FUCKED UP but awesome and hilarious. There’s this big copper golf ball in the middle of the compound (and when I say big, I mean BIG. It’s like 10 stories) that they call their soul. They kept stressing that they only welcome people who are ‘serious and sincere’ so I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out. I wish I could say more about this place, but I literally just laughed nonstop for like 6 hours because the entire area was so ridiculous. And Don’t EVEN give me that shit about openmindedness or tolerance, because it was a fucking cult.
In other news, my placement sucks. It’s like…I don’t know, I mean, India is very different from the west in how actual work is done. Like, there is really hardly any sense of timeliness. If you plan to meet someone at 2:00, be ready to wait until 3:30, and that’s not considered rude or out of the ordinary. It’s like hanging out with John all the time. But it’s so strange how that’s the case at work, too! Not just in social situations. But anyway, it’s very hard to find work at my placement, because it’s all about independence. They’re all like ‘Well what do you want to do? You can do whatever you want!’ and I’m like I don’t fuckin know! I’m not a social worker! Just give me a task and I’ll do it. So, I’ve just latched myself onto my Aussie friends. They’re the biggest self-starters you’ll ever meet, so they’re constantly having seminars and giving presentations and organizing events and shit, so I literally was like ‘Umm can I be your personal assistant?’ and they’re like ‘oh my god no! It won’t be like that!’ and I’m like ‘PLEASE. Let it be like that. Please, I need direction.’ So, my current and probably only assignment is to create an hour long powerpoint about Global Warming for a seminar this week.
But yeah, I’m already on day 17. That means that tomorrow, my time in India will be 2/3 done. I cannot BELIEVE how quickly time has gone. I will honestly be very sad to leave this insane country and my wonderful new friends behind (they’re all making plans to travel together after I’m gone! Sad, and I introduced them all! This always happens to me lol), but I’m still very excited for Bangkok. Oh yeah, I’m going to fucking BANGKOK. I cant believe this is my life.
Oh and Twilight is on TV, even in India. Fuck.
- Josh
I’m sorry that I’ve been quite flaky lately. It’s been much harder lately to motivate myself to write a blog entry. Ok, motivate’s a bad word. I mean, it’s harder to talk about my experiences and just form a coherent stream of thoughts that would be interesting to read, now that I’m actually used to this place. My life has become somewhat routine, and this quite nice, but it’s less exciting. However, I have had some really great experiences I would love to share with you. Furthermore, I’m constantly thinking about so many things, that I am so mentally exhausted most of the time. Add to that the fact that I still haven’t gotten on a regular sleep schedule and it’s about 95 degrees, and I’m also very physically exhausted.
So, I guess I’d say my great experiences can be divided into two categories: Cultural and funtimes. Haha. I mean, to be fair, every single fucking second in India is a cultural experience, so I’ve really been coming to appreciate the funtimes. This is why I don't feel about clinging to Western comforts. You HAVE to sometimes. I guess I’ve kind of formed a kind of make-shift little family/support system here with my fellow westerners who are also trying their best to adjust to this crazy new world. There are Vivian and Joel, two Australians who volunteer at MCCSS also. They’re just a riot, and I think they may secretly be in love. Then there are Kush and Jen, two Brits interning at a law firm in Chennai, who are here through the same program I am. Jen actually has this dickhead of a landlord, who EVICTED her because she wasn’t happy with him, so she’s moving into MCCSS. Kush’s family are Indian migrants, so we kind of have an in when haggling and such. Then there’s Emily, another Brit, also here through the same program, but who lives 4 hours away at this adorable craft center for disabled children, and she works with these two wonderful French girls named Devi and Nathalie. Then there are my new Danish loves, Korina, Tea and Shoba, plus we just initiated two Germans who are moving into MCCSS tomorrow.
Currently, me and most of the people I have just listed are in this small seaside town called Pondicherry for the weekend. It’s amazing, because it used to be a French colony, and all the streets are Rue de la blah blah blah, and crap. And you can get the MOST amazing food here. French baguettes, croissants, pastries, wonderful chocolates, and the café culture is the best you’ll find this side of the Ural mountains. It’s actually so nice that we decided to stay until Monday and just start work on Tuesday. Last night we went and bought a ton of booze and were totally obnoxious and played Ring of Fire all night long.
I also taught everyone how to play this game called Shit. I used to play it all the time in high school with my friends, and I thought my new makeshift family would enjoy it. It’s like uno, but with about 40 different stupid and confusing rules. You’re constantly messing up, and that’s part of the fun. Anyway, if you win, you get to make up a new rule. The French girls often spoke French, and Joel was like ‘If I win, I’m gonna rule that you can only speak English.’ Well, Devi won, so she made the rule that you could only speak French. This worked out better than expected, because everyone speaks French in some capacity, except for Joel. Then Vivian passed out and everyone drew all over her face. I know, we were like 14…but it was probably one of the funnest nights of my life. It might even be more memorable than the night that Jason and I got trashed in the Venetian hotel (‘Hotel Vienna’) owned by Chinese immigrants.
Or, you might be interested to know that Kush knows the actor who is playing Grindelwald in the upcoming HPmovies. He’s also in Sweeney Todd, and the Twilight movies. I know, somewhere, the Allens are crying.
Random other funny events have happened, but I guess I could share with you some cultural experiences too. For instance my Danish friend Korina has many Tamil friends, because she has already lived in Chennai for 3 months (and is now back for 6 weeks, and may come back to live for a year or something), so one night she invited me along to a friend’s house for dinner. This was a local, middle class house, and it was just wonderful to see an average, lived in household. I mean, I’ve seen some very poor households, and I tend to surround myself in pretty comfortable, western surrondings, so this was necessary. Anyway, in this house, everyone sleeps together in the living room, and there are only 3 rooms in the house. It’s India, of course, so everyone eats with their hands and on the floor.
Now, I suck at eating with my hands. I’ve tried like 3 times and it’s just pathetic. Everyone was laughing at me and I was like ‘What?! I’m trying here!’ and apparently you’re supposed to utilize your thumb as a kind of shovel, to move the food from your fingers to your mouth. So, that was an easy fix. Another thing you may not know about India is that people don’t use toilet paper. They actually think it’s disgusting. They use their left hand and water to clean down there. Now, I’m left-handed, which is a problem in India, because that’s the hand that should never be used for anything but dirty business.
Of course I never remember this. So, twice now, I’ve been caught eating with my left hand. The first time was last weekend, and this little girl who was probably 8 years old came up to me and just said ‘Right hand.’ And looked at me like I was a fucking dumbass. But this time, it was much nicer. With a coy smile, my hostess just asked ‘Are you left-handed?’ and I of course was instantly embarrassed and apoligzed, but they were the most gracious hosts imaginable. They were like ‘Do whatever’s comfortable! It’s ok! Use your left hand!’ They also offered me a spoon and fork, but I wasn’t gonna give up. So anyway we ate our food on the floor while listening to Evanescence and Michael Jackson videos on TV.
BTdubs, can I just say it’s RIDICULOUS how much more Michael Jackson is loved around the world than in the US?! Seriously, he was always on the radio in Europe, and anytime he came up, people only have wonderful things to say about him. It’s the same here in India! And all my European friends are just like ‘But he was acquitted! I love him!’ So weird. It makes me wonder what that says about American mindsets, since we’re so unforgiving.
Then, at the end of the night, I thanked them and they didn’t want us to leave at all, they actually wanted us to stay the night (or forever), but the most touching thing EVER happened. The matriarch of the family came to say goodbye, and first looked at her son. She said the tamil word for Son and pointed to him, then looked at me and upon touching my chin, said the same word again. She said I was her son!
Oh my gosh I almost cried. It’s amazing how wonderful people are in this country.
So right, a few days later, my Aussies were like ‘We’re going to this really awesome American place, you have to come.’ So I’m like ‘fuck yeah, I love my country’ So we go to this place called Sparky’s. Now, this is the most American place I’ve ever been to. It’s literally America themed. Everywhere you look, there are American license plates and kitsch and nostalgia. It was like TGI Fridays, but if the name was TGI America. Every table was dedicated to a state, and naturally, I was seated at the Texas table. There were all these postcards of Austin and such.
But THEN I was introduced to all the staff, because my Aussies go to this place like 4 times a week, and the staff is American, so naturally I’m like ‘ok let’s become best friends.’ So, yeah, just wait. This was our convo:
Them: So where are you from?
J: Chicago. You?
Them: Oh! We’re from Minneapolis.
J: Oh, duh. Sorry. I just lied. I’m so used to meeting foreigners, who have never heard of where I’m from so I just say Chicago. But I’m from Iowa.
Them: What?! We were born and raised in Iowa!
J: Realy?! Where?! (imagine me FREAKING OUT , almost screaming and laughing hysterically)
Them: Webster City and Sioux City. We met at school, we went to Iowa State.
J: HA I go to Iowa!
Them: Oh we were just there! Where’d you grow up?
J: Right around Iowa City, in this town called Tipton??
Them: We drove through that town on the way to Davnport!
I know. It was awesome and stupid and amazing. This couple literally just decided to move to India for a couple years. How wonderful. I keep meeting all these people who have made similar plans. So anyway the food was AWESOME , they had everything from hot wings to mashed potatoes to lasagna to tacos to hot fudge sundaes, and the funny thing was that my Danish friends also came and they brought the Indians whose house I went to!
The Indians had never had western food before, and had never even used a fork, and It was sooo adorbable because they were terrified of our food. Like, they were so scared and barely touchd their food, and I had to teach them how to cut their lasagna, and it was just so funny. They kept saying ‘This is gonna make me so sick! I’m gonna get sick!’ and it was just as ironic as could be. Anyway, at the end of dinner, they informed me that if I ever return to Chennai, I do not have to worry about accommodation, because I am more than welcome to stay at their house :) It’d be pretty uncomfortable to sleep on the floor with five other people, but I’d do it for at least one night!
OH! OH my god. Yesterday we all went to this town called Auroville outside Pondicherry. It’s this town where people migrate to from around the world (there are like 94 countries represented) to be hippies and live together and denounce religion and instead serve ‘The mother’, who founded their community in the 60s….in other words, IT WAS A HUGE CULT. It was literally the Dharma Initiative meets Scientology! I’m not even kidding. We had to watch this movie and it was JUST LIKE you’d imagine it. There were all these scrolling words over a backdrop of the universe and it was FUCKED UP but awesome and hilarious. There’s this big copper golf ball in the middle of the compound (and when I say big, I mean BIG. It’s like 10 stories) that they call their soul. They kept stressing that they only welcome people who are ‘serious and sincere’ so I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out. I wish I could say more about this place, but I literally just laughed nonstop for like 6 hours because the entire area was so ridiculous. And Don’t EVEN give me that shit about openmindedness or tolerance, because it was a fucking cult.
In other news, my placement sucks. It’s like…I don’t know, I mean, India is very different from the west in how actual work is done. Like, there is really hardly any sense of timeliness. If you plan to meet someone at 2:00, be ready to wait until 3:30, and that’s not considered rude or out of the ordinary. It’s like hanging out with John all the time. But it’s so strange how that’s the case at work, too! Not just in social situations. But anyway, it’s very hard to find work at my placement, because it’s all about independence. They’re all like ‘Well what do you want to do? You can do whatever you want!’ and I’m like I don’t fuckin know! I’m not a social worker! Just give me a task and I’ll do it. So, I’ve just latched myself onto my Aussie friends. They’re the biggest self-starters you’ll ever meet, so they’re constantly having seminars and giving presentations and organizing events and shit, so I literally was like ‘Umm can I be your personal assistant?’ and they’re like ‘oh my god no! It won’t be like that!’ and I’m like ‘PLEASE. Let it be like that. Please, I need direction.’ So, my current and probably only assignment is to create an hour long powerpoint about Global Warming for a seminar this week.
But yeah, I’m already on day 17. That means that tomorrow, my time in India will be 2/3 done. I cannot BELIEVE how quickly time has gone. I will honestly be very sad to leave this insane country and my wonderful new friends behind (they’re all making plans to travel together after I’m gone! Sad, and I introduced them all! This always happens to me lol), but I’m still very excited for Bangkok. Oh yeah, I’m going to fucking BANGKOK. I cant believe this is my life.
Oh and Twilight is on TV, even in India. Fuck.
- Josh
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Cracka
So, I’m gonna talk about being white. This is because since my arrival in India, I have learned a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘white privilege.’ You see, even though I am half white, and half latino, I still recognize and have always recognized that I am socioeconomically white. I look white, I identify with white culture, I don’t speak Spanish, I have an American accent, and I grew up in a household with an income very close to that of my peers’ parents. However, I do still consider myself ethnically of mixed heritage. I mean, it doesn’t matter if I consider myself to be Canadian, phenotypically speaking, you are what you are. I just mean that I will not shy away from my heritage. I am not exactly a leader in cultural exchange among my peers, but I do embrace and am proud of my Mexican American background (though I realize that my experience as a Mexican American is completely different from the experience of most other Mexican Americans, but maybe I’ll talk about this more later), as much as I am proud to be gay. I understand that I would not be the same person I am today or have the same outlook on the world if I were not of mixed heritage, specifically white and Mexican American, and gay. Sometimes, I wish I were a woman, or jewish (a Mexican jew!) just so I could have the complete package. I am left-handed though.
Right. So anyway, my ultimate point is that, even though I would usually be classified as an outsider looking in, I really feel as though I have spent most of my life as a part of the privileged masses. Growing up, neither my ethnicity nor sexual orientation were ever that big of a deal that I felt as though I was part of an oppressed minority. Growing up in Iowa has its perks, and I feel that I was extremely lucky to grow up there, for many reasons. I mean, Iowa is a progressive state. It may not be a liberal state, but I think most would agree that Iowa (and especially southeastern Iowa) is a progressive place, although there is definitely a small-town attitude in many ways.
This is something that definitely came through in the attitudes of the people I went to high school with. I feel, in general, that while most people in small-town southeastern Iowa may not exactly be world travellers or intellectually open-minded, they tend to view the different with a tinge of curiosity, rather than judgment. I mean, gossip still abounds and attention can be very annoying, but I will always defend the small town area that I grew up in as not being your typical rural environment. I mean, remember how Solon’s choir director came out as gay to his entire choir and it was totally cool and they all still loved him? And remember how we had teachers like Mr. Wilkins and Mrs. Cary and Mrs. B who would just take off time from school or spend their summers going on trips to Africa and China and Europe? Or how there were minorities like Susan or myself or Patrick at Tipton, but I never once witnessed that being a problem?
Being gay had its downside sometimes, but I will still admit that I never lost a friend over the fact that I was attracted to boys. If anything, I changed the attitudes of many friends. I actually changed Winston’s attitudes so much that when he was supposed to write a paper about one person who has changed his life for the better, he chose me (I have it! Winston so could not write formally in tenth grade, it’s hilarious. But the actual assignment is so sweet)! And there were lots of people who weren’t even my friends, but stuck up for my right to be gay to people they didn’t have to. I had teachers who would call out their students for saying things like ‘that’s gay’ and I know that more than once, in a class discussion here or there, people would randomly just wax poetic about their support for gay rights. I don’t know if this was just to let me know they were on my side or because they wanted everyone to know how they felt, but I couldn’t help but be really grateful to be surrounded by these people.
To be fair, there was always gossip, but I don’t give a fuck about that. I never have. I was never held back from scholarships or esteemed positions at my school. I was still in NHS and somehow elected to Homecoming Court (still SO funny, I don’t even know how this happened) and was VP of Concert Choir and won scholarships, and when I go back to visit Tipton, it’s never even an issue. And I mean, everyone knows it too. It’s not like oh they just don’t know. I remember Mrs. Johnson even knowing senior year, and people telling me that their parents would be like ‘So…why doesn’t Josh have a girlfriend?’ in really obvious tones and shit. But it’s like, when I go back, people are so friendly to me and I’m always so amazed at how welcome I still feel in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere. And all these weird little like, 16 year olds still add me to facebook, and I have no idea why, but at least the fact that I’m probably just ‘that gay guy who graduated awhile ago’ doesn’t deter them from adding me.
And honestly, I will always be thankful for this. I could have grown up in Texas, surrounded by anti-gay policies and attitudes, or in Utah or something with the crazy Mormons and been the next Matthew Shepard, or even in southwest Iowa, where I’ve heard being a democrat is on par with supporting child molestation. Currently, I could even marry a man in Iowa! WTF right?!
SO ANYWAY again, my point: I have been extremely lucky to always feel as though I was a culturally, economically and in all-but-name-only part of the privileged majority, rather than the oppressed minority. My vantage point has always been from an American viewpoint though. Now, I’m in India.
Yeah. So, right. It’s like, ok. So I really feel that in the US, if someone from Africa or India or South America (or really anywhere that’s not western Europe) were to come to the US, they would probably be viewed with a lot of negative attitudes by quite a few people. Like, if a Kenyan tourist were to walk into Chanel, people would probably keep an eye on him. I don’t think that this is that ridiculous of an assumption, for many places in the US. Or like, if an American were walking down the street and they met someone wearing a traditional, Indian outfit, they would be likely to wonder why this person is in their country, but probably wouldn’t feel the need to engage them in conversation or invite them into their home. If they did, it’d probably like ‘Umm….this is weird.’ Right? And the same would be true for someone from Europe or Australia, but I feel like if someone was of a darker complexion or of an eastern descent, one would even less likely to embrace their presence. Overall, I feel Americans would probably be thinking that this person was extremely lucky to be able to visit our rich, free, democratic country, and that wherever they live probably isn’t as nice or privileged or even wonder if they’re a refugee, without really any reason to assume that they’re from a war-torn country. And this goes beyond race, but to every minority group. Like, if the average American saw a transgendered person walking down the street, the first reaction would probably be ‘hmm this is so fucking weird’ not compassion or interest. I feel like I could make similar arguments with Mormans (hello, me), homeless people, maybe even amputees or anyone really who doesn’t fit this model that we construct of what normal is.
This is because we as Americans grow up in this kind of bubble. Like, we are the most powerful country in the world, and we define the world order, culturally, economically, politically, etc etc. Our pop music is the world’s pop music, our politicians are world politicians. We control the oil market and churn out the leading scientists and academics, and the list goes on and on, but in every way, as I said in an earlier post, we are in the ‘American age.’ So, we don’t have to know what’s going on in the middle east or what the Basque separatist group is fighting for or what the capital of Hungary is because we are so privileged that none of it really matters to our well-being. We as a state will always be safe and secure, and have access to oil and water and electricity, and our economy most likely will never collapse, and we will always continue to pursue a foreign policy of US Interest, first and foremost. Though things like 9/11 happen, they really still serve to increase our global power and domination.
Coming to a country like India has very much proven to me how this is so true. It’s so jarring to walk down the street here, because there is garbage EVERYWHERE, but I also realize that is only because of western imperialism. We spread capitalism, and other countries need or want to catch up, but states like India lack the infrastructure to do so as gracefully as Western Europe. So, they still consume and they still want to make more money, but there’s no system to deal with all the waste this creates. There’s no welfare system to take care of the elderly, who don’t quite understand the effects of globalization or why their culture is slowly but surely eroding as Dominos and Pizza Huts pop up along the most wealthy avenues.
As a white person in India, I am now witness to many far-flung effects of the current world order (which, for a lack of a better phrase, puts the white, rich countries, starting first and foremost with the US, at the top). Due to the colonial history of India, I actually expected to perhaps be met with some hostility. However, I soon learned that nothing could be further from the truth. I may have mentioned this before, but Indians treat white people as though we are foreign diplomats. Elderly women (yes, elderly women) will get up on the bus so that a white person may have their seat. As my Danish friends ran to catch a train, it literally stopped in its tracks so they could get on, and people did not hesitate to tell them that this would not have happened if their skin was dark.
I think that occurrences like these may be somewhat expected or unsurprising for someone who is educated or well traveled, but today I found out something very interesting about my placement. You see, I haven’t really done much yet as a volunteer. In essence, I’ve just been introduced to a lot of people and shown around. A lot. Though I knew that only being here for four weeks wouldn’t exactly give me the opportunity to change the world, this has still been frustrating. However, after speaking with someone who has volunteered here for many months, I learned something very illuminating.
You see, my friend’s theory is this. Since I am white, I am able to influence others in ways that I can’t even imagine. Like, the simple fact that I am here is enough to make MCCSS (where I am staying) want to parade me around. Showing off the fact that a white person has given up their time and money to visit India and volunteer with them gives them clout. Though I may not actually do very much in my time here, perhaps I’ll inadvertently persuade someone to donate money to this organization.
Or another thing. I have been told many times that hopefully, I will get the chance to speak with the people who this organization works for. Like, they would love it very much if I could talk with the sex workers or homeless children or whoever and just interact with them. At first, this seemed strange. Like, why the fuck would someone who has real problems and issues, like hmmm do I have HIV? Hmmm should try to find somewhere to live or a job even though I’m only 12, want to speak with me? To me, it seems like it’d be very insensitive to just go up to these sex workers, who might have AIDS, and start asking them all these questions about their sex life and whether their pimp abuses them and if they know what condoms are. Ya know? Like, I don’t want to come off as someone who looks at these poor people as freaks or a spectacle. I am perfectly happy with communicating with them and getting to know these people, but I don’t feel the need to interview them or give them advice, because I don’t know one fucking thing about their life or situation and I respect them enough to let them be. I didn’t come here to talk with people. I came here to give my time to an organization. Whether that meant painting a wall, cleaning a desk, filing paperwork, running errands, or helping them spread the word about a self-help group, it didn’t matter. But I didn’t come to be…I dunno, an insensitive westerner.
But, that’s not how the professionals I work for see it. My friend explained it to me pretty simply. Because I’m white, I have clout. People are likely to listen to me, because I’m white. People want to talk with me, because I’m white. People have a sense of respect for me, because I’m white. At first, this didn’t make sense, but when I thought about it, it made total sense. Remember the elderly women on the bus? That’s nothing. What about the random people walking down the street who stop me and ask if we can take a picture together? What about the school children I visited the other night, who could not stop coming up to me and asking ‘Hello how are you?’ and wanting to know my name and hold my hand and just smile at me?
We, as westerners, are powerful. I, as a white westerner, am very powerful. It’s just ridiculously fascinating, because now that I’m in India, I have a whole different outlook on race and the world. I mean, I’ve known for quite some time now how lucky I am to be named Josh Anderson, not Jose Sandoval, and I’ve often wondered why it was that my mother didn’t choose a more ethnic name. Perhaps she did this on purpose, perhaps she didn’t. I’ve also known how lucky I am to look very white, and grow up in a white community. Though I definitely missed out on the obvious cultural experiences that a less homogenous area would provide, all of these things have come together to create a recipe in which my life has been a piece of cake, virtually free of prejudice or discrimination, and accepted by the privileged majority. But this is all within America. This all has to do with my experiences within the the boundaries of the 50 state. Here I am in India, where I’m very much in the minority ethnically, and I’m perhaps even more privileged than I’ve ever known. I hope this is as interesting to you guys as it is to me, and I would honestly love to hear about anyone's experiences travelling abroad when it comes to this topic.
I shall think about this more, and perhaps post an afterthought or two.
Right. So anyway, my ultimate point is that, even though I would usually be classified as an outsider looking in, I really feel as though I have spent most of my life as a part of the privileged masses. Growing up, neither my ethnicity nor sexual orientation were ever that big of a deal that I felt as though I was part of an oppressed minority. Growing up in Iowa has its perks, and I feel that I was extremely lucky to grow up there, for many reasons. I mean, Iowa is a progressive state. It may not be a liberal state, but I think most would agree that Iowa (and especially southeastern Iowa) is a progressive place, although there is definitely a small-town attitude in many ways.
This is something that definitely came through in the attitudes of the people I went to high school with. I feel, in general, that while most people in small-town southeastern Iowa may not exactly be world travellers or intellectually open-minded, they tend to view the different with a tinge of curiosity, rather than judgment. I mean, gossip still abounds and attention can be very annoying, but I will always defend the small town area that I grew up in as not being your typical rural environment. I mean, remember how Solon’s choir director came out as gay to his entire choir and it was totally cool and they all still loved him? And remember how we had teachers like Mr. Wilkins and Mrs. Cary and Mrs. B who would just take off time from school or spend their summers going on trips to Africa and China and Europe? Or how there were minorities like Susan or myself or Patrick at Tipton, but I never once witnessed that being a problem?
Being gay had its downside sometimes, but I will still admit that I never lost a friend over the fact that I was attracted to boys. If anything, I changed the attitudes of many friends. I actually changed Winston’s attitudes so much that when he was supposed to write a paper about one person who has changed his life for the better, he chose me (I have it! Winston so could not write formally in tenth grade, it’s hilarious. But the actual assignment is so sweet)! And there were lots of people who weren’t even my friends, but stuck up for my right to be gay to people they didn’t have to. I had teachers who would call out their students for saying things like ‘that’s gay’ and I know that more than once, in a class discussion here or there, people would randomly just wax poetic about their support for gay rights. I don’t know if this was just to let me know they were on my side or because they wanted everyone to know how they felt, but I couldn’t help but be really grateful to be surrounded by these people.
To be fair, there was always gossip, but I don’t give a fuck about that. I never have. I was never held back from scholarships or esteemed positions at my school. I was still in NHS and somehow elected to Homecoming Court (still SO funny, I don’t even know how this happened) and was VP of Concert Choir and won scholarships, and when I go back to visit Tipton, it’s never even an issue. And I mean, everyone knows it too. It’s not like oh they just don’t know. I remember Mrs. Johnson even knowing senior year, and people telling me that their parents would be like ‘So…why doesn’t Josh have a girlfriend?’ in really obvious tones and shit. But it’s like, when I go back, people are so friendly to me and I’m always so amazed at how welcome I still feel in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere. And all these weird little like, 16 year olds still add me to facebook, and I have no idea why, but at least the fact that I’m probably just ‘that gay guy who graduated awhile ago’ doesn’t deter them from adding me.
And honestly, I will always be thankful for this. I could have grown up in Texas, surrounded by anti-gay policies and attitudes, or in Utah or something with the crazy Mormons and been the next Matthew Shepard, or even in southwest Iowa, where I’ve heard being a democrat is on par with supporting child molestation. Currently, I could even marry a man in Iowa! WTF right?!
SO ANYWAY again, my point: I have been extremely lucky to always feel as though I was a culturally, economically and in all-but-name-only part of the privileged majority, rather than the oppressed minority. My vantage point has always been from an American viewpoint though. Now, I’m in India.
Yeah. So, right. It’s like, ok. So I really feel that in the US, if someone from Africa or India or South America (or really anywhere that’s not western Europe) were to come to the US, they would probably be viewed with a lot of negative attitudes by quite a few people. Like, if a Kenyan tourist were to walk into Chanel, people would probably keep an eye on him. I don’t think that this is that ridiculous of an assumption, for many places in the US. Or like, if an American were walking down the street and they met someone wearing a traditional, Indian outfit, they would be likely to wonder why this person is in their country, but probably wouldn’t feel the need to engage them in conversation or invite them into their home. If they did, it’d probably like ‘Umm….this is weird.’ Right? And the same would be true for someone from Europe or Australia, but I feel like if someone was of a darker complexion or of an eastern descent, one would even less likely to embrace their presence. Overall, I feel Americans would probably be thinking that this person was extremely lucky to be able to visit our rich, free, democratic country, and that wherever they live probably isn’t as nice or privileged or even wonder if they’re a refugee, without really any reason to assume that they’re from a war-torn country. And this goes beyond race, but to every minority group. Like, if the average American saw a transgendered person walking down the street, the first reaction would probably be ‘hmm this is so fucking weird’ not compassion or interest. I feel like I could make similar arguments with Mormans (hello, me), homeless people, maybe even amputees or anyone really who doesn’t fit this model that we construct of what normal is.
This is because we as Americans grow up in this kind of bubble. Like, we are the most powerful country in the world, and we define the world order, culturally, economically, politically, etc etc. Our pop music is the world’s pop music, our politicians are world politicians. We control the oil market and churn out the leading scientists and academics, and the list goes on and on, but in every way, as I said in an earlier post, we are in the ‘American age.’ So, we don’t have to know what’s going on in the middle east or what the Basque separatist group is fighting for or what the capital of Hungary is because we are so privileged that none of it really matters to our well-being. We as a state will always be safe and secure, and have access to oil and water and electricity, and our economy most likely will never collapse, and we will always continue to pursue a foreign policy of US Interest, first and foremost. Though things like 9/11 happen, they really still serve to increase our global power and domination.
Coming to a country like India has very much proven to me how this is so true. It’s so jarring to walk down the street here, because there is garbage EVERYWHERE, but I also realize that is only because of western imperialism. We spread capitalism, and other countries need or want to catch up, but states like India lack the infrastructure to do so as gracefully as Western Europe. So, they still consume and they still want to make more money, but there’s no system to deal with all the waste this creates. There’s no welfare system to take care of the elderly, who don’t quite understand the effects of globalization or why their culture is slowly but surely eroding as Dominos and Pizza Huts pop up along the most wealthy avenues.
As a white person in India, I am now witness to many far-flung effects of the current world order (which, for a lack of a better phrase, puts the white, rich countries, starting first and foremost with the US, at the top). Due to the colonial history of India, I actually expected to perhaps be met with some hostility. However, I soon learned that nothing could be further from the truth. I may have mentioned this before, but Indians treat white people as though we are foreign diplomats. Elderly women (yes, elderly women) will get up on the bus so that a white person may have their seat. As my Danish friends ran to catch a train, it literally stopped in its tracks so they could get on, and people did not hesitate to tell them that this would not have happened if their skin was dark.
I think that occurrences like these may be somewhat expected or unsurprising for someone who is educated or well traveled, but today I found out something very interesting about my placement. You see, I haven’t really done much yet as a volunteer. In essence, I’ve just been introduced to a lot of people and shown around. A lot. Though I knew that only being here for four weeks wouldn’t exactly give me the opportunity to change the world, this has still been frustrating. However, after speaking with someone who has volunteered here for many months, I learned something very illuminating.
You see, my friend’s theory is this. Since I am white, I am able to influence others in ways that I can’t even imagine. Like, the simple fact that I am here is enough to make MCCSS (where I am staying) want to parade me around. Showing off the fact that a white person has given up their time and money to visit India and volunteer with them gives them clout. Though I may not actually do very much in my time here, perhaps I’ll inadvertently persuade someone to donate money to this organization.
Or another thing. I have been told many times that hopefully, I will get the chance to speak with the people who this organization works for. Like, they would love it very much if I could talk with the sex workers or homeless children or whoever and just interact with them. At first, this seemed strange. Like, why the fuck would someone who has real problems and issues, like hmmm do I have HIV? Hmmm should try to find somewhere to live or a job even though I’m only 12, want to speak with me? To me, it seems like it’d be very insensitive to just go up to these sex workers, who might have AIDS, and start asking them all these questions about their sex life and whether their pimp abuses them and if they know what condoms are. Ya know? Like, I don’t want to come off as someone who looks at these poor people as freaks or a spectacle. I am perfectly happy with communicating with them and getting to know these people, but I don’t feel the need to interview them or give them advice, because I don’t know one fucking thing about their life or situation and I respect them enough to let them be. I didn’t come here to talk with people. I came here to give my time to an organization. Whether that meant painting a wall, cleaning a desk, filing paperwork, running errands, or helping them spread the word about a self-help group, it didn’t matter. But I didn’t come to be…I dunno, an insensitive westerner.
But, that’s not how the professionals I work for see it. My friend explained it to me pretty simply. Because I’m white, I have clout. People are likely to listen to me, because I’m white. People want to talk with me, because I’m white. People have a sense of respect for me, because I’m white. At first, this didn’t make sense, but when I thought about it, it made total sense. Remember the elderly women on the bus? That’s nothing. What about the random people walking down the street who stop me and ask if we can take a picture together? What about the school children I visited the other night, who could not stop coming up to me and asking ‘Hello how are you?’ and wanting to know my name and hold my hand and just smile at me?
We, as westerners, are powerful. I, as a white westerner, am very powerful. It’s just ridiculously fascinating, because now that I’m in India, I have a whole different outlook on race and the world. I mean, I’ve known for quite some time now how lucky I am to be named Josh Anderson, not Jose Sandoval, and I’ve often wondered why it was that my mother didn’t choose a more ethnic name. Perhaps she did this on purpose, perhaps she didn’t. I’ve also known how lucky I am to look very white, and grow up in a white community. Though I definitely missed out on the obvious cultural experiences that a less homogenous area would provide, all of these things have come together to create a recipe in which my life has been a piece of cake, virtually free of prejudice or discrimination, and accepted by the privileged majority. But this is all within America. This all has to do with my experiences within the the boundaries of the 50 state. Here I am in India, where I’m very much in the minority ethnically, and I’m perhaps even more privileged than I’ve ever known. I hope this is as interesting to you guys as it is to me, and I would honestly love to hear about anyone's experiences travelling abroad when it comes to this topic.
I shall think about this more, and perhaps post an afterthought or two.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Random Thought: 27
Hi!
So, tonight I realized just how emotional I’ve been lately. I’m not gonna spend anymore time whining about my culture shock, but I do wanna tell you about my great night. This has definitely been the first great night of my time in India. Not to say that my time has been anything but very easy, assisted, and wonderful, but if someone asked me ‘How was your evening?’ I would definitely respond ‘It was SO great!’
Remember how I mentioned that there were some Danish girls coming to volunteer also? Well, it turns out that they’re gifts from God. One of them actually has already volunteered here for three months, so she is perfectly familiar with not only the area we live in, but the entire city of Chennai. She speaks some of the language, and is so comfortable here, it’s amazing. She has brought a friend, who is in India for her first time, so I have many things in common with her. Anyway, they showed up yesterday and immediately, the experienced one (Corina) goes “Don’t worry. I will take you under my wing. I know this city, I can show you how to get everywhere, do anything, whatever.”
So we started talking, and immediately, this was so comforting because Corina told me that it took her well over a month to feel comfortable here, and that it’s perfectly understandable to be nervous or scared or anything, and that if I don’t feel comfortable with a certain assignment or task while at my placement, if I’m perfectly honest, no one will force me to do anything or go anywhere alone. So after like five minutes, Corina goes ‘We’re thinking of going to a movie tomorrow. Would you like to come?’ I’m thinking she means a Bollywood movie, but I’m not one to turn down any kind of social bonding experience, so I’m like ‘Totally. Are we thinking Hollywood? Bollywood? Calliwod?’ And she replies ‘Oh, American. Definitely.’
So, I’m thinking, cool, this should be fun. In fact, as soon as I arrived in the city, Jessie, the girl I met at my hotel, said ‘If you ever miss home, go to the movies. It’s great.’ And boy, could she not have been more right. We went to this brand new mall built only in August, that was SO nice. Totally powerful air conditioning, United Colors of Benneton, KFC, computer stores everywhere, I was in my western element. It’s so sad that I need these kind of comforts to feel better, but I am so over that. Anyway, going to an Indian mall is like going to a really bright club. American music is blaring everywhere. This time I heard Right Round and Californication. We went into a bookstore, and I found out that Stephanie Meyer even has shrines in south Asia. There was poster about Glee and how ‘You love the show. Now you can own the music.’ It was amazing and I don’t even watch Glee or read Twilight.
So then we go to the theatre, which is on the fourth floor, and get our tickets. We only had two options for the time we were there: Alice in Wonderland and Step Up 3D. Step Up sounds and looks stupid, so I vote for Alice, even though it’s equally as stupid, and I’ve seen it. But, I figured it’d be something familiar, if anything. Well, there are only three seats left. There are three of us, so it seems perfect, but then we find out that in India, seats are assigned, like on a plane. And the only 3 seats left aren’t next to each other. So, Step Up 3D it is. We walk into the next area, and we are officially now in a night club. It’s SHWANK. Like, the coolest, nicest theatre I’ve ever been to. With really comfortable seats.
Ok so I’m expecting this movie to suck. And in many ways, it did. But in many more ways, it was the most amazing movie I have ever seen. It was SO AMERICAN. I needed to be American tonight. I needed to hear American music and English and laugh at American jokes, it was so great. So great in fact, that I literally almost started crying. That sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I have been so emotional lately, and this was so great, that I almost started crying. My eyes welled up and everything. I’m so glad that the only time I’ve almost cried has been out of happiness, you have no idea. So I’m totally gonna buy this movie and it will always mean a lot to me. Oh and did you know the little girl from the Missy Elliot videos is in these movies? She’s all grown up now. I’ve never seen the first two, but that was enough to catch my interest from the start. She’s so white, it’s hilarious.
But let’s be honest. It was, in many ways, terrible. The writing and story were just nonsensical, and it was completely shot the way it was solely because it was in 3D. Entire scenes were based on the 3D effect. But whatever, it was fun. And it was loud and exciting and so enthralling to watch, so I’m not gonna complain. I loved every second of it. However, even though I was Americanizing it up, it was still a cultural experience. For instance, as soon as the movie starts, all the Indians go crazy. Like, you’d think you were at a basketball (cricket?) game. Everyone’s hooting and hollering and whistling b/c it’s so exciting. Then everytime something awesome happens (ie: a kiss, good dance move, etc), it all happens again. More whistles and cheering. And there’s an intermission. Isn’t that funny?
At my intermission, I had to pee, because I had ordered an Extra Large popcorn and an Extra Large Coke (this is more than I’ve ever ordered in the US), and when I went to the bathroom, every single urinal had its own personal LCD panel to watch movie previews. The only urinal that was free was the one with the broken LCD panel. I chose that one. So anyway, I went back to the movie, finished it, and Corina goes ‘I’d be willing to go to a movie every week if you want.’
HELL YES.
I feel so blessed. Honestly, this trip has been so great thus far because of the wonderful people I have met along the way. I will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for Danish people now, because they have made me feel so welcome in countries that aren’t even their own. I absolutely HAVE to visit the country now, it’s even a priority. Luckily, these Danish girls are here as long as I am, so I’m definitely just in such gratitude of God right now. Like, I can’t even imagine what it’d be like if they weren’t here. I would just spend everyday uneasy at my work and every night bored in my room and with no one to relate to or connect with…and that just seems like it’d be so sad. And really there was no guarantee there’d be anyone here to hang out with. It wasn’t like I asked when I signed up, and I don’t know if ELI would have told me if that was the case.
OH! So I should tell you about my job. I don’t have one yet lol. I know, I’ve been here almost 6 days and I haven’t done anything yet. You see, I arrived on a weekend, and it was a holiday, so the center I’m volunteering at was closed. Then Monday, the guy that I’m supposed to assist was out sick. Then today, all I did was orientation. I met everyone, and learned all about the center. It’s actually a great place that does a lot of good work. It has six ongoing projects: HIV/STI awareness among sex workers, prevention of human trafficking in women and children, women in development, a short-stay home for victims of domestic violence, working with transgenders, and family counseling. It doesn’t have much money, but its staff is very educated and everyone here has a masters degree in social work. There’s also a clinical psychologist on staff. I’m planning on spending my time bouncing around from project to project. I learned a TON about micromanagement and finances and all this stuff that I never thought would happen here. I really want to learn more about fundraising and stuff.
OH! And I met an Australian girl who is working here but not living here, and she is actually here for like 3 months (the Danish girls are here for 6 weeks) and then travelling all over India, then volunteering some more in Kerala, then travelling all over Nepal, and is gonna be gone for like eight months total. Anyway, she’s working on the Human Trafficking project and I think I might assist her with some great projects. Like tomorrow, she’s taking some people who are staying in this shelter to a park to do some activities about self-esteem. Like putting on skits and playing games and giving advice. It all sounds awesome.
Oh! And this is so interesting: This is a Christian organization, so everyone who works here has an English name. Like, they’re totally Indian, but with English names. My boss or whatever in the HIV project is even named Joshua lol. The director of the entire center’s name is Isobel. There is also an Andrew (who LOVES country music. He loves Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, John Denver, the whole shebang), Alex and Christine.
Oh right. So anyway, I was planning on actually getting started with my job tomorrow. I was supposed to go with Joshua to a slum and see their center where they have self-help groups (yes, this is somewhat scary, but I won’t be alone, and everyone assures me that it’s safe, especially as a man), then visit a medical center, and meet the staff and everything, and maybe even meet some sex-workers. But then Krish, my coordinator through ELI calls me and tells me he wants to take me out to lunch tomorrow, and set up the internet in my room (THANK GOD). So I’m like, ok I’ll start the next day. Then, he tells me that he’s taking a bunch of English and American students to this town about 3 hours out of town the next day (Thursday) to see this museum which is all about traditional art in the 4 southern states of India. I was kind of hesitant, because this would be like 2 whole days off, but then he told me it’s set up by the Ford Foundation and is apparently one of the coolest places I can go while I’m here. And I’d get to spend the day with familiar faces. So, I was like ok whatever. So now I won’t start til Friday…then it’s the weekend lol. And then I have 2 weeks lol, which I’ll explain later.
All in all, it seems like a good place to volunteer. They told me that if I have some skills, I could teach the children at the short-stay home anything I want. So, I could like, teach them about math. Or give them English lessons. Or I could teach them how to use Photoshop. Lol, really anything at all I’d like to do, I can. Or I can just ask to do paperwork for a couple of days or whatever. So yeah, it’s very flexible. I think I’m really gonna spend most of my time learning, rather than actually volunteering though. This isn’t a problem, as I love learning, and non-profit management and social work are two careers I have considered, but at first I was like ‘Ugh. I paid $1000 to do nothing.’ But then I realized, no I didn’t. I paid $1000 (and then raised that much) to have someone pick me up at the airport, have a place to stay and kitchen to use, have a very helpful professional assist with anything I need, a tour of the city, and now a 3 hour trip to some museum. I’m totally ok with this. Because I could have just come right to this center and not paid nearly as much, but having the support is SO NICE. If I ever meet someone who wants to volunteer abroad, I will definitely recommend this NGO.
Oh, and I should get this out of the way now…I decided to make one tiiiiiiny little last tweak to my travel plans…..lol…..don’t judge me. I guess I’m always this indecisive though, so no one should be surprised. I realized last night that I’m going to be in Bangkok, but won’t see any of it, because I’m just flying in and out, and that this is stupid. And I was kind of freaking out about being here for like 27 days still, because I was being a pussy, and then I remembered how it only cost $10 to change my flight before….so I was like, hmm.
Sooooo then I decided to leave India 5 days early to go to Thailand!! Haha. I mean, really, it makes sense. I know that 2 months from now, I’ll look back on it all, and if I really didn’t take advantage of every opportunity I could, I’d regret it. I’ll definitely have a taste of India after 3 and a half weeks, and I won’t regret taking a month off of my trip, but I will regret not at least spending a couple days in Thailand, somewhere I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go. That, and it gives me some peace of mind. I’m gonna keep my flights to Bali the same, just change the date I fly out of India.
OH PS. MY FLIGHT RESERVATION WAS LOST. Yeah, I called them and they had NO record of my reservation. I don’t think I was ever booked on it, or they somehow cancelled it thru a glitch in the system. Or my travel agent fucked up. Regardless, I’m never using a travel agent again. I’m booking through websites, because this has never failed me. Can you imagine if I just showed up at the airport on October 12th and they were like ‘Sorry….you’re not on this flight.’ I would have had a nervous breakdown. I probably would have had to spend the night in the airport, and spend like $1000 on a last minute flight, or worse, had to find out there aren’t flights for like 3 days and what if I didn’t have a phone anymore? I don’t even know but THANK GOD I decided to spend a few days in Bangkok or I never would have found this out. Seriously right? I have a freaking guardian angel!
Luckily, a new flight only costs like $200. So I’m gonna book that tomorrow morning. I’m gonna aim for October 6th or 7th. And, like in Vietnam, I’m going all out. I have to at this point. If I’m not in very comfortable surroundings, where I can sleep easily, use my netbook, watch Grey’s, talk to Jason, and just relax for 4 or 5 days, I’m gonna go insane. Especially since I will have had 2 flights, and already spent a night in an airport (that too! This way I can get to Bali and NOT need to sleep for 24 straight hours). So I’m combing through resorts. I have found some SWEET places…and they only cost like $50 or $60 a night. I know! And that’s totally worth it. In the US, you’d pay well above $300 for a room in place like this. All these places have gorgeous pools, spas, massages, etc.
So yeah, I’m DEFINITELY looking forward to my time in Southeast Asia! I also realized today that right now really is the hardest part of my trip, and that it’s ok to be stressed right now. I’m just about to cross the halfway mark, and once I only have a couple weeks left in India, or less than a month til I’m home, so much of the pressure will be lifted off my shoulders. Ya know? Like the beginning of my trip was all exciting and new, and though I had a couple of lonely nights, I was fine. But right now, the middle, it makes sense that it’s stressful. And my total number of days in India will be like 27. I think I have 22 left now.
OKAY I’M DONE. But I love you guys and miss you all!
WAIT! I’m not done. I just want to tell one small story and make a necessary point. So, only 5 days in, I’ve really learned a LOT about the divide between the rich and the poor here, in more ways than one. Yesterday, I had nothing to do, so I just went along with some staff members to take some videos of some of their success stories. Andrew (country music guy) is a documentarian, so he’s making a video as kind of a commercial about the center, and they were interviewing a guy that got a small loan and started a flower business, and a woman who was in a self-help group and, well, helped herself. So we went to the woman’s house (room), and talked with her, and she told me that she makes 20 rupees a day. That’s 50 cents. She makes 50 cents a day. Ok remember that number. 20 rupees. So, that’s like, what? 140 rupees a week, 560 rupees a month. I went to the movies tonight, and it cost me 300 rupees. Can you imagine going to the movies and having to pay 300 dollars?? It’s like that in India. The rich have no trouble doing so, but the poor could probably never dream of it. It was also interesting to go to the movies, because it was so western. Everyone is wearing crocs and Abercrombie-type shirts and blue jeans,etc. It felt nice, of course, but was strange. Oh and I saw more white people. Whenever I see a white person now, I think to myself White Person!
Another thing I noticed was how much I really have in common with Europeans and Australians. I mean, I always knew that ‘the west’ was an entity that consisted of both Europe and the States, and I guess I always just associated it with money. Like, the west is rich, and the east is poor. Though, this is stupid, because I’ve taken enough anthro classes to know it’s much more than that. I even wrote a 5 page paper on it, but I guess in real life, I didn’t think of myself as identifying that strongly with anyone from the Anglophone world. But now, I realize that I have SO much in common emotionally and philosophically with other Westerners, without even making these points explicit. It’s like, regardless of ethnicity or accent or nationality, we are just drawn to each other for comfort, on one end or the other.This is probably one of the biggest revelations I’ve had thus far. Ya know? Like, instantly, I meet these Europeans and it’s like…we’re from the same town or something. It was the same in Bosnia with the other westerners I met. We instantly bonded because we were in a new, less developed, less Christian, less white place…without even trying, really.
- Josh A
So, tonight I realized just how emotional I’ve been lately. I’m not gonna spend anymore time whining about my culture shock, but I do wanna tell you about my great night. This has definitely been the first great night of my time in India. Not to say that my time has been anything but very easy, assisted, and wonderful, but if someone asked me ‘How was your evening?’ I would definitely respond ‘It was SO great!’
Remember how I mentioned that there were some Danish girls coming to volunteer also? Well, it turns out that they’re gifts from God. One of them actually has already volunteered here for three months, so she is perfectly familiar with not only the area we live in, but the entire city of Chennai. She speaks some of the language, and is so comfortable here, it’s amazing. She has brought a friend, who is in India for her first time, so I have many things in common with her. Anyway, they showed up yesterday and immediately, the experienced one (Corina) goes “Don’t worry. I will take you under my wing. I know this city, I can show you how to get everywhere, do anything, whatever.”
So we started talking, and immediately, this was so comforting because Corina told me that it took her well over a month to feel comfortable here, and that it’s perfectly understandable to be nervous or scared or anything, and that if I don’t feel comfortable with a certain assignment or task while at my placement, if I’m perfectly honest, no one will force me to do anything or go anywhere alone. So after like five minutes, Corina goes ‘We’re thinking of going to a movie tomorrow. Would you like to come?’ I’m thinking she means a Bollywood movie, but I’m not one to turn down any kind of social bonding experience, so I’m like ‘Totally. Are we thinking Hollywood? Bollywood? Calliwod?’ And she replies ‘Oh, American. Definitely.’
So, I’m thinking, cool, this should be fun. In fact, as soon as I arrived in the city, Jessie, the girl I met at my hotel, said ‘If you ever miss home, go to the movies. It’s great.’ And boy, could she not have been more right. We went to this brand new mall built only in August, that was SO nice. Totally powerful air conditioning, United Colors of Benneton, KFC, computer stores everywhere, I was in my western element. It’s so sad that I need these kind of comforts to feel better, but I am so over that. Anyway, going to an Indian mall is like going to a really bright club. American music is blaring everywhere. This time I heard Right Round and Californication. We went into a bookstore, and I found out that Stephanie Meyer even has shrines in south Asia. There was poster about Glee and how ‘You love the show. Now you can own the music.’ It was amazing and I don’t even watch Glee or read Twilight.
So then we go to the theatre, which is on the fourth floor, and get our tickets. We only had two options for the time we were there: Alice in Wonderland and Step Up 3D. Step Up sounds and looks stupid, so I vote for Alice, even though it’s equally as stupid, and I’ve seen it. But, I figured it’d be something familiar, if anything. Well, there are only three seats left. There are three of us, so it seems perfect, but then we find out that in India, seats are assigned, like on a plane. And the only 3 seats left aren’t next to each other. So, Step Up 3D it is. We walk into the next area, and we are officially now in a night club. It’s SHWANK. Like, the coolest, nicest theatre I’ve ever been to. With really comfortable seats.
Ok so I’m expecting this movie to suck. And in many ways, it did. But in many more ways, it was the most amazing movie I have ever seen. It was SO AMERICAN. I needed to be American tonight. I needed to hear American music and English and laugh at American jokes, it was so great. So great in fact, that I literally almost started crying. That sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I have been so emotional lately, and this was so great, that I almost started crying. My eyes welled up and everything. I’m so glad that the only time I’ve almost cried has been out of happiness, you have no idea. So I’m totally gonna buy this movie and it will always mean a lot to me. Oh and did you know the little girl from the Missy Elliot videos is in these movies? She’s all grown up now. I’ve never seen the first two, but that was enough to catch my interest from the start. She’s so white, it’s hilarious.
But let’s be honest. It was, in many ways, terrible. The writing and story were just nonsensical, and it was completely shot the way it was solely because it was in 3D. Entire scenes were based on the 3D effect. But whatever, it was fun. And it was loud and exciting and so enthralling to watch, so I’m not gonna complain. I loved every second of it. However, even though I was Americanizing it up, it was still a cultural experience. For instance, as soon as the movie starts, all the Indians go crazy. Like, you’d think you were at a basketball (cricket?) game. Everyone’s hooting and hollering and whistling b/c it’s so exciting. Then everytime something awesome happens (ie: a kiss, good dance move, etc), it all happens again. More whistles and cheering. And there’s an intermission. Isn’t that funny?
At my intermission, I had to pee, because I had ordered an Extra Large popcorn and an Extra Large Coke (this is more than I’ve ever ordered in the US), and when I went to the bathroom, every single urinal had its own personal LCD panel to watch movie previews. The only urinal that was free was the one with the broken LCD panel. I chose that one. So anyway, I went back to the movie, finished it, and Corina goes ‘I’d be willing to go to a movie every week if you want.’
HELL YES.
I feel so blessed. Honestly, this trip has been so great thus far because of the wonderful people I have met along the way. I will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for Danish people now, because they have made me feel so welcome in countries that aren’t even their own. I absolutely HAVE to visit the country now, it’s even a priority. Luckily, these Danish girls are here as long as I am, so I’m definitely just in such gratitude of God right now. Like, I can’t even imagine what it’d be like if they weren’t here. I would just spend everyday uneasy at my work and every night bored in my room and with no one to relate to or connect with…and that just seems like it’d be so sad. And really there was no guarantee there’d be anyone here to hang out with. It wasn’t like I asked when I signed up, and I don’t know if ELI would have told me if that was the case.
OH! So I should tell you about my job. I don’t have one yet lol. I know, I’ve been here almost 6 days and I haven’t done anything yet. You see, I arrived on a weekend, and it was a holiday, so the center I’m volunteering at was closed. Then Monday, the guy that I’m supposed to assist was out sick. Then today, all I did was orientation. I met everyone, and learned all about the center. It’s actually a great place that does a lot of good work. It has six ongoing projects: HIV/STI awareness among sex workers, prevention of human trafficking in women and children, women in development, a short-stay home for victims of domestic violence, working with transgenders, and family counseling. It doesn’t have much money, but its staff is very educated and everyone here has a masters degree in social work. There’s also a clinical psychologist on staff. I’m planning on spending my time bouncing around from project to project. I learned a TON about micromanagement and finances and all this stuff that I never thought would happen here. I really want to learn more about fundraising and stuff.
OH! And I met an Australian girl who is working here but not living here, and she is actually here for like 3 months (the Danish girls are here for 6 weeks) and then travelling all over India, then volunteering some more in Kerala, then travelling all over Nepal, and is gonna be gone for like eight months total. Anyway, she’s working on the Human Trafficking project and I think I might assist her with some great projects. Like tomorrow, she’s taking some people who are staying in this shelter to a park to do some activities about self-esteem. Like putting on skits and playing games and giving advice. It all sounds awesome.
Oh! And this is so interesting: This is a Christian organization, so everyone who works here has an English name. Like, they’re totally Indian, but with English names. My boss or whatever in the HIV project is even named Joshua lol. The director of the entire center’s name is Isobel. There is also an Andrew (who LOVES country music. He loves Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, John Denver, the whole shebang), Alex and Christine.
Oh right. So anyway, I was planning on actually getting started with my job tomorrow. I was supposed to go with Joshua to a slum and see their center where they have self-help groups (yes, this is somewhat scary, but I won’t be alone, and everyone assures me that it’s safe, especially as a man), then visit a medical center, and meet the staff and everything, and maybe even meet some sex-workers. But then Krish, my coordinator through ELI calls me and tells me he wants to take me out to lunch tomorrow, and set up the internet in my room (THANK GOD). So I’m like, ok I’ll start the next day. Then, he tells me that he’s taking a bunch of English and American students to this town about 3 hours out of town the next day (Thursday) to see this museum which is all about traditional art in the 4 southern states of India. I was kind of hesitant, because this would be like 2 whole days off, but then he told me it’s set up by the Ford Foundation and is apparently one of the coolest places I can go while I’m here. And I’d get to spend the day with familiar faces. So, I was like ok whatever. So now I won’t start til Friday…then it’s the weekend lol. And then I have 2 weeks lol, which I’ll explain later.
All in all, it seems like a good place to volunteer. They told me that if I have some skills, I could teach the children at the short-stay home anything I want. So, I could like, teach them about math. Or give them English lessons. Or I could teach them how to use Photoshop. Lol, really anything at all I’d like to do, I can. Or I can just ask to do paperwork for a couple of days or whatever. So yeah, it’s very flexible. I think I’m really gonna spend most of my time learning, rather than actually volunteering though. This isn’t a problem, as I love learning, and non-profit management and social work are two careers I have considered, but at first I was like ‘Ugh. I paid $1000 to do nothing.’ But then I realized, no I didn’t. I paid $1000 (and then raised that much) to have someone pick me up at the airport, have a place to stay and kitchen to use, have a very helpful professional assist with anything I need, a tour of the city, and now a 3 hour trip to some museum. I’m totally ok with this. Because I could have just come right to this center and not paid nearly as much, but having the support is SO NICE. If I ever meet someone who wants to volunteer abroad, I will definitely recommend this NGO.
Oh, and I should get this out of the way now…I decided to make one tiiiiiiny little last tweak to my travel plans…..lol…..don’t judge me. I guess I’m always this indecisive though, so no one should be surprised. I realized last night that I’m going to be in Bangkok, but won’t see any of it, because I’m just flying in and out, and that this is stupid. And I was kind of freaking out about being here for like 27 days still, because I was being a pussy, and then I remembered how it only cost $10 to change my flight before….so I was like, hmm.
Sooooo then I decided to leave India 5 days early to go to Thailand!! Haha. I mean, really, it makes sense. I know that 2 months from now, I’ll look back on it all, and if I really didn’t take advantage of every opportunity I could, I’d regret it. I’ll definitely have a taste of India after 3 and a half weeks, and I won’t regret taking a month off of my trip, but I will regret not at least spending a couple days in Thailand, somewhere I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go. That, and it gives me some peace of mind. I’m gonna keep my flights to Bali the same, just change the date I fly out of India.
OH PS. MY FLIGHT RESERVATION WAS LOST. Yeah, I called them and they had NO record of my reservation. I don’t think I was ever booked on it, or they somehow cancelled it thru a glitch in the system. Or my travel agent fucked up. Regardless, I’m never using a travel agent again. I’m booking through websites, because this has never failed me. Can you imagine if I just showed up at the airport on October 12th and they were like ‘Sorry….you’re not on this flight.’ I would have had a nervous breakdown. I probably would have had to spend the night in the airport, and spend like $1000 on a last minute flight, or worse, had to find out there aren’t flights for like 3 days and what if I didn’t have a phone anymore? I don’t even know but THANK GOD I decided to spend a few days in Bangkok or I never would have found this out. Seriously right? I have a freaking guardian angel!
Luckily, a new flight only costs like $200. So I’m gonna book that tomorrow morning. I’m gonna aim for October 6th or 7th. And, like in Vietnam, I’m going all out. I have to at this point. If I’m not in very comfortable surroundings, where I can sleep easily, use my netbook, watch Grey’s, talk to Jason, and just relax for 4 or 5 days, I’m gonna go insane. Especially since I will have had 2 flights, and already spent a night in an airport (that too! This way I can get to Bali and NOT need to sleep for 24 straight hours). So I’m combing through resorts. I have found some SWEET places…and they only cost like $50 or $60 a night. I know! And that’s totally worth it. In the US, you’d pay well above $300 for a room in place like this. All these places have gorgeous pools, spas, massages, etc.
So yeah, I’m DEFINITELY looking forward to my time in Southeast Asia! I also realized today that right now really is the hardest part of my trip, and that it’s ok to be stressed right now. I’m just about to cross the halfway mark, and once I only have a couple weeks left in India, or less than a month til I’m home, so much of the pressure will be lifted off my shoulders. Ya know? Like the beginning of my trip was all exciting and new, and though I had a couple of lonely nights, I was fine. But right now, the middle, it makes sense that it’s stressful. And my total number of days in India will be like 27. I think I have 22 left now.
OKAY I’M DONE. But I love you guys and miss you all!
WAIT! I’m not done. I just want to tell one small story and make a necessary point. So, only 5 days in, I’ve really learned a LOT about the divide between the rich and the poor here, in more ways than one. Yesterday, I had nothing to do, so I just went along with some staff members to take some videos of some of their success stories. Andrew (country music guy) is a documentarian, so he’s making a video as kind of a commercial about the center, and they were interviewing a guy that got a small loan and started a flower business, and a woman who was in a self-help group and, well, helped herself. So we went to the woman’s house (room), and talked with her, and she told me that she makes 20 rupees a day. That’s 50 cents. She makes 50 cents a day. Ok remember that number. 20 rupees. So, that’s like, what? 140 rupees a week, 560 rupees a month. I went to the movies tonight, and it cost me 300 rupees. Can you imagine going to the movies and having to pay 300 dollars?? It’s like that in India. The rich have no trouble doing so, but the poor could probably never dream of it. It was also interesting to go to the movies, because it was so western. Everyone is wearing crocs and Abercrombie-type shirts and blue jeans,etc. It felt nice, of course, but was strange. Oh and I saw more white people. Whenever I see a white person now, I think to myself White Person!
Another thing I noticed was how much I really have in common with Europeans and Australians. I mean, I always knew that ‘the west’ was an entity that consisted of both Europe and the States, and I guess I always just associated it with money. Like, the west is rich, and the east is poor. Though, this is stupid, because I’ve taken enough anthro classes to know it’s much more than that. I even wrote a 5 page paper on it, but I guess in real life, I didn’t think of myself as identifying that strongly with anyone from the Anglophone world. But now, I realize that I have SO much in common emotionally and philosophically with other Westerners, without even making these points explicit. It’s like, regardless of ethnicity or accent or nationality, we are just drawn to each other for comfort, on one end or the other.This is probably one of the biggest revelations I’ve had thus far. Ya know? Like, instantly, I meet these Europeans and it’s like…we’re from the same town or something. It was the same in Bosnia with the other westerners I met. We instantly bonded because we were in a new, less developed, less Christian, less white place…without even trying, really.
- Josh A
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Random Thoughts: 24 - 26
Update:
So, I'm in India, and I'm working through the shock, each day getting better than the next. But, I've had limited access to internet, and the internet I've had hasn't been wifi. So, I've been writing blog entries but not uploading them. The following are the 3 which I wrote on my first 3 days on the Indian Subcontinent.
Random Thought: 24,
written on September 10th, in the middle of the night
Wow,
I’m in India. It’s weird how you envision things. Ya know? Like, I’ve thought about going to India for so long now, but I really don’t think any thoughts or readings or research or plans really could have actually come close as to what it’d be like. It’s 3:36 in the morning and I’m at Indira Gandhi Airport, and this story is about as ironic as you can imagine.
So, when you’re in coming to a new place, especially a developing country, and you’re alone, the natural course of action is to ease yourself into it, right? Right. Unless you’re me. I, of course, intentionally made my arrival so that I would arrive at the Delhi International Airport at midnight…and then I would wait in the airport all night long to catch my next fight to Chennai, at 7:05 AM. This, of course, is all instead of booking a direct flight to Chennai, which could probably arrive at a pretty auspicious time. I don’t know why either.
So, awhile ago, I found out that the international terminal and the domestic terminal are actually four miles apart. I then find out that I actually have to get from one to the other…in the middle of the night. So, of course I’m expecting to just show up and have a fucking heart attack. Ya know? Like I don’t even know, I just am preparing for the worst. I’m so nervous on the flight over, and I just can’t accept the fact that I’m about to land in fucking India, and then when I finally land, it’s just….as easy as pie!
In fact, the most stressful thing about my evening so far has been this really bitchy lady behind me in Customs from the UK who was SO MAD that our line was taking so long, she even verbally accosted the Customs worker. She wanted me to join in, but I was like hell no sista, I am NOT gonna be thrown out of no India at midnight. Anyway, I hop on out of the plane and it’s literally just like arriving in Chicago or Detroit or whatever. I mean, this airport is shwank.
And even the international one itself is HUGE so I walk about a half a mile to get through customs and get my baggage, and of course every single sign is in English, I think there may have been like 2 in Hindi, and everyone is just SO NICE and I’m directed to this bus that transports people between terminals. I get on, and soon the bus fills up with all these locals, who are very helpful and conversational. Within 20 minutes, I’m where I need to be. The drive was semi-interesting, as I got to see something other than an airport, but it was dark. I then checked in for my next flight (4 hours early) and now, here I sit, in this cute little café area, surrounded by a KFC, Pizza Hut, Wifi “Laptop” Station (though you have to have a cell phone to actually use the wifi, dammit), and many sleepy travellers.
It’s just crazy how…not India this is. I mean, I know, I’ve only been inside airports (though I also drove 4 miles on the freeway), but like, I expected to walk outside to get to the bus and just be bum-rushed by beggars and overwhelmed with new smells and sounds and, yeah, just pass out or something. But this night has been…nice lol.
I don’t really know why though…maybe it’s because EVERY SINGLE THING is in English, or maybe it’s because everyone is SO nice. I mean really, everyone here treats you with such respect and you are always met by the biggest, most genuine smiles. This started with the very first flight attendant on my plane and continued until just now, in the security check. Customer Service here is DEFINITELY kicking Europe’s ass. I remember one night, the Danes and I just sat around talking all about customer service, and how for quite awhile, it seemed as though every single person we encountered hated their job and us for coming to their country. Here, even though it’s the middle of the night, I’ve been met by very helpful employees who were more than happy to assist me. And there’s just something so…well, genuine about it all, it’s quite refreshing.
I truly expected this evening to be the most stressful night of my entire trip, but as I sit here with my boarding pass, ready to board my flight 3 hours in advance, I’m definitely thinking that’s a no. Furthermore, I’m just…so happy right now. I can’t even put it into words.
Oh, and even though I’ve heard about it from countless people, it’s still so weird to see two men walking around holding hands. Oh! And I could have brought a bomb on my plane from Frankfurt. I have my messenger bag with me at all times, and it’s my carry-on on flights, and it’s full of…well, everything. I knew that when I put it into the scanner it would just go off like a bomb itself b/c it’s full of paper clips and pens and coins and god knows what else, and so of course, in line at Frankfurt, the machine freaked out. The security guard got it out, opened up, saw my Rough Guide to India, and asked
SG: Have you been to India?
J: Nope, I’m on my way.
SG: Really? How long?
J: About a month.
He flipped through my book and we made small talk about money, and that was it. He just waved me on. Wtf?!
- Josh A
Random Thought: 25
Written on September 11th
So, `
I have had two full days in India. Talk about fucking insane. I don’t even…whatever. If you thought my last post was ironic, it gets even more ironic that of course I actually do almost have a heart attack once I’m here. I don’t really know what happened, but once in my bed and just done with my first day, I was freaking the fuck out. I had just got done booking all my of flights home, so I knew that I was totally going to be home early, on October 23rd, and I was gonna get to Bali and to Vietnam and Chicago in pretty much the most perfect way possible, and I was officially on the second leg of my trip, and I was feeling great just movin’ along, feelin alive and all that bullshit I always spout…and then I just lost it.
I was up all night just thinking and missing Jason and missing my mom and being really whiny and pathetic. It was RIDICULOUS. I mean, it didn’t matter how logically I could force myself to look at things, nothing helped. Like, I knew that being here is important. It is! Being in India is pretty much the best thing I could possibly do with my life right now, if not the best thing I’ve ever done, because not only am I volunteering and actually doing something good for human kind for once in my life, I’m also bearing witness to things that everyone from white, middle class, Midwestern America needs to see: poverty, a developing country, disease, hunger, REALITY. I am expanding my horizons, padding my resume for grad school/previous jobs, and seeing the world. But last night, I would have honestly taken a direct flight home today if I had a little less willpower. Even the thought of seeing a familiar face, Jackie, as soon as
I’m done here didn’t help.
Today was much better. I still was annoying, but I went back and forth. I think the fact that I’m actually here and ticking off days is helpful. Like, the first day is always the hardest. This was true the first day I left Jason, and it’s true now. And tomorrow, I’ll actually move into my dorm, where I’ll be for 4 weeks and I’ll have my own space, air conditioner, and hopefully wifi. Then I can start my daily routine and…I really need one. Seriously. I am so tired of being a tourist.
I think that also compounded my mentality on day 1. I was already stressed, but what I was truly looking forward to about India was that I would be done just being a fucking tourist. Ya know? I am so tired of just walking around and finding a restaurant to eat at and then walking around more and then coming back to an unfamiliar hotel and then packing up the next day and lugging around my 40 pound backpack and then repeating the entire process.
That’s essentially all I’ve done my first two days in Hindustan. It’s pretty amusing how most people would love nothing more than to be taken on a free, private tour of the city upon arrival by a helpful, English-speaking local, but I was just like ‘Ugh. Fine.’ So, thank god for tomorrow. SO EXCITED!
To be fair though, essentially nothing actually stressful has happened to me. I got really lucky, in that there are two Americans staying at my hotel who are also here through my NGO and they were just super-nice, and showed me around, and took me to add minutes to my phone (yup, I have a cell now, call me), and just included me in their entire day. One’s from Wisconsin, so we talked about Chicago and how the Dells are ridiculous and the Midwest in general. I honestly think that without them I may have had a nervous breakdown and started crying. Because without them, I would have had 2 options: go out and explore a third-world country with no street signs on my own, or stay in all by myself all day in a hot, cramped hotel. Neither would have made my day A-OK.
Actually, there were some parts of my day with my fellow students that were exactly what I needed to feel better. Chris, the one from Wisconsin, told me that when he first arrived here, he literally was ready to just book a flight for the next day and go right home. He hated it and didn’t know how to deal. But the program director (whom I’ll meet tomorrow) talked him down. 7 weeks later, he loves it and is so glad he stayed. He and my other friend, Jessie, both told me to just take my time to adjust.
It took them both about 2-3 weeks before they really started getting into the groove. On top of this, Jessie also offered to be there for me if I need anything. Like, she said that when she got here, she wanted little things, like snacks for her room or a new pair of sandals, but didn’t know how to get anywhere or how to go about getting anything. And she was so nice and just totally offered to help me with anything I might need and gave me her phone number. She was like a gift from God, really. And we spent the day on this beautiful sea-side town with these ancient temples and carvings and a beautiful beach.
Another thing that gave me hope was that I was reminded again how short my trip really is. Jessie is staying in India for a total of 8 months…shit lol. She’s been here since July and is leaving in March. Chris got here August 1st, and isn’t leaving until November 28th. I’m out of here in 30 days, then I’ll be with Jackie O, someone I’ve known almost my entire life, for 5 days, so I realize that I should just calm down.
Oh! And neither Jessie nor Chris had been out of the US before. I know. INDIA was their very first experience outside home. Like, I’ve always wanted to go to India, but I wanted to go to Europe first to ease myself into it. I believed in this strategy so much that I went twice, and went east the second time around. It didn’t help. I’m still stressed, and my friends are doing just fine.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that I’m just not comfortable here. Yet, that is. Europe is one thing, ya know? Everywhere is attractive and easy and convenient, while here, everything is…well, not attractive, and complicated, and confusing. In Europe, I was in air conditioned youth hostels, surrounded by people who looked like me and sounded like me and watched the same TV shows as me. Here, I’m in a hot, cramped room, and though I met some awesome people today, I’m still essentially on my own.
I can only use the internet on the 1 computer here, so I can’t really update my blog, or skype with Jason, or watch Grey’s, or partake in any of the other ridiculous rituals I utilize to feel familiar and comfortable.
But, I will also admit that I’m lucky, in that everyone here is SO nice. Like, you walk down the street and strangers will yell hi to you from 15 feet away, because they want you to feel welcome or something. You walk into a shop, and you’re treated like royalty. If you have a question, people are more than willing to assist you, and they want to know where you’re from, what your parents do for a living and all about your personal history. And, obviously, everyone speaks English. More variables that could have made these past two days absolute hell.
Ok I’m done. But! Oh yeah! I’m also excited for tomorrow because apparently there are 3 Danish people who are also moving into my dorm tomorrow…so maybe I’ll make some more friends from Copenhangen :)
- Josh A
Ps I love Jason
Random Thought: 26
Written on September 12th
Hi again,
I’m all moved into my dorm. It’s…I dunno, not that nice, but this is India, and I’m probably living in a better situation than 85% of the population of this country. And I have air conditioning (IT’S SO FUCKING OPPRESSIVELY HOT HERE), a reliable (so far) outlet to charge my electronics, and my own shower. So, I’m thankful to be here. I am already on day 3 of my Indian excursion, and I’m feeling good. Day 4 will be 1/8 of my time here.
Ugh, I hate that I do that. I did it all through Europe, and I’m doing it again now. I constantly am keeping track of how much time I have left. I did it the entire first 3 weeks of Europe, the last week and a half, I forgot about it because I felt like all the pressure was off. I’m always aware of where I am in my trip. For example, tomorrow I will be 1/8 done with my time in India, 5 weeks total into my total trip, with 5 weeks and 5 days left, which means I am 7/15 done with my entire trip, just about halfway.
Hopefully, I’ll forget about this soon too. And when you think about it, there are a few big landmarks coming up. In a few days, my trip will be officially halfway over, and September will also be halfway over. Then very soon after that, I’ll have only 1 month until I’m home. That should take some of the pressure off. Ugh, I just have nothing to do still, so I keep thinking and thinking and thinking…it’s so annoying.
Essentially, I’m just sitting in my room alone all day. Though I was able to move in, all I did was talk with the program director about my meals during my stay, we talked about my goals, and then he gave me tons of tips and stuff. Now the rest of the evening I just get to sit around. It is nice though, because I’ve been watching Friends like crazy (yay for bringing 3 seasons of Friends, 2 seasons of Alias, 3 seasons of Roswell, and 10 of my favorite movies with me!). I even tried to go out exploring, but it’s a holiday today so all the shops are closed. I would have loved to get online or get some food.
Oh! PS. I have had no appetite at all since I arrived. I think it’s a mixture of the heat, plus the jet lag, plus the stress, but I am never hungry. Jess, Chris and I went out to eat, and I ordered this teeny, tiny pizza, and I only could eat half of it. I also have had indian food twice now, and though in the US, I always treat Indian food like a smorgasbord and just eat my heart out, I could barely finish my plate either time. Today I probably won’t eat anything. Oh well, at least I’ll look good in Bali! Ooh, that’s such a good idea.
On a very bright note, I have learned that the program coordinator, whose name is Krish, is just amazing. He is so helpful, and is so worried about my well-being. He has called me 6 times today, and texted me another 6 times with just random advice, and so many questions as to how I’m feeling, and has made every attempt to make me as comfortable as possible. He promised to go out tomorrow and look for a wireless router for my room, and even though the Danish girls aren’t here yet, he made the doorman promise that when they arrived, he would introduce us. Upon saying goodbye to me, he said something I’ll never forget: “Keep smiling.”
So, I’m gonna try to remember that. And I’m glad to know that I didn’t seem dour.
Oh! One last thing. Since I’m interested in public health, he told me that if I’d like, halfway through my stay, I could move to a hospital in Chennai and volunteer there in another program,. He said the accommodation is probably nicer and there are more volunteers there. I don’t know right now, but if it gets lonely around here, or I just need a change, I’m totally gonna take him up on that.
Ok wait, I lied, another thing. If you don’t know by now, I have shortened my trip. I am now coming home October 23rd. That’s why I’m almost halfway done now. Essentially, I realized that there’s no fucking way I can possibly travel around India all on my own for over a month without going fucking insane and just hating India, travelling, myself and life. It really was a hard decision, because I had to screw over Maggie and I’ll always feel very terrible about it, but it wasn’t that I just didn’t want to travel, it was that I couldn’t. Like, no part of me at all wants to go about doing that...and it's sad, but I know I'll return to India someday. There is so much to see, and I do like it, I just can't wander around aimlessly anymore. If I could volunteer for another month, I probably would, but I can't deal with just more endless travelling for so long. Who knew this would be my mindset now?
Anyway, volunteering, I can do. I recognize that I’m giving up my time and comfort (albeit in an air conditioned room with a private security guard) for others, and I am secure in my placement until I leave the country. Thankfully, Krish also agreed to let me stay 3 days later than I planned to volunteer, which is great because I only paid for 28 days, and I have 3 days between the last day and my flight. Anyway, this is really the most important part of my trip. And I paid $1000 to do it. And I raised $900 to pay for it. So, I can’t give it up.
It did take some tweaking though, like now I’m doing my research project in Chennai, instead of going about the country. You see, my research project is about the Reservations system in India. India has a system called ‘Reservations’, which is like Affirmative Action, but much more so. It’s aimed at women, scheduled tribes and Dalits. In other words, those who used to barely have a shot at getting into college are now reserved a certain percentage of all college admissions. It’s a flawed system, but it is doing good. I plan to speak with university representatives to see how this is actually implemented, and then compare it to the US. I got $3000 to do so, ps.
Originally, I was going to tour about the entire country and interview people from 4 colleges in Delhi, 4 colleges in Mumbai and 4 colleges in Bangalore. Shortly ago, I realized that sounds like a nightmare. So, now I’m just going to visit the 10 or so universities located in Chennai and do the same. As soon as I get my internet connection, I’m gonna get started on that.
ANYWAY, now, after I’m done with my time in india (which will be a total of 32 days, 3 of which are complete), I am flying to see Jackie in Bali for 4 days and 5 nights (and get this: I have THREE flights to ge there. Chennai – Delhi, Delhi-Bangkok, Bangkok – Bali). I was originally going to just stay in Thailand for that time, but then Jackie was like ‘Let’s go to Bali’ and I was like ‘Fuck yeah let’s go to Bali.’
From there, I’m flying to Hanoi for 3 nights and 2 days. And guess what. I’ve decided to live it up. Seriously. I am gonna book 3 nights at the nicest spa and resort in Ha Long Bay (google image it now), and there better be a pool, massages, tours, an awesome restaurant, a driver to pick me up at the airport, and every other amenity possible, because those are the requirements for me to book a room. Anyway, from there, I’m flying back to the US. I’ll be back October 23rd.
And it’ll all be awesome. As long as I keep on smiling.
- Josh A
So, I'm in India, and I'm working through the shock, each day getting better than the next. But, I've had limited access to internet, and the internet I've had hasn't been wifi. So, I've been writing blog entries but not uploading them. The following are the 3 which I wrote on my first 3 days on the Indian Subcontinent.
Random Thought: 24,
written on September 10th, in the middle of the night
Wow,
I’m in India. It’s weird how you envision things. Ya know? Like, I’ve thought about going to India for so long now, but I really don’t think any thoughts or readings or research or plans really could have actually come close as to what it’d be like. It’s 3:36 in the morning and I’m at Indira Gandhi Airport, and this story is about as ironic as you can imagine.
So, when you’re in coming to a new place, especially a developing country, and you’re alone, the natural course of action is to ease yourself into it, right? Right. Unless you’re me. I, of course, intentionally made my arrival so that I would arrive at the Delhi International Airport at midnight…and then I would wait in the airport all night long to catch my next fight to Chennai, at 7:05 AM. This, of course, is all instead of booking a direct flight to Chennai, which could probably arrive at a pretty auspicious time. I don’t know why either.
So, awhile ago, I found out that the international terminal and the domestic terminal are actually four miles apart. I then find out that I actually have to get from one to the other…in the middle of the night. So, of course I’m expecting to just show up and have a fucking heart attack. Ya know? Like I don’t even know, I just am preparing for the worst. I’m so nervous on the flight over, and I just can’t accept the fact that I’m about to land in fucking India, and then when I finally land, it’s just….as easy as pie!
In fact, the most stressful thing about my evening so far has been this really bitchy lady behind me in Customs from the UK who was SO MAD that our line was taking so long, she even verbally accosted the Customs worker. She wanted me to join in, but I was like hell no sista, I am NOT gonna be thrown out of no India at midnight. Anyway, I hop on out of the plane and it’s literally just like arriving in Chicago or Detroit or whatever. I mean, this airport is shwank.
And even the international one itself is HUGE so I walk about a half a mile to get through customs and get my baggage, and of course every single sign is in English, I think there may have been like 2 in Hindi, and everyone is just SO NICE and I’m directed to this bus that transports people between terminals. I get on, and soon the bus fills up with all these locals, who are very helpful and conversational. Within 20 minutes, I’m where I need to be. The drive was semi-interesting, as I got to see something other than an airport, but it was dark. I then checked in for my next flight (4 hours early) and now, here I sit, in this cute little café area, surrounded by a KFC, Pizza Hut, Wifi “Laptop” Station (though you have to have a cell phone to actually use the wifi, dammit), and many sleepy travellers.
It’s just crazy how…not India this is. I mean, I know, I’ve only been inside airports (though I also drove 4 miles on the freeway), but like, I expected to walk outside to get to the bus and just be bum-rushed by beggars and overwhelmed with new smells and sounds and, yeah, just pass out or something. But this night has been…nice lol.
I don’t really know why though…maybe it’s because EVERY SINGLE THING is in English, or maybe it’s because everyone is SO nice. I mean really, everyone here treats you with such respect and you are always met by the biggest, most genuine smiles. This started with the very first flight attendant on my plane and continued until just now, in the security check. Customer Service here is DEFINITELY kicking Europe’s ass. I remember one night, the Danes and I just sat around talking all about customer service, and how for quite awhile, it seemed as though every single person we encountered hated their job and us for coming to their country. Here, even though it’s the middle of the night, I’ve been met by very helpful employees who were more than happy to assist me. And there’s just something so…well, genuine about it all, it’s quite refreshing.
I truly expected this evening to be the most stressful night of my entire trip, but as I sit here with my boarding pass, ready to board my flight 3 hours in advance, I’m definitely thinking that’s a no. Furthermore, I’m just…so happy right now. I can’t even put it into words.
Oh, and even though I’ve heard about it from countless people, it’s still so weird to see two men walking around holding hands. Oh! And I could have brought a bomb on my plane from Frankfurt. I have my messenger bag with me at all times, and it’s my carry-on on flights, and it’s full of…well, everything. I knew that when I put it into the scanner it would just go off like a bomb itself b/c it’s full of paper clips and pens and coins and god knows what else, and so of course, in line at Frankfurt, the machine freaked out. The security guard got it out, opened up, saw my Rough Guide to India, and asked
SG: Have you been to India?
J: Nope, I’m on my way.
SG: Really? How long?
J: About a month.
He flipped through my book and we made small talk about money, and that was it. He just waved me on. Wtf?!
- Josh A
Random Thought: 25
Written on September 11th
So, `
I have had two full days in India. Talk about fucking insane. I don’t even…whatever. If you thought my last post was ironic, it gets even more ironic that of course I actually do almost have a heart attack once I’m here. I don’t really know what happened, but once in my bed and just done with my first day, I was freaking the fuck out. I had just got done booking all my of flights home, so I knew that I was totally going to be home early, on October 23rd, and I was gonna get to Bali and to Vietnam and Chicago in pretty much the most perfect way possible, and I was officially on the second leg of my trip, and I was feeling great just movin’ along, feelin alive and all that bullshit I always spout…and then I just lost it.
I was up all night just thinking and missing Jason and missing my mom and being really whiny and pathetic. It was RIDICULOUS. I mean, it didn’t matter how logically I could force myself to look at things, nothing helped. Like, I knew that being here is important. It is! Being in India is pretty much the best thing I could possibly do with my life right now, if not the best thing I’ve ever done, because not only am I volunteering and actually doing something good for human kind for once in my life, I’m also bearing witness to things that everyone from white, middle class, Midwestern America needs to see: poverty, a developing country, disease, hunger, REALITY. I am expanding my horizons, padding my resume for grad school/previous jobs, and seeing the world. But last night, I would have honestly taken a direct flight home today if I had a little less willpower. Even the thought of seeing a familiar face, Jackie, as soon as
I’m done here didn’t help.
Today was much better. I still was annoying, but I went back and forth. I think the fact that I’m actually here and ticking off days is helpful. Like, the first day is always the hardest. This was true the first day I left Jason, and it’s true now. And tomorrow, I’ll actually move into my dorm, where I’ll be for 4 weeks and I’ll have my own space, air conditioner, and hopefully wifi. Then I can start my daily routine and…I really need one. Seriously. I am so tired of being a tourist.
I think that also compounded my mentality on day 1. I was already stressed, but what I was truly looking forward to about India was that I would be done just being a fucking tourist. Ya know? I am so tired of just walking around and finding a restaurant to eat at and then walking around more and then coming back to an unfamiliar hotel and then packing up the next day and lugging around my 40 pound backpack and then repeating the entire process.
That’s essentially all I’ve done my first two days in Hindustan. It’s pretty amusing how most people would love nothing more than to be taken on a free, private tour of the city upon arrival by a helpful, English-speaking local, but I was just like ‘Ugh. Fine.’ So, thank god for tomorrow. SO EXCITED!
To be fair though, essentially nothing actually stressful has happened to me. I got really lucky, in that there are two Americans staying at my hotel who are also here through my NGO and they were just super-nice, and showed me around, and took me to add minutes to my phone (yup, I have a cell now, call me), and just included me in their entire day. One’s from Wisconsin, so we talked about Chicago and how the Dells are ridiculous and the Midwest in general. I honestly think that without them I may have had a nervous breakdown and started crying. Because without them, I would have had 2 options: go out and explore a third-world country with no street signs on my own, or stay in all by myself all day in a hot, cramped hotel. Neither would have made my day A-OK.
Actually, there were some parts of my day with my fellow students that were exactly what I needed to feel better. Chris, the one from Wisconsin, told me that when he first arrived here, he literally was ready to just book a flight for the next day and go right home. He hated it and didn’t know how to deal. But the program director (whom I’ll meet tomorrow) talked him down. 7 weeks later, he loves it and is so glad he stayed. He and my other friend, Jessie, both told me to just take my time to adjust.
It took them both about 2-3 weeks before they really started getting into the groove. On top of this, Jessie also offered to be there for me if I need anything. Like, she said that when she got here, she wanted little things, like snacks for her room or a new pair of sandals, but didn’t know how to get anywhere or how to go about getting anything. And she was so nice and just totally offered to help me with anything I might need and gave me her phone number. She was like a gift from God, really. And we spent the day on this beautiful sea-side town with these ancient temples and carvings and a beautiful beach.
Another thing that gave me hope was that I was reminded again how short my trip really is. Jessie is staying in India for a total of 8 months…shit lol. She’s been here since July and is leaving in March. Chris got here August 1st, and isn’t leaving until November 28th. I’m out of here in 30 days, then I’ll be with Jackie O, someone I’ve known almost my entire life, for 5 days, so I realize that I should just calm down.
Oh! And neither Jessie nor Chris had been out of the US before. I know. INDIA was their very first experience outside home. Like, I’ve always wanted to go to India, but I wanted to go to Europe first to ease myself into it. I believed in this strategy so much that I went twice, and went east the second time around. It didn’t help. I’m still stressed, and my friends are doing just fine.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that I’m just not comfortable here. Yet, that is. Europe is one thing, ya know? Everywhere is attractive and easy and convenient, while here, everything is…well, not attractive, and complicated, and confusing. In Europe, I was in air conditioned youth hostels, surrounded by people who looked like me and sounded like me and watched the same TV shows as me. Here, I’m in a hot, cramped room, and though I met some awesome people today, I’m still essentially on my own.
I can only use the internet on the 1 computer here, so I can’t really update my blog, or skype with Jason, or watch Grey’s, or partake in any of the other ridiculous rituals I utilize to feel familiar and comfortable.
But, I will also admit that I’m lucky, in that everyone here is SO nice. Like, you walk down the street and strangers will yell hi to you from 15 feet away, because they want you to feel welcome or something. You walk into a shop, and you’re treated like royalty. If you have a question, people are more than willing to assist you, and they want to know where you’re from, what your parents do for a living and all about your personal history. And, obviously, everyone speaks English. More variables that could have made these past two days absolute hell.
Ok I’m done. But! Oh yeah! I’m also excited for tomorrow because apparently there are 3 Danish people who are also moving into my dorm tomorrow…so maybe I’ll make some more friends from Copenhangen :)
- Josh A
Ps I love Jason
Random Thought: 26
Written on September 12th
Hi again,
I’m all moved into my dorm. It’s…I dunno, not that nice, but this is India, and I’m probably living in a better situation than 85% of the population of this country. And I have air conditioning (IT’S SO FUCKING OPPRESSIVELY HOT HERE), a reliable (so far) outlet to charge my electronics, and my own shower. So, I’m thankful to be here. I am already on day 3 of my Indian excursion, and I’m feeling good. Day 4 will be 1/8 of my time here.
Ugh, I hate that I do that. I did it all through Europe, and I’m doing it again now. I constantly am keeping track of how much time I have left. I did it the entire first 3 weeks of Europe, the last week and a half, I forgot about it because I felt like all the pressure was off. I’m always aware of where I am in my trip. For example, tomorrow I will be 1/8 done with my time in India, 5 weeks total into my total trip, with 5 weeks and 5 days left, which means I am 7/15 done with my entire trip, just about halfway.
Hopefully, I’ll forget about this soon too. And when you think about it, there are a few big landmarks coming up. In a few days, my trip will be officially halfway over, and September will also be halfway over. Then very soon after that, I’ll have only 1 month until I’m home. That should take some of the pressure off. Ugh, I just have nothing to do still, so I keep thinking and thinking and thinking…it’s so annoying.
Essentially, I’m just sitting in my room alone all day. Though I was able to move in, all I did was talk with the program director about my meals during my stay, we talked about my goals, and then he gave me tons of tips and stuff. Now the rest of the evening I just get to sit around. It is nice though, because I’ve been watching Friends like crazy (yay for bringing 3 seasons of Friends, 2 seasons of Alias, 3 seasons of Roswell, and 10 of my favorite movies with me!). I even tried to go out exploring, but it’s a holiday today so all the shops are closed. I would have loved to get online or get some food.
Oh! PS. I have had no appetite at all since I arrived. I think it’s a mixture of the heat, plus the jet lag, plus the stress, but I am never hungry. Jess, Chris and I went out to eat, and I ordered this teeny, tiny pizza, and I only could eat half of it. I also have had indian food twice now, and though in the US, I always treat Indian food like a smorgasbord and just eat my heart out, I could barely finish my plate either time. Today I probably won’t eat anything. Oh well, at least I’ll look good in Bali! Ooh, that’s such a good idea.
On a very bright note, I have learned that the program coordinator, whose name is Krish, is just amazing. He is so helpful, and is so worried about my well-being. He has called me 6 times today, and texted me another 6 times with just random advice, and so many questions as to how I’m feeling, and has made every attempt to make me as comfortable as possible. He promised to go out tomorrow and look for a wireless router for my room, and even though the Danish girls aren’t here yet, he made the doorman promise that when they arrived, he would introduce us. Upon saying goodbye to me, he said something I’ll never forget: “Keep smiling.”
So, I’m gonna try to remember that. And I’m glad to know that I didn’t seem dour.
Oh! One last thing. Since I’m interested in public health, he told me that if I’d like, halfway through my stay, I could move to a hospital in Chennai and volunteer there in another program,. He said the accommodation is probably nicer and there are more volunteers there. I don’t know right now, but if it gets lonely around here, or I just need a change, I’m totally gonna take him up on that.
Ok wait, I lied, another thing. If you don’t know by now, I have shortened my trip. I am now coming home October 23rd. That’s why I’m almost halfway done now. Essentially, I realized that there’s no fucking way I can possibly travel around India all on my own for over a month without going fucking insane and just hating India, travelling, myself and life. It really was a hard decision, because I had to screw over Maggie and I’ll always feel very terrible about it, but it wasn’t that I just didn’t want to travel, it was that I couldn’t. Like, no part of me at all wants to go about doing that...and it's sad, but I know I'll return to India someday. There is so much to see, and I do like it, I just can't wander around aimlessly anymore. If I could volunteer for another month, I probably would, but I can't deal with just more endless travelling for so long. Who knew this would be my mindset now?
Anyway, volunteering, I can do. I recognize that I’m giving up my time and comfort (albeit in an air conditioned room with a private security guard) for others, and I am secure in my placement until I leave the country. Thankfully, Krish also agreed to let me stay 3 days later than I planned to volunteer, which is great because I only paid for 28 days, and I have 3 days between the last day and my flight. Anyway, this is really the most important part of my trip. And I paid $1000 to do it. And I raised $900 to pay for it. So, I can’t give it up.
It did take some tweaking though, like now I’m doing my research project in Chennai, instead of going about the country. You see, my research project is about the Reservations system in India. India has a system called ‘Reservations’, which is like Affirmative Action, but much more so. It’s aimed at women, scheduled tribes and Dalits. In other words, those who used to barely have a shot at getting into college are now reserved a certain percentage of all college admissions. It’s a flawed system, but it is doing good. I plan to speak with university representatives to see how this is actually implemented, and then compare it to the US. I got $3000 to do so, ps.
Originally, I was going to tour about the entire country and interview people from 4 colleges in Delhi, 4 colleges in Mumbai and 4 colleges in Bangalore. Shortly ago, I realized that sounds like a nightmare. So, now I’m just going to visit the 10 or so universities located in Chennai and do the same. As soon as I get my internet connection, I’m gonna get started on that.
ANYWAY, now, after I’m done with my time in india (which will be a total of 32 days, 3 of which are complete), I am flying to see Jackie in Bali for 4 days and 5 nights (and get this: I have THREE flights to ge there. Chennai – Delhi, Delhi-Bangkok, Bangkok – Bali). I was originally going to just stay in Thailand for that time, but then Jackie was like ‘Let’s go to Bali’ and I was like ‘Fuck yeah let’s go to Bali.’
From there, I’m flying to Hanoi for 3 nights and 2 days. And guess what. I’ve decided to live it up. Seriously. I am gonna book 3 nights at the nicest spa and resort in Ha Long Bay (google image it now), and there better be a pool, massages, tours, an awesome restaurant, a driver to pick me up at the airport, and every other amenity possible, because those are the requirements for me to book a room. Anyway, from there, I’m flying back to the US. I’ll be back October 23rd.
And it’ll all be awesome. As long as I keep on smiling.
- Josh A
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)